Batman vs. Two-Face Page #5

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(YELLS)

No mere surgery could keep

Two-Face at bay for long.

Holy Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde!

Of course, the scars

are a physical manifestation

of the Evil Extractor's gasses.

You've been living a double life

this whole time.

Harvey's not the only one

living a double life, is he, Batman?

And soon, the secret beneath that cowl

will be exposed for all of Gotham to see.

You grisly gargoyle,

there's no way you can know

Batman's secret identity.

Ah, but that's where you're wrong,

Boy Blatherer. (LAUGHING)

This fiend forced me to set up

this charity auction as a ruse

to trap Bruce Wayne in a lie.

I only agreed because

I didn't believe him.

Bruce wouldn't keep anything

that important from me.

And yet, the always

punctual Bruce Wayne

hasn't shown up

for his own auction,

which could only mean

that he's been indisposed,

as Batman is now.

Voil.

The indignity of it all.

Holy indecent exposure!

Batman and Bruce Wayne,

one and the same.

Bruce, how could you keep secrets

from your old friend?

And you must be his youthful ward,

Dick Grayson.

I told you they were

living double lives.

What devilish diabolatry

have you devised for us next?

I know people who would pay

dearly for this information.

Which is why I gathered them all here.

(LAUGHING)

Now, one of Batman's greatest

enemies will have the opportunity

to buy his identity.

We'll start the bidding at $1 million.

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

Me, me, one million bucks.

Oh, it's a good thing

I had some spare change

laying around between

the couch cushions.

(LAUGHING)

Ah, cease that cacophonous cackling,

you malignant mutton-head.

The Penguin says a million and five.

Riddle me this!

Why are we like Two-Face's henchmen?

Answer, because we're all

doing his bidding. (LAUGHING)

(BOTH GROWLING)

Two million.

Three million.

(GRUNTS) Catwoman, you larcenous lynx.

Four million.

(ALL CLAMORING)

(ALL CONTINUE CLAMORING)

(BELL DINGING)

Silence! No one outbids

the princess of plunder.

Batman is mine to undo,

when I see fit and not before.

No one will see under

his hood besides me.

Five million.

(ALL GASP)

Oh, that's a little rich for my blood.

But what do you say we combine

the pot and we all get a peek.

(ALL AGREEING)

Then 10 million it is. (LAUGHING)

Going once, going twice...

Sold to all the villains of Gotham.

(LAUGHING)

Now, let's claim our prize.

Have your fun, boys,

but I have another engagement.

I'm sorry, Batman.

If they find out our identity,

it'll be the end of Batman and Robin.

The we have to trigger this giant coin.

But you said it yourself, it's rigged.

There's no choice. Now!

Egad! Come back here.

We paid good money for you.

BATMAN:
Robin, do precisely as I say.

Shift your weight 10 degrees to the left.

Based on my calculations,

it will change the coin's

center of gravity, and thus...

(ALL YELLING)

Thanks for your help, Catwoman,

I'm sorry about standing you up.

I've accepted the fact

that your first love will always

be crime fighting, Batman.

So if you won't join my side,

perhaps I'll join yours.

(EXCLAIMS) The Caped Crusaders are free.

Treasonous trollop!

Get them, men, or it's curtains.

Let Robin and I handle this,

you might get hurt.

Silly boy, I know cat-rate.

- Hi-ya!

- (MEN GRUNT)

(ALL GRUNTING)

(GROANS)

(BOTH GROAN)

BATMAN:
Strange's New

and Improved Evil Extractor.

While those fiends were bidding,

Two-Face was collecting

their evil essence.

Why would he need so much?

Great Scott, that's it!

He plans to turn all of Gotham

into Two-Faces.

Forgive me if I don't face

this foe with you, Batman,

but green isn't my color.

You've done more than enough, Catwoman.

Promise me you'll turn yourself in

to the nearest authorities.

Of course, Batman, cross my heart.

Quickly, Robin, there's no time.

(BI-PLANE ENGINE WHIRRING)

There, Batman,

we'll never catch him.

I already summoned the Bat-cycle.

This antidote is our last chance.

We may cure Harvey yet.

(GAS HISSING)

(ALL GASP)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(ALL GROANING)

(BOTH LAUGH)

Hey... (COUGHING)

(YELLING AND LAUGHING)

(ALARM BLARING)

(ALL CLAMORING)

(LAUGHTER)

(GASPS) Look out, men.

(LAUGHING)

REPORTER:
(ON RADIO) Citizens of Gotham,

this is Desmond Dumas,

warning you to head for cover.

That mutilated master of multiplicity,

Two-Face,

he's dousing the entire city

with some strange kind of gas.

I repeat, head for... (COUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

(ALL CLAMORING)

(GRUNTING)

(ENGINE REVS)

Robin, use the mini Bat-zooka

to disable his flight gear.

(BEEPING)

(MISSILE WHISTLING)

(LAUGHING)

Holy hairpin turn!

(MISSILES WHISTLING)

(LAUGHING)

(WHIMPERING)

It's no use, Batman,

that fiend's an ace pilot.

BATMAN:
Then there's only

one thing left to do.

Use our ejector seats to get altitude

and pray the Bat-boot

jets can do the rest.

Brace yourself.

Now, Robin.

(TAPPING)

(POWERING UP)

(BOTH GASP)

(BOTH YELL)

Batman!

Careful, old chum,

it's quite a drop.

(GRUNTS)

(FIRING GUNS)

(YELLS)

(SCREAMS AND GASPS)

(SCREAMING)

(FIRING GUN)

You'll never take me

alive, Caped Coppers.

Robin, behind the Bat-shield.

(LAUGHING)

- (TWO-FACE CONTINUES LAUGHING)

- Batman, this place is going to blow!

Then this is

as far as you go, old chum.

I'm going after Two-Face

and try to get close enough

to use the antidote.

ROBIN:
It's gone!

It must have cracked

open during the mayhem.

Then you can't go after him, Batman,

it'll be certain death.

I have to.

I can't give up on Harvey.

His friendship means a lot to you,

doesn't it?

Yes.

But not as much as

yours does, Boy Wonder.

I wouldn't want anyone else at my side

in this never ending fight against crime.

Now move to safety,

that's an order.

As a duly deputized officer

of the law and your friend,

I implore you to fight this, Harvey.

(BOTH GRUNT)

I detest cheap sentiment.

(STAMMERS) Bruce, I can't tell you

how terribly sorry I am

about all this.

You're weak, Dent.

And now that you've

outlived your usefulness to me

it's time I snuffed you out. (CHOKING)

(HARVEY SCREAMING)

There's no one left to protect you,

Masked Manhunter. (GROWLS)

(GUNS CLICK)

(GRUNTS)

BATMAN:
I've been counting your bullets.

Now it's you that's on the auction block,

and my fists are the highest bidders.

(GROWLS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Harvey, stay strong.

(GROANS)

(GROWLING)

(GRUNTING)

(AIR WHISTLING)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(GROANING)

(GASPS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(GROANS)

Goodbye, Batman.

Wait, doesn't the coin have to decide?

Curse you, Batman, for being right.

No! Impossible!

Oh.

(GRUNTS)

No!

Tell me what to do.

Can't decide.

Now's your chance, Harvey, fight him.

(STRAINING)

(YELLING)

You did this.

I'll destroy you.

No, he's my friend.

He believed in me

when no one else would.

He was a fool to trust us.

There's no us anymore, Two-Face.

I'm Harvey Dent... (GRUNTS)

District Attorney... (GRUNTS)

And I'm bringing you to justice. (GROANS)

(GRUNTING)

(GROANING)

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