Beauty Shop Page #6

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for the discarded equipment

you have stacked up

out in the alley.

Big Mike's Moving & Hauling

is picking that up today.

- They always are.

- No. They real...

This is for $500.

Come on, man, I just bought this place.

I can't afford to be gettin' hit

with tickets like this.

You sure can't.

Next one will be 1,000.

One more after that

and I shut you down.

Have a nice day.

"Have a nice day."

Now y'all comin'.

Well, your timin' is perfect.

Y'all slow.

My bad. I been

runnin' solo for a month,

and my boss, he think

I'm some kind of slave.

Sign here.

How long was you down for?

Four months. Paroled out early.

- Possession?

- Now, why you gotta assume a brother...

Illegal sale of a restricted narcotic.

So, where's the countertops and stuff?

- Everything is back there in the alley.

- A'ight.

By the way, who does your hair?

Your braids is tight.

Thanks. I do it myself.

Come on.

For real. I used to braid

in the shop around the way.

Then I caught this little case,

you know.

But even in the pen, I did braid

all the homies' hair on the block.

You like drivin' that truck?

Ain't nothin' really else out there.

Well... we may take...

Dawg, how long it gon' take?

Our boy is fine.

Damn fine.

I'd do him in a heartbeat

if I wasn't so damn fertile.

- And didn't have a husband.

- He is cute.

Thanks.

Thanks.

You got me next, right?

I think I was here before you.

What the hell is you talkin' about?

You ain't got no hair.

- What?

- What's he gon' do, braid your scalp?

- You watch your...

- Ladies, listen.

I promise I'll take care of both o' y'all.

- I think she was here first.

- But she...

Let me just take care o' her

and then I'll definitely gon' get back to you,

'cause in my mind, I'm still tryin'

to figure out how I'm gonna...

But I'm telling you,

somethin' just ain't right.

It's like he's too good-looking.

You can't tell by looking

at the brother if he's gender-specific.

Josephine, come on!

Look at the muscles on that boy.

Fifty percent pumpin' iron,

and the rest from fightin'

the brothers off that booty.

He got a little swish down river.

He is beautiful, ain't he?

- Straight diamond in the rough.

- All shiny.

'Scuse me. Let me see

if he wants some cappuccino.

No, sh...

- Dang.

- I don't know.

I think he's straight.

You are so new.

James, you want a cappuccino?

- Yeah, please.

- Here you go.

- You want one?

- No. I'm okay, thanks.

Cappuccino?

Swish-swish.

You better work

Work it, girl

- Cover girl.

- Do your thing!

- Shante, shante.

- On the runway!

- Work, cover gir...

- Get that phone.

It's a great day

for a press and curl here at Gin...

Hold on.

It's a Darnelle.

What up, D?

You where?

How does a grown-ass woman

get herself into this kind of trouble?

How was I supposed to know

the bike was stolen?

It don't matter.

You gonna have to start makin'

some better choices with these men.

This is the last time

I'm bailin' you out.

Next time, I'ma let

your little butt sit there

and let the chicks from "C" Block

pass you around for a carton o' cigarettes.

They'll love a little freak like you.

- You gonna tell my mom about this?

- No, I ain't gonna tell your mama.

I should.

- Look...

- Why raise her blood pressure?

Thank you, okay? Thank you.

Look, I'm sorry and I'll pay you back.

- With what, D? You ain't even workin'.

- I know that.

But, look, I'll find a way.

I promise.

That's for sure. Ain't no secret

I'm gettin' my money back.

I'ma get my money

one way or another.

Cappuccino?

Cappuccino? Water?

There you go.

Say it like you mean it.

No, scratch that.

Like you love it.

- You want a cappuccino?

- No, baby.

I don't eat or drink

nothing I can't spell.

You must be

like the spellin' bee champ.

Don't look like your mouth

is shy to a fork at all.

Y'all hold it down.

I'm goin' to make a bank run.

Say now, lover.

Lookin' like a piece o' red velvet cake,

so nice and sweet.

Is your body named Visa?

'Cause it's everywhere I wanna be.

Why don't you get some business?

I got some business.

I'm shootin' footage for my music video.

If you want, you can come be in it.

Come shake a little somethin'.

Let me guess, you probably

want me to wear a bathing suit

or some tight booty shorts

with a fishnet halter top, right?

You ain't gotta wear no fishnet.

You could just wear a T-shirt.

Just as long as you

don't mind gettin' it wet.

- What's that you're listenin' to?

- Bach.

Are you listenin' to Pac, too?

That's what I listen to.

Bach... as in Johann Sebastian.

Classical composer.

He the one look like the old dude

on the oatmeal box, right?

Yeah. That's the one.

Why you listen to that boring stuff?

It's not boring. It's art.

Dang.

Well, you got yo' art...

...and I got mine.

Now that's a money shot right there.

Let's hat up, y'all.

Cracker Barrel "bring-a-friend"

gon' be over!

I'm drivin'.

Y'all gon' be too full to walk back.

Is that a purse?

Nah. It's a man bag.

A man bag?

Yeah, a man bag.

It's like the hottest new accessory

in men's fashion.

You got some man lipstick

in that bag, James?

They done took metrosexual too far.

- Darnelle, you wanna come?

- I gotta stay and watch Vanessa.

Lynn, you comin'?

No, I'ma hang out. I'll be fine.

A'ight. I'ma bring you

back somethin' anyway.

Them girls don't like me

so much, do they?

They don't even know you.

How do you get to know someone

without trying to get to know someone?

Like askin' 'em to lunch?

I mean, well, some folks

just feel comfortable

kickin' it with people they

have somethin' in common with.

That's just racial profilin'.

That's all that is.

When I worked

in my mama's shop in Blue Ridge,

I did black, white, polka-dotted hair.

It don't matter.

Well, this ain't your mama's shop

in Blue Ridge.

This is the SWATS, the ghetto.

And you need to show people

that you tryin' to fit in, girl.

I mean, look the part.

I'm not followin'.

Okay, Lynn, look,

it is all about the visual, okay?

You could be

the best hair stylist up in here,

but can't nobody tell by lookin' at you!

Girl, presentation... is the key.

Presentation?

What do you suggest?

Just wait and see.

Just trust me.

Miss Gina! I've been seein'

everything you have been doin'

around here with the beauty shop,

and the shop is fabulous, honey!

- Thank you, hon.

- But if you wanna let these divas have it,

you need one of my handbags

for the runway,

because it's spring,

and you don't want to be caught in suede.

- That is cute.

- Yes, Miss Thing, honey.

And the pink,

you gotta have your pink.

It's spring, girl.

Push, push, fierce! It's fierce!

You always gettin' me started out here.

- Come on, now, Chris.

- Girl, honey.

- Better work it.

- I'm gonna work it, girl.

- I'll catch you.

- I'll catch you.

- Now, push, baby.

- Push, diva, and catch it, honey.

I know that's right! I done talked to you

about slammin' in front of my shop!

...if you're gonna let

these girls have it, diva!

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