Beautiful Thing Page #3

-Leave me alone.

-You all right?

-Apparently.

They think I'm a piece of sh*t.

Jamie?

D'you wanna watch The Sound o'Music?

-It's on Sky, Jamie!

-We're goin' asleep!

OK.

Sorry, lads.

It's me mum's.

Body Shop.

Peppermint foot lotion.

Soothes your feet.

Lie down and I'll rub it into your back.

If you want.

Cold, innit?

Yeah.

I'm gonna work at the sports center.

Yeah?

Do me shifts in the fitness pool,

do me shifts in the leisure pool.

I know I can do it.

You're a good swimmer.

You're on your own when you're swimming.

I'm gonna stink of mint.

-Peppermint.

-Peppermint.

Have you ever..kissed anyone?

And stuck your tongue in?

Looking like this?

You ain't ugly.

They've made me ugly.

I don't think you're ugly.

Turn over, I'll do your front.

I can't.

I'm..I'm too sore. I'd make too much noise

and then your mum'd come in.

Jamie? Sorry, love.

-Who played the baroness?

-Eleanor Parker.

-That's it!

I wanna show off to Tony.

Sorry, lads. Won't happen again.

-Turn the light off.

-No.

-Please.

-I don't wanna.

Can I come up that end with you?

-No.

-Please.

You stay where you are.

-Satisfied?

-Mm. Night.

D'you think I'm queer?

Don't matter what I think.

Can I touch you?

I'm a bit sore.

Yeah.

-Great kid!

-F*** off, I'm minding her for my cousin!

Motherhood suits you!

Yeah, well, at least if I did get pregnant

I wouldn't get rid of it like...

some slappers I could mention.

Yeah, well, you're with the

black hole o'Thamesmead love, not me.

-Where you going?

-Out with me mates.

Jamie, you haven't got any mates.

-I'm going to a party. I won't be late.

-I know.

Knocked around for you a few times.

Thought you might come round.

It's hot. Bloody heat wave, Jamie,

and you expect me to be indoors?

No, it's just, you know,

just a bit weird.

I was out. All right?

What's weird about that?

-Been worried about you.

-Don't be.

-Well, I was.

-Well, don't be!

Nothing's happened, yeah?

I'm all right. I'm pucker.

Everything, everything's pucker.

-You're black and blue.

-Give a rest, Jamie.

Oh, things getting better then, are they?

Daddy laid off the fist work?

-Or haven't you burned the tea lately?

-I said leave it out!

-You're scared.

-I ain't scared o'nothing.

-Yeah?

-Yeah!

Last week, right..

I went to Woolwich.

Coming out of this shop and there's this geezer in the gutter,

pissed out of his skull. Lying there.

And everyone was walking past him.

I had to step over him.

And it was my old man.

Got me to thinking on the bus.

Why be scared of a bloke who's dead to the world?

When he knocks ten different types o'shite

outta ya.

He's an embarrassment.

He's nothing more, he's nothing less.

-Why be scared o'that?

-Scared o'being called queer?

Are you?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

-And are you?

-Queer?

Gay?

I'm very happy.

I'm happy when I'm with you.

There, said it now.

Go on, piss yourself.

No.

Why not?

Don't you think it's funny?

I don't wanna.

I think it's hilarious.

Well, why aren't you laughing then?

D'you wanna come round tonight?

-Say somin'.

-I Can't.

Well, say no then.

Look. Let's get a drink, eh?

Scrub me back, Tony.

Tony?

Tony, what's the matter?

Tony?

It's just..something Leah said.

Leah?

Right. I'll look away.

Yous lot keep talking.

-Then as a surprise, hit me over the head with the tongs.

-What?

-It's an experiment.

-Man, I'm wired.

I don't understand this,

d'you want me to hit you hard?

Yeah.

Ah here Ste, you do it, you're stronger than her.

-No!

-I can f***in' do it!!

Come on. Talk.

-I said talk!

-Is anybody else wired?

'Ere. Read this!

Mama Cass wasn't allowed to join the group because

Phillips didn't think her range was good enough for his songs.

But one day when Cass was decorating at home,

a lead pipe struck her on the head

-and when she recovered from the resultant concussion...

-Say it..

Lo and behold her voice had changed.

You twisted little b*tch.

-How dare you say all those things to my fella?

-La-ah!

I lost that baby,

you venomous little cow!

You could never turn Tony's mind against me,

Leah, d'you hear me?

Coz he sees you for the interfering

little slapper that you are.

-I wanted it to change.

-Yeah, well, some things never change.

I wanted it to change!

A leopard never changes it spots and

a slapper never changes her knickers.

-Be told.

-Man, I'm tripping.

Come on, Tony.

-Fancy a drink, babe?

-Have a wank, Big Bollocks!

Is that your mum, Gangel?

No wonder you're f***in' nuts!

You shouldn't have said that

to Tony.

-Don't you start.

-Should I call an ambulance?

Call a vet, have it put down.

Hey Ste!

You got any of them Es left?

-No!

-Please, Steven!

-No way!

-Come on, Jay, let's go..

Give us an E.

Or I'll spread it round where you slept last week.

What?

-Dunno what you're talking about.

-He slept on the couch.

Not what I heard. Top to tail,

your mum said, very nice.

Take no notice, Ste.

-What would your dad say?

-Piss off, Leah!

-What would..your Trevor say?

-Leah!

-Try it!

-I don't like hitting girls!

-Oh, hit me then. Go on. Hit me.

-You stupid queer!

-Ste, come on.

Oi! Trevor already knows!

You know what them flats are like,

walls paper-thin!

Why d'you think he's been twatting

the face offa you, eh? He knows!

There's nothing to know!

-Top to tail?

-You know f*** all!

-Oh, really?

-Yeah, really.

But I know this much, I've been sticking up

for you. For the pair of you.

Told him I knew you'd slept on the couch,

told him I'd been in and seen.

I goes, 'You shouldn't say things like that

about your own brother, they're just mates.'

Nothing happened.

-When was the last time your Trevor hit you?

-What's it to you?

-I bet it was Thursday.

-So?

You see, that's when I told him.

That's when I lied.

-Give her an E.

-Nah, it's all right.

I'm not after sympathy.

-We going then

-Are you f***ing stupid or what?!

-Ste...

-Get your hands off of me!

-Ste!

-Get your f***ing queer hands off of me!

-Oright?

-Oright.

-What you doing?

-Oh not a lot.

Claire's mum's got some vodka

back at their house, aint she, Claire?

-Yeah, half a bottle.

-We're going back there now.

Claire's mum works at the all-night garage.

Don't she, Claire?

Yeah. Her name's Mary.

D'you fancy some vodka, Ste?

Oh, not really.

-Well then. See ya.

-See ya.

Come on, Claire.

I suppose a shag's outs the question then?!

-I'm going now.

-All right, love.

Oi!

-What's his problem?

-Oh, he's in love, that's all.

No!

-Yeah, I'll see ya!

-See ya! Wouldn't want to be ya!

How d'you fancy going to Greenwich? The Park.

Legs astride the Meridian, as they say.

I gotta sort out the

week's rota for work.

You're addicted to that pub,

addict!

Don't knock it,

there's money to be made in booze.

Is that all you want outta life?

All I want is enough money to buy

a decent pair o'shoes that don't let in the rain.

-I can get you shoes.

-No, Tony, it's all right.

-I can make you shoes.

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