Bearcity Page #7

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simon.

Right. Chao. Come on you guys,

come on let's go dance.

C'mon. Michael. Let's go dance, baby.

Oh I'm too old for this sh*t.

Get your fat ass up and

get on the dance floor.

Oh don't call me out like that!

You are officially tryin' to kill me.

Awe baby. Come on Papa,

gotta move your hips.

If I move my hips anymore

they're gonna fall off.

C'mon Daddy, you can do it!

Where'd you get this one? That's

a nice Christmas present.

He likes the buffet.

What was that? What was that?

You the monorail.

Hold for bus.

Come here Cece Pennington.

Calm down.

Hey what about the kid?

Tell him to come on over.

Yeah wind him in.

Get if off, come on take it off.

I guess it wouldn't be a gay club if

I didn't take my shirt off.

Hey, where the hell is simon?

I fell in.

I'm gonna kill this b*tch.

Kill this b*tch.

Well, look what we have here!

Hey, Roger!

Which one is Roger?

Guys, this is Fernando

from Barcelona...

... can we join in?

Yeah come in, Rodge. Back it up.

You boy, in front!

You, close your mouth,

you're drooling.

He is f***ing hot, Rodge.

He's moving in with me.

Did somebody put ''E'' in my dirty jock?

Did he just say he's moving

in with him?

Ty, you OK?

Yeah, sure.

- Congratulations.

- Alright, I'll see you later.

I'm hungry. I want some chicken.

- Poop hat.

- Poop hat.

should I even ask what

you're laughing at?

No.

That's Uncle Mel?

You are out of your mind.

Where'd yall get ecstasy?

Oh, from the Circuit Bear

in the front.

- Oh, you mean Doug?

- Doug.

- Figures.

- Figures.

Tyler.

Water.

You're welcome, Bobby and Whitney.

Thanks Ty.

Hello.

I needed that, I am so sweaty.

Where's your new roommate?

- He went to go peeth.

- Peeth.

This is a new development.

Would you tell your real friends

what's going on?

Certainly, Michael, my love.

What would you like to know?

Well start at ''we met in the back

room'' and go from there.

For your information we did not meet

in the back room...

we met at the bar upstairs last night.

Balls, tell us the story

about his balls.

He's like your telenovela counterpart!

You guys are tripping balls,

aren't you?

- Balls.

- Balls.

Ignore. Talk to Daddy.

Look, I realize this may be

uncharacteristic

but I'm not going to kiss and tell.

What?! You always tell every story

about every Tom, Dick and Harry.

Tom's dick is hairy.

That was funny, that was funny baby.

Moving in? You just met the guy.

Love at first grope.

That's what it's called.

No, no. Love at first sounds!

Ooh, put that wire hanger

up your little..

No one would even miss them

if they were gone.

I will pay you to take them out.

I'm going to go find simon.

Who's simon?

Tyler's old roommate. He a nice li'l

piece of chicken. But you, tell me

what's goin' on with you?

Michael, I have no idea

what you're talking about.

How long we known each other?

That would be since the Mesozoic age.

Ah, since Pangaea broke apart. And you

have never acted like this. I think

you have feelings for someone, but it

ain't this spaniard.

Michael, please don't

psychoanalyze me.

I am your oldest friend, if I don't

psychoanalyze you, who is gonna do it?

I just want you to be happy.

I am happy.

And now I'm going to go find

my Latin stud.

Oh yeah.

Put it here.

Is that a tear?

I'll put it up here.

Oh baby.

That's cold.

That's cold.

Hey what's goin' on?

Hey Rodge, who you lookin' for?

This guy I met last night.

Oh yeah? Well if you find him, send

him on over to me,

I'll break him in for ya.

Have a good night Buck.

Excuse me.

Rodge, wait.

Tyler, please.

Hey!

Did you see what that

a**hole just did?

Yes, please forgive that a**hole, ok?

I'm in love with him.

That was Roger?

Yes, simon, go use another bathroom.

This some Tyra Banks sh*t!

sorry, big guy, Woof! Grr!

Hey Rodge?

Please, Rodge.

If I think I'm an a**hole, then I

imagine the sentiment is mutual.

When are you going to stop giving a

sh*t about what everyone thinks,

and do what you want?

Kid, what people think is all I see.

so why don't you close

your eyes for once.

Aww.

Peeping Tom much?

I'm sorry Ty, but that

was so beautiful.

Please tell me you know this child.

No I can't say I do.

Feel free to kill him.

Nice.

Hi, we haven't been properly

introduced. I'm simon.

What up kid? I'm Roger.

Hey, simon?

Oh, I'm sorry. I'll leave you two,

there's bound to be some Kylie playing

in this club somewhere...

Oh! I'm so-

Woof! Daddy's here.

Ohhhhhhh.... my God

I can't believe I...

What did I say?

Don't worry. Once you get to know him,

he's exactly what you think he is.

God, you're beautiful.

What do you say?

You ready to go make an

appearance with me?

Baby, I was just looking for you.

Keep looking, I'm back there

somewhere.

F*** you. There are plenty of you

back there.

Who wants to eat my ass?

Last call.

Veto.

What about him?

Veto.

- What about him?

- Veto.

- Why?

- He has a cold sore.

Oh my God.

What's up?

Um.

Mel.

How you doin'?

I'm good.

Woof.

so, you guys play?

Um. No, no. We're monogamous.

Yeah, yeah sorry dude.

Monogamous. I'm sorry.

We're from outta town.

Can't blame me for trying.

Good to meet you.

Oh God, thanks... I like your hat.

Oh my God.

stupid.

You have to take care of

this knee, Gordito.

How does that feel?

Much better, now.

I love you, Michael.

I love you too, Osito.

And I want to be with you in

the hospital when you go.

Really?

I would be lucky to be by your side.

Thank you.

That won't be necessary.

Why, Gordito?

Please.

Carlos, I'm not gonna

have the surgery.

Really?

Really.

Oh my God. When did you decide this?

When you put the ice on my knee.

Come here, Gordito!

Did you have fun last night?

Oh I know you did had fun last night.

I saw you in the backroom.

I wasn't in the backroom.

- You were in the backroom.

- I was not!

When he put the ice on my knee I knew

it. I was letting the world's narrow

view of beauty dictate my self worth

and disregarding

the people who love me just how I am.

Besides, you know how much

a new wardrobe costs these days?

Ah, yes.

You two are so cute. And by cute, I

mean I just.. Oh yeah, I definitely

just threw up in my

mouth a little bit.

Be that as it may, you both look very

cute. surreal though it may be.

Oh Mick, you know

I'm bigger than that.

My phone, my phone.

My chubby fingers trying to

work this thing...

I got the job at Broadway.com!

Oh my God, baby. That's great.

Congratulations!

Don't you dare start singing

f***ing showtunes...

I might sing some showtunes.

Dude, that's awesome!

Baby, stop moving,

everything's spinning.

Oh, sorry.

Hey b*tches.

Randy!

I thought you weren't working today.

I'm not. These are on me. DIRTY JOCKs

ALL THE WAY AROUND!

Listen up, everyone's attention. Let's

give a big shout out to the peeps that

put on this whole thing together and

to the bartenders who had to put up

with your sh*t all week. TO ANOTHER

sUCCEssFUL BEARCITY!

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