Beavis and Butt-Head Do America Page #4

Tammy reaches her next passenger.

TAMMY:

Hi, we're serving dinner. Our selections

tonight are chicken piccata or seafood

gumbo...

BEAVIS (O.S.)

Piccata? Piccata! Picattatta tatta!

Tammy moves forward, leaving Butt-Head standing there. In the

background, we see Beavis starting to quake, on the verge of

Cornholio mode.

PASSENGER:

Does the gumbo have corn in it?

ANGLE ON BEAVIS:
Turned, facing the cabin, T-shirt pulled over his

head in full Cornholio mode.

BEAVIS:

I am Cornholio! I need picatta for

my bunghole!

TAMMY:

You'll have to wait your turn sir.

BEAVIS:

Are you threatening me? My bunghole

will not wait!

Beavis starts to wander down the aisle.

ANGLE ON CURTAIN TO FIRST CLASS CABIN. Beavis enters. From the

other side, SOUND of screams. We hear several CALL BUTTONS being

pressed.

ON BUTT-HEAD. He approaches Tammy from behind. She ignores him.

BUTT-HEAD

Uh, I got a beer. Want some? Huh huh.

ANGLE INSIDE THE COCKPIT.

The PILOTS are relaxed and settled in when the door to the cockpit

slams open. Beavis is in the doorway SCREAMING.

BEAVIS:

Bargarajjjaaaahhh!!! I am Cornholio!!

The pilots SCREAM. The copilot jumps up so fast he causes coffee

to spill everywhere, including on the captain's lap. The captain

then jumps up, hitting the controls and SENDING THE PLANE INTO A

NOSE-DIVE.

ON BUTT-HEAD

In the back of the plane standing next to Tammy. He starts to take

a sip of beer. The nose-dive of the plane causes Butt-Head to go

FLYING TOWARDS THE FRONT OF THE PLANE.

BUTT-HEAD

AAAAAHHH!!! Huh huh. AAAAHHH!!!

Butt-Head bounces all overthe plane and then gets tangled up in

the curtain that separates first class and coach. It tears off,

and he continues to fly forward.

COCKPIT:

The captain is desperately trying to regain control of the plane.

Butt-Head slams into the cockpit, landing on the control panel

facing the captain.

CAPTAIN:

Get the hell out of the cockpit!

BUTT-HEAD

Huh huh, you said...

CAPTAIN:

NOW!!!

The captain throws Butt-Head back behind him and pulls the plane

out of the dive.

EXT. LAS VEGAS AIRPORT - EARLY EVENING

The plane lands.

INT. COCKPIT DOOR - EARLY EVENING

The flight attendants, shaken, smile at a line of people

deplaning. The people are white with fear, some covered with

flecks of spilled food and other matter.

ATTENDANTS:

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

They grow silent and still as B&B pass by. Beavis takes the T-

shirt off his head, coming down from Cornholio.

BUTT-HEAD

Huh huh huh. That was cool.

INT. TERMINAL/ARRIVAL GATE - DAY

Arriving passengers are greeted. A family is reunited. Two

businessmen walk up to limo drivers holding cards with their

names. A reunited couple hugs.

B&B look around in confusion.

BUTT-HEAD

Uh, huh huh, this is Las Vegas?

BEAVIS:

Yeah, heh heh. I thought there'd be

casinos and lights and stuff.

People greet and walk away. The place starts to clear out.

One limo driver is left standing. He wears sunglasses and holds a

sign that reads:
Beavis and Butt-Head.

B&B look around. Except for the driver, they're alone.

BEAVIS (CONT.)

Hey Butt-Head, why's that guy holding

a sign?

BUTT-HEAD

Uh... maybe he's blind... Huh huh, check

this out.

B&B go up to him. Butt-Head turns around, drops his pants and

hangs a "B.A." at the guy.

B&B

Huh huh huh huh huh huh huh.

DRIVER:

Ah, excuse me. You wouldn't know where

I can find these guys, would ya?

