Baywatch Page #5

"technically's" are wasting

a lot of time, technically.

Thank you,

blue-eyed demon.

And as far as this

dead body goes, look.

Badge on a uniform.

Patch on a swimsuit.

Lieutenant. Beat cop.

So keep us informed

of the investigation

and we're gonna do the same.

All right. Hey, how do

i keep in touch?

Seashell phone,

or do I just

blow into the conch

and you appear?

That's the spirit,

ellerbee.

Just call me

on the shell phone.

That's all you gotta do.

I'll tell you this,

if you crack this case,

they're gonna upgrade

you to a Segway

and they're gonna give you

big-boy pants to wear,

cover up

those chicken legs.

Oh, Christ, that's...

Councilman Rodriguez.

Good luck, officer.

Damn, Ronnie.

C.J.!

Please!

Oh, sh*t.

I never really heard

a guy sing that song,

but you're really good.

Thank you.

Uh, c.J., what are

you doing here?

Here? Oh, um,

it's a coed shower.

Coed, cool.

Cool, cool, cool.

Yeah, coed is cool

with me, 'cause I'm

cool with the coeds.

I'm taking lunch orders.

Do you want anything?

I would like a salad.

You sure?

This place has really

good cheesesteaks,

meatball subs,

foot-longs.

They really hit the spot.

No, I'll have a salad.

I'm just a straight-up

leafy green type of guy.

That's my type of jam.

Just hook me up

with a salad.

Okay. Salad.

Cool. All right.

Great.

By the way, uh,

when we shower in here,

we, uh, keep our suits on.

Right, Phil, Sarah?

But your, uh, clean nips

are looking really good.

Ah!

Thanks.

Bye.

Oh, god.

Why me?

How was

your day today?

Uh, I don't know.

A guy died.

Maybe this is why

we keep losing recruits.

- They can't handle it.

- Yeah.

I mean, now that

you know our job

is much more

than you expected, right,

the stakes are higher.

What happened today,

while very tragic,

unfortunately, it does happen.

So if you want to quit,

hey, we totally get it.

But if you don't and

you choose to stay,

just know that baywatch

is more than a job.

It's a way of life.

"A way of life."

You and I both know

I'm sticking around.

Am I the only one

that got a salad?

Look, this is what

i don't understand,

okay?

A guy dies.

That's tragic.

But that doesn't mean

that there's anything

sinister going on.

Okay? And even if

there was,

that's not our job.

That's not what we do.

We're lifeguards.

So, this, technically,

has nothing to do with us.

You just heard that cop.

He just told us that.

I just thought you

had to be on a really

restrictive diet

to look like you guys.

Brody, what is it

that you think we do

here at baywatch?

I thought

we were lifeguards.

I thought that

we prevent people

from getting sunburned

and, yeah, occasionally

stop them from drowning.

And that's all you

think that this is?

It's exactly what

i thought it was.

C.J., how about

you throw a few

of last month's

cases at olympiad here

and see what he'd do.

"Cases"?

Okay, um...

School of manta ray

in the cove?

You call animal control?

Before animal control

shows up,

the school of manta ray

fly up out of the water,

sting someone in

the chest and they die.

Steve irwin, r.I.P.

How about, uh, sand grifters

running a con on the beach,

right?

Well, I'm not exactly sure

what a sand grifter is,

Stephanie.

But I would probably

call the cops.

Sand grifters are,

uh, beach thieves.

Okay, so while you're

working on your tan,

they're stealing things

from families on the beach.

I'll give you

one better.

How about diamond smugglers

who are putting

the rocks in surfboards

and bringing them ashore?

Everything that you guys

are talking about

sounds like a really,

like, entertaining,

but far-fetched TV show.

But if that was the case,

i would

definitely call the cops.

We could call the cops,

and then do nothing,

like most people would.

But that's not us,

it's not

how we operate.

We watch when other people

don't want to watch.

We protect when other people

don't want to protect.

If we do the bare minimum,

sometimes people die.

Guys, we have flakka

that just washed ashore.

That sh*t is hardcore

and it f***ing kills people.

And now we got

a dead body in our bay.

And the girls on that boat

had the same drugs on them

that I found

in front of

Leeds's club.

So my gut says that

it's all connected.

Wait, Leeds did say

there'd be an open

house tonight, right?

Yes, she did.

And we're all going.

What'd you find

on chen?

No criminal record.

No fetishes.

No weird photos.

He's clean.

Makes me feel weird

about the stuff I have

going on in my life.

What about

his bank accounts?

Account.

This dude is

not rich at all.

All his money is tied up

in real estate in the bay.

Well, I guess you'll have

to help me persuade him

some other way.

Every man has a price.

Speaking of which,

I know you've been using

my special set of skills

for your own

nefarious purposes,

but additional compensation

would go a long way

in motivating me to

keep my mouth shut.

You're blackmailing me.

Huh? Well, I wouldn't...

Dave...

I really admire a man

who knows how to

seize an opportunity.

I'm very impressed.

Keep up the good work.

Thanks.

Do we have a deal, or...

I need some closure.

Hey.

Hi.

Wow, you look

really nice.

Hey, you look

really nice, too,

baby gap.

That shirt come

in big-boy size?

Well, at least

I'm undercover.

Look at you.

You didn't even try.

All right, guys,

we got a very big night,

with one goal in mind.

It's our only shot to prove

that they're dealing here,

so we gotta make it right.

So, c.J. And Ronnie,

find out who's selling.

Summer, keep an eye on

Leeds and her thugs.

Then Mitch and I will search

the place for where

she hides the product.

Brody?

What?

You're our lookout.

Lookout?

Guys, if you want to

find drugs at a party,

I can walk in there

and find drugs.

It'd take me, like,

five minutes.

Not 'cause I do it

all the time.

I'm just saying

it's not rocket science.

Okay, troubled youth.

Thank you for that.

The only way

this whole thing is

gonna work out

is if everyone,

everyone,

does their job.

Can you handle that,

Malibu Ken?

Yeah.

What?

Why is everyone

looking at me? Summer.

Hey, am I the only one

that thinks this is clearly

a job for the police?

Yes.

Yes.

F*** it.

Mr. chen, I'm so glad

you could make it.

I wanted to meet

the new neighbor everyone

is talking about.

So I presume you know

why I had to invite you.

I am not interested in

selling my properties.

Why don't you think

about it, okay?

I of all people know

how hard it is

to run a business.

You never know when

a dry spell could come.

What are you thinking?

I think we case it

and I'll meet you

back here in five.

All right.

Sounds good.

All right, Steph.

So where should I,

like, look out from?

Hey. How are you?

Victoria.

You killed Rodriguez

in front of witnesses.

What the f***

were you thinking?

They were high.

They didn't

see anything.

They better not have.

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