Beauty Shop Page #7

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Oh, my God.

Hi, Gina!

You like it?

Isn't it cute?

And don't look over here, honey.

Darnelle did that.

- It look good, right?

- It sure do.

- Right?

- Right.

I just said,

"When in Rome..."

Don't shake that baby loose.

Oh, Lord. Don't do that or we gon' get

indecency charges up in here.

See. I'm not one of these

so-called salad-chompin' sistahs

that weighs 52 pounds

with a wet T-shirt on

I got hips, thighs and don't discriminate

against pies, you feel me?

But. Ladies. Y'all with this gettin'

your stomach stapled just to lose weight?

That ain't good

Y'all know damn well that ain't no staples

in the stomach gonna stop you

from poppin' one o' yo' mama's

famous biscuits in the mouth

Am in line?

Hotlanta. You know Helen's

keepin' it real with you

Holler back at me.

I'll holler.

Holler!

Be quiet, y'all.

Oprah's on.

- Where you think you goin'?

- I will be right back, okay?

I'll be right back.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

- Gimme some of that thug love.

- Thank you for comin' to see me.

What's happenin' with ya?

How ya livin'?

Oh, man!

I got in some trouble,

and Gina loaned me this money,

so she got me workin' it off

in her salon.

They got you twisted, huh?

Come on, get with the money train

and let's ride.

Money train?

- I got a plan for you, Shorty.

- Oh, hell, yeah.

They'll be a'ight.

- Can we go shopping?

- I hear that.

I got somethin' for you, too.

Word for today is "chutzpah"

it is... if you don't... do you know that word?

- Who keeps unplugging this?

- It is a Yiddish word that means...

Amazing grace

Shut up, Josephine!

Dang! Are y'all havin' a slumber party?

Y'all didn't invite me?

- Willie, now is not the time!

- A'ight then.

Hey, but I just came by here to tell ya

that I saw that inspector dude

over there at the barber shop.

Damn! Like I need somethin' else

to be worried about.

Look, just hold him off, okay?

I'll be right back.

- I got that, Miss Gina.

- Go on over there with Auntie Lynn.

Go on, go on, get...

come up outta here. Go ahead.

Come on, please be home, Joe.

I can't believe this.

Excuse me, sir,

you wanna buy some candy bars?

- No, thank you.

- I got Kit Kat, Mars, Snickers.

Come on, kid, not tonight.

Please let his sarcastic ass be here.

Please be there,

please be there, please be there.

I need your help.

Okay, let me grab a shirt.

I got... I got cherry, apple.

Okay, well, how 'bout you buy

some candy, right?

And I don't tell the fellas right here

that you got a Rolex in that briefcase.

I don't have a...

All right.

You say you got Blow Pops?

- Blow Pops.

- Every flavor, dawg.

- Okay, I'll have a cherry.

- Five dollars. Okay, yeah.

- You kinda broke.

- All right.

All right, Joe!

Oh, my God!

Thank you, Joe. You saved me.

The generator is only

going to hold for a while.

You need to get this place fixed.

I will.

- I just... I have to find the money to do it.

- You'll pay me later.

I'll help you out.

Bye, ladies.

Bye, Joe.

Miss Norris.

What, are we the only shop

in Atlanta you like to harass?

When Miss Angeline owned this place,

I ain't never seen y'all up in here.

I'm just doing my job.

All right, look,

the generator is just temporary,

but I have an electrician,

he's coming on Monday,

he's gonna rewire

the whole place for me.

It's all very nice, very nice,

but there's a new state regulation

that says all hairdryers

of this capacity

have to have

their own independent wall plug.

This is a new regulation.

Well, how the hell

am I supposed to know about it?

I just told you.

That's how.

I just told you.

That's how.

Get up to speed, Miss Norris.

One more of those... closed for good.

Ladies.

A thousand dollars?!

I mean, it's like I take two steps forward

to get knocked three steps back.

Can you go down to the bank

and ask 'em to increase your loan?

Ask for a increase? I'm barely

keepin' up with the payments I got now.

I mean, somethin'

gotta turn around for this thing,

otherwise, it ain't lookin'

too good for the shop.

No, Gina.

Now, we can do somethin'.

I got a little bit stored away.

We can have a garage sale.

I mean, how much do we need?

Oh, sh*t!

Excuse me, Lord.

We need Jesus.

Hey, y'all.

In before dawn.

Good night, Gina.

- Gina, did you tell her?

- No, I ain't tell her.

I swear Mama stay mad at me.

I wonder why.

What happened

to "I'll be right back"?

My bad, Gina.

Glen just came down from New York,

and I hadn't seen him.

Girl, he has his own record label,

and he wants me

to be on his next album.

You can't even sing.

A'ight. Look at this.

What's this?

That's the bail money that I owe you.

Glen gave me some cash,

so now we even.

I don't have to work

in the shop no more.

What'd you do to get that money?

Now, Gina, come on, please!

You know I don't get down

like that, okay?

But, look, if a dude wanna pay my bills,

I'm gonna let him pay my bills.

You know what? Shut up, Darnelle,

'cause you sound real stupid right now.

Okay? You just lazy.

You lazy and you wastin' your life.

And you wastin' my time!

Why don't you use

your little money to go buy a clue?

Stacy, I don't understand.

Joanne Marcus

was supposed to be here at 10:00.

And this is not a coffee shop.

If you want to eat, you eat in the back.

Doughnuts!

You killin' me, D.

Come on, now.

If you change your mind and you

don't want any, they'll be in the back.

And I'll even restock

the shelves while I'm at it.

Joanne Marcus!

Terri, where'd you find her?

Look at you!

Oh, why not? Everyone else is.

You grew.

Yes, I did.

Eight thousand a pop.

Had my nipples done, too.

You wanna feel them?

Maybe later.

I ran into Joanne

down at Saks and told her

how wonderful your new place was

and dragged her down to see you.

And not a moment too soon.

Girl, what you doin' with that hair?

I know.

My hair misses you, Gina.

Well, your timin' is good.

My chair is open.

Girl! I got the same purse.

Did you get yours from Bernard

at the Piggly Wiggly in Decatur?

Piggly Wiggly?

Yeah. He sells thongs, too.

He works here?

That he does.

Gina, is that monkey-fish cat-bread lady

gonna be here today?

B*tch.

So, if you had to take a wild guess,

how many grams of fat

would you say

are in a plate of your greens?

Baby, my greens is all fat.

Matter of fact, I found every fat

you could find to put in my greens.

I got fatback, salt pork,

Vienna sausage, ham slices,

pork chop, pork rinds,

and I got bacon bits in these greens.

- Talk dirty to me!

- That's right.

Say it with me. "Fat is good."

- Fat is good.

- That's right. Sho nuff is!

- You should cater.

- Baby, franchise. Think big.

Please tell me you have some

of that magic potion hair stuff for me.

You know I do.

Some o' your magic what-what?

It's not no magic.

It's just some conditioner

that I mix up in my kitchen. What?

Mix up in yo' kitchen?

What is it? Hair crack?

The stuff is great.

They should be sellin' it in stores!

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