He indicates the sign. Butt-Head turns around and pulls up his

pants. They look and try to read:

BUTT-HEAD

(reads)

Uh, B...A...U... No, uh, V...

BEAVIS:

(reads)

Uh... Buuuuut. Boot. Someone named boot.

BUTT-HEAD

(realizes)

Huh huh. This says Beavis.

BEAVIS:

And Boot-Head.

BUTT-HEAD

That's Butt-Head. Don't you get it,

Beavis. These dudes have the same name as

us.

BEAVIS:

Yeah, we should party.

The limo driver rolls his eyes and walks away.

DRIVER:

This way, sirs.

B&B follow the driver away. Beavis looks around.

BEAVIS:

So where's those guys?

EXT. MUDDY'S MOTEL ROOM - DAY

HARLAN and ROSS, the two dumb-looking rough-necks that stole B&B's

TV are standing outside Muddy's motel room. Harlan knocks on the

door.

ROSS:

Where the hell is he?

HARLAN:

You sure this is the right place?

Harlan looks through the window and sees the shattered TV. No

one's there.

Muddy's four-by-four SQUEALS into the lot and skids to a stop next

to Harlan and Ross' van. Muddy gets out, looking really drunk now.

HARLAN (CONT.)

You Muddy?

MUDDY:

(slurring)

You the cops?

ROSS:

Uh, no. Earl sent us. You know, to take

care of your wife...

Muddy grabs Ross by the collar.

MUDDY:

What the hell?!... What about those other...

ROSS:

Huh?

Muddy tosses Ross to the sidewalk and starts back to they four-by-

four.

MUDDY:

Dammit!!! She did it to me again!!!

HARLAN:

Hey, I noticed your TV was broken. You

wanna buy a new one?

Muddy gets in the four-by-four and starts it.

MUDDY:

I'm gonna go to Vegas and kill all

three a' them!

Harlan and Ross seem momentarily confused.

Muddy revs the engine, peels out backwards HITTING THE FRONT OF

THE VAN. This causes B&B's TV and some other loot to spill out the

back onto the sidewalk.

Ross starts to pick it up.

HARLAN:

Just leave it. Worthless piece o' crap.

ROSS:

Yeah, really. We gotta start stealin'

from rich people.

EXT. LAS VEGAS - DAY

MONTAGE SONG BEGINS.

Note:
I would like this to be a well-known band (Red Hot

Chili Peppers) doing their best imitation of a modern Las

Vegas lounge act. I think a song like "What Am I Gonna Do

With You" by Barry White or something obnoxious like

"Bicostal" by Peter Allan would be cool. Or maybe Sinatra's

"You Make Me Feel So Young" would be best.

The car passes by major hotels and tourist sights, finally pulling

up to a big luxurious hotel and casino.

INT. HOTEL/CASINO - DAY

Establishing shots. Excitement. Gambling tables going on forever.

ON THE LOUNGE BAND playing the song we've been hearing. They

should vaguely resemble the actual band doing the song.

PAN DOWN rows of slot machines.

PAN ACROSS DEALERS handling cards and chips.

DOLLY RIGHT UP TO B&B, staring in utter awe.

REVERSE ANGLE REVEALS: They're staring at a huge Roman statue of a

bare-chested woman.

Their faces are blank. They're seeing God. Finally:

BUTT-HEAD

Beavis. This is what it's all about.

BEAVIS:

(speechless)

Heh heh. Yeah.

EXT. VEGAS - DUSK

Lights are popping on.

Billboards and signs are lighting up.

The whole strip is coming alive. Pure excitement.

INT. HOTEL/CASINO - DUSK

ON B&B, still staring at the statue.

B&B

(in awe)

Huh huh huh huh huh.

A security guard comes and drags B&B away.

ON THE LOUNGE BAND, continuing the song we've been hearing.

INT. B&B'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

The door is opened by a bellboy.

BELLBOY:

I'm so sorry about that little

misunderstanding. We didn't know you

were registered guests. Here's some

playing chips compliments of...

Rate this script:1.0 / 2 votes