Because I Said So Page #3

with you, okay?

You're a very charming guy,

irresistible, in fact.

And that's why I know you

would be a horrendous choice

because I'm not looking for a

great affair for my daughter.

You know, like, gorgeous musician

who's gonna break her heart.

I'm looking for

a life partner.

That's great. Thanks.

Yeah, no, I love being reduced to a

cultural clich. That's just terrific.

Because only musicians

break people's hearts. Wow.

Uh...

It's not the only place

I have them.

Well, look,

you're a great guy.

I hope you have a great life.

But I have to do

what's best for my daughter.

Yeah, of course you do,

but maybe you don't know

what's best for your daughter.

I beg your pardon?

Maybe you do.

Maybe I do.

Nice to meet you, Daphne.

Pleasure. Pleasure.

Here we are.

Almost here.

Yeah, we've landed. We're

in heaven. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Look. Oh, God.

Mil, look at this.

Mom, it's polka dots. It's so Minnie

Mouse. I don't even know if I like it. Do I?

I'm hearing you hate it.

Me, too.

Oh, please, just try it on.

Why?

Because I said so.

Honey, look,

it might surprise you.

Anyway, you look beautiful in dresses.

In fact, you know what I think?

I think that you should wear it

to that catered affair on Sunday.

To work? Mom,

I spill things all the time.

Oh, come on, just try it on.

All right.

Okay. That's incredible.

It's not really me at all.

What are you talking about?

It is totally you.

Well, it's sort of

more you in a way.

You know what it is, it's kind of

Aunt Jemima meets Betty Crocker.

You know, that's ridiculous.

Come on, sweetie,

you know what I'm going to do?

I made up my mind.

I'm going to get it for you.

No, no, no. You're not

getting me this dress.

I don't even like it

and it's absurd for work.

No.

Hello.

Excuse me.

These meatballs

are my mom's recipe.

Fantastic, I recommend

everybody try some.

I love that shade of orchid.

Uh-huh.

Thank you, Matisse.

The chicken satay has got a really

unique flavor. What'd you use?

It's cumin. I'm so sorry,

I can't really chat right now.

You guys, the chocolate

waterfall