Batman vs. Two-Face Page #4

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Duo will be zilch zeros.

(TWO-FACE LAUGHING)

(SIGHS)

HUGO:
How dare they fire me

after one little mishap?

I'll show them.

I'll show everyone!

They have not heard the last of...

Oy gevalt!

What now?

(GASPS)

TWO-FACE:
Hugo Strange.

We meet again, face to Two-Face.

I believe we have unfinished business.

Ach! (SPEAKING GERMAN)

(CLATTERS)

HUGO:
Nein. Nein. Nein!

(COMPUTER BEEPING)

The Bat-computer can't seem

to turn up any suspects

who might want to frame Harvey.

It's because Dent's the one behind it.

You're letting Bruce Wayne's

friendship with him

taint your crime-fighting objectivity.

And you're letting Dick Grayson's

insecurity taint yours.

Holy blind spot, Batman!

How can you not see

Dent's up to his neck in this?

Sirs.

Robin, I haven't had to

say this in quite some time.

Go to your room.

Gladly.

Master Robin...

BATMAN:
Let him go, Alfred.

Two-Face has us all on edge.

The boy just needs some fresh air.

Perhaps I do, too.

Is there something else, sir?

I'm supposed to see Catwoman tonight.

But I can't lose focus.

A man's good name is at stake.

Friends before females, eh, sir?

Indeed, Alfred.

CATWOMAN:
That does it!

No man, or Batman,

stands up the Catwoman.

(CAT MEOWS)

How did you get in here,

you little tramp?

(CAT PURRING)

Hello, Catwoman,

I'm afraid I've got bad news.

- The parole board denied your request.

- (CAT PURRING)

- Friend of yours?

- As a matter of fact, yes.

(SNARLS)

(GASPS)

(GROANS)

Well done, Hecate.

- You've earned an extra treat tonight.

- (CAT PURRS)

(LOCK CLICKS)

(GROANING)

(GASPS)

LUCILEE:
Let me out of here!

- She's getting away!

- Hey, pipe down,

or you're going in solitary.

Hmm.

Not bad.

In fact, purr-fect.

Master Dick, may I come in?

I've milk and cookies.

My word!

The game is afoot, Mr. Dent.

(HORN HONKS)

Caught you, you duplicitous DA!

Holy resurrection!

The Evil Extractor!

HARVEY:
Robin!

What are you doing?

Get out of here before it's too late.

I don't think so, Harv... (GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

TWO-FACE:
You should've listened to Harvey.

Now sleep tight, won't you?

(LAUGHING)

Wakey-wakey, Bird Boy.

(GROANS AND GASPS)

(STRAINING)

Who are you,

you depraved devil?

How did you get

Dent mixed up in this?

Dent is a useful idiot.

He serves his purpose.

Now it's your turn, Robin.

The boy guinea pig.

Soon we'll see if lightning strikes twice.

You'll never figure out

how to use that without...

HUGO:
Hugo Strange?

You know what they say.

If you can't kill them

in a horrible lab experiment, join them!

Consider this an experiment in terror.

(TWO-FACE LAUGHING)

(GASPS)

(LAUGHING)

(STRUGGLING)

(ALARM BEEPING)

- BATMAN:
Yes, Alfred?

- It's Master Dick, sir, he's gone missing.

The arrogance of youth.

I took the precaution of activating

the Bat-homing beacon in his utility belt.

- I'm sending you the coordinates now.

- (DINGS)

Good job, Alfred.

I'm on my way.

(LAUGHING)

Robin, I know you're upset,

but this is not an appropriate

way to blow off steam.

You should have joined

a young man's basketball league

or taken up model kit building.

For your own good,

when we get home, you're grounded.

Not if I put you in the ground first.

(LAUGHING)

Robin, old chum, what's happened?

Batman, stay away. (GROWLS)

How's that for a sidekick, old chum?

(ROBIN GRUNTING)

Batman, look out! (GROWLS)

(GROANING)

(GRUNTS)

(ROARING)

The evil extract formula

seems quite potent.

But for your plan,

we'll need a much bigger batch.

Don't worry about that,

I know just where we can get some.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Don't hold back, Batman,

I must be stopped.

Your mother wears combat boots.

This'll hurt me more

than it does you, old chum.

(ROBIN YELLS)

(GROANS)

(GROANING)

ALFRED:
Master Dick.

- (GROWLS)

- Goodness.

What's the matter, Jeeves,

never seen someone get up

on the wrong side of the bed?

Don't talk to Alfred that way.

Tell me he can be saved, sir.

I hope not.

I'm tired of being a square.

- Please, Batman, help me.

- (COMPUTER BEEPING)

Not to worry, old chum.

I think I have an antidote.

I've got your antidote

right here, Batman.

(GRUNTING)

Ah...

Gosh, I feel like I need to

wash my mouth out with soap.

Good show, Master Bruce.

Batman, Dent is

working with Strange.

I owe you an apology, Robin.

I was remiss in not giving

the evidence its proper weight.

But you were right,

Dent is involved.

But someone else is

pulling the strings.

Then my faith isn't

entirely misplaced.

There's still hope for Harvey yet.

(COMPUTER DINGS)

What is it?

Batman took the liberty of testing

your costume for any foreign residue.

According to the Bat-computer,

your cape contained traces

of a fine blue chalk.

Holy billiards!

Precisely.

And this particular brand of pool chalk

is used by only one place in town.

The newly refurbished

Winning Pair Casino,

where Harvey is holding

his bachelor auction.

A crime fighter forewarned

is a crime fighter forearmed.

To the Batmobile!

Batman, look at the

size of those balls.

They must have cost a fortune.

BATMAN:
The previous owner made his

money running small time gambling dens.

He knew luck always

favored the house.

It's easy to forget that statistically,

gambling is always a losing proposition.

TWO-FACE:
Boy Wonder, your sudden

breakout seems to have cleared up.

Who are you, Two-Face?

We're done with your ghoulish games.

Then you shouldn't have come here.

Batman in the corner pocket. (LAUGHING)

ROBIN:
Holy compaction! We'll be crushed!

Quickly, Robin, this is the only way.

(BEEPING)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

What now, boss?

Prepare them for the show stopper.

But first, take a memo.

Dear Gotham's Criminal Elite...

(JOKER LAUGHING)

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)

Huh?

(GASPS) Oh, how delicious,

it's an invitation.

"Two-Face cordially invites you to..."

"The unmasking of the Dynamic Duo.

"Batman and Robin."

(LAUGHING) Oh, rapturous day.

(LAUGHING)

"Follow the directions to the newly

refurbished Winning Pair Casino

"on 2222 Janus Lane."

Huzzah! Huzzah! (LAUGHING)

(CAT PURRING)

(BOTH GROANING)

(GASPS)

Holy half dollar!

Is this how it ends, Batman?

Steady, old chum.

A level head is the crime fighter's

greatest asset.

If I could just reach.

No, Robin, it's booby-trapped.

Any sudden movement could trigger it

and we'll be catapulted over those spikes.

(GULPS) At least

he's giving us a 50-50 chance.

Don't be fooled, Boy Wonder.

Our weight will ensure that

we fall face down on those spikes.

HARVEY:
Batman's right.

BATMAN:
Harvey, it's not too late.

Help us take down the man

who put you up to this.

But I'm as guilty as he is.

I just couldn't take being

a peon in the DA's office.

So, when he offered me this

Faustian deal, I took it.

I still believe in you, Harvey.

Then you're a fool.

Mr. Wayne had your face restored.

You were reformed.

I'm afraid Bruce only...

(HARVEY GROANING)

Healed the scars...

On the outside, Batman.

(GROANING)

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