Beautiful Thing Page #4

-Tony!

Right.

I'll do some hoovering or whatever.

-But I thought you said you wanted to go to the park!

-No problem.

-Yo, Ste!

-Oright?

'Ere, Ste.

Any beans to spill?

A little bird told me you're in love.

What?

Four-letter word love!

Oh, don't look so worried,

Jamie told me all about it.

She's jealous,

twenty years younger, could've been her.

-Come on, what's she like?

-Well, what's her name then?

-No!

-Oh, short for Nolene? Very Home and Away.

It's about time too, you deserve a bit o'luck,

coz you're all right, you are.

'Ere, buy Nolene a present with this.

-Get her some flowers.

-Sandra, I can't take your money.

Oh, I had a good night for tips last night,

go on.

It's for his bird.

Do you have to use words like that?

It really disempowers you.

Nolene busy tonight, was she?

Got you this.

My, what a pretty hat.

It's the prettiest hat I ever did see, Master Steven.

Does this mean we're engaged?

What?

Tony.

Sort me out.

It just don't feel right. Here.

Your mum and Tony on the other side o'that door.

My ole man and Trevor next door.

I got an aunty in Gravesend, thought

we could go there one night coz she's deaf.

But that don't feel right either.

You cannot transmit the HIV virus

via frottage.

-What's frottage?

-Yoghurt. It's French.

Dear Brian,

I am twenty-three, black, and gay.

I am happy being with a man, but get a horrible feeling that

people are going to talk about me behind my back,

and not accept me as I am.

Also, my family don't know.

Unhappy, north London.

Get over that river, mate.

I'll make you happy!

Find page ninety-two.

It's the bottom right-hand corner.

It's a pub.

One-eighty bus goes right to it.

So?

Look at that.

Isn't that beautiful?

You'd never get it through the front door.

Yeah, well, you never know when you're gonna be

living somewhere else do you?

That is a work of art.

Claude Monet couldna done better.

Get a life.

D'you know who Claude Monet is?

Jamie, don't make me out to be thick.

You just remember I won a year's supply of

toilet freshener for making up that poem.

That took brains and artistry,

that did.

Can you imagine it though?

Me and you with our feet up

on a cold winter's night?

-On that.

-Sandra!

Who was he then?

He painted the Sixteenth Chapel.

-And I haven't finished with you yet.

-Miss Chauhan.

-See ya!

-Have a cool time, kid!

You rung to talk about

my little git of a son?

You seen Jamie?!

I love you. You're marvelous.

Well, Petra, I hope your leg gets better.

She still thinks she's in Baby Jane.

Fancy wheeling me round the back, mate?

Excuse me, what's going on here?

Petra, dear?

Bit young for you, isn't she dear?

Looks like she's just out of Pampers.

Shut up, you.

What's your name, petal?

-Jamie.

-That's lovely.

Oh, Jamie, you make me feel like

I just wanna get my breast out to you.

I feel like chicken tonight!

So, Jamie, I think I'll have two of you,

and ten of your mate! Hello.

Well, I've got my work cut out.

I'll see you after the break. Trar.

Oh, don't you wish

your leg was better, Petra.

See you later!

Mothercare, here I come!

-Oright, Leah?

-Leah? Who's Leah?

Had a nice night?

Yeah.

-Got pictures?

-Yeah.

-What, with Ste?

-Yeah.

This is no time for lying, Jamie!

It's not a lie!

You went the Gloucester,

didn't you?

Look at me!

Only went for a drink.

That's where gay people go.

It's not just gay people go,

other people go.

Oh, people like you?

Yeah.

-Miss Chauhan rang me today.

-That old bag?

-You never told me you kept getting hit!

-Everyone gets hit!

Oh..

and does everyone get called a

queer bent bastard and all then, do they?

-You're pissed.

-No I'm not.

You're pissed from a bloody gay bar.

-How d'you know it's gay anyway?

-Because it's got a bloody great pink neon arse outside of it.

You been spying on me?

No. Someone at work saw you go in.

Well, it don't mean I'm gay.

They wanna mind their own business.

-That's what I said.

-Well, what you going on at me for then?

Because sometimes, Jamie, I can put

two and two together and make bloody four.

-I'm not bloody stupid, you know.

-I went for a drink. Big deal.

-Everyone in my class goes drinking.

-Yeah

But they don't all go the bloody

Gloucester though, do they?

-Some of 'em take drugs, at least I'm not doing that.

-No, I bloody hope you're not!

Ah, well, thanks a lot. Thanks a bundle.

Go back to bed.

-I can't sleep, Jamie.

-Well, don't take it out on me.

-Will you just talk to me, Jamie?

-I'm knackered.

Jamie. Please.

Just talk to me.

What about?

I'm your mother.

Some things are just hard to say.

I know. I know that.

You think I'm too young.

You think it's just a phase.

You think I'm gonna catch AIDS

and...and everything.

You know a lot about me, duntcha?

Don't cry.

It's oright.

I'm not gonna put you out in the morning

like an empty bottle.

There was me goina bed of a night worried

coz you had to share a bed with Ste.

And all the time you were...

you were doing a seventy minus one.

I like the lad, Jamie.

But he hasn't seen any life.

-He's good to me.

-Is he?

Yeah.

-What have you done now?

-Nothing.

Then why's she so upset?

Coz I'm a queer! A bender! A pufter! A nobshiner!

Coz I'm a queer! A bender! A pufter! A nobshiner!

Brown hatter! Shirtflaplifter!

I...I get the picture.

Leave me alone.

-And she knows this?

-No, I thought I'd tell you first.

This is...it's...

It's cool.

Good night, kidder.

He was...

He was the most beautiful baby

in Bermondsey.

I used to push him round,

in a frilly hat,

in a big blue pram called

'Queen of the Road'.

None of that's changed.

-You're fighting it, hon.

-Fighting?

I've been fighting all my life.

Kids picking on him. I was there.

Council saying bullocks to benefit.

I was there.

When I had three pee in my purse and an empty fridge,

I went robbing for that boy.

So don't talk to me about fighting.

You? What have you ever had to

fight for in your life?

Thank you.

Thank you to all members of the Academy.

This award means so much to me.

I've never won anything

in my life before.

I'd like to thank my manager and my band.

But most of all...

-I'd like to thank one very special person.

-What the...

The woman from whom all energy flows.

This award is as much hers as mine.

The woman who gives me so much...

inspiration.

-Let's hear it for her...Mama San!

-Leah.

-People say to me, they say...

-Leah, are you drunk?

-'Where d'you get your energy from?'

-Leah...it's two o'clock in the morning.

-And I say, "Hey...

-Has she taken something?

-Mama San.'

-Is your mother in?

Mama San, get on down, honey.

Your vibes are shooting through me now.

-Is she working nights?

-Don't ever let the light leave you, Mama San.

Rose! Leah, get your keys out.

Hurry up.

Have you taken like a trip, you know?

-Jamie! Leah, let me have your keys please.

-Don't shout at her.

-You're giving me bad vibes, Mama.

-She's on something.

Jamie!!

-You're an old man, and I don't like old men.

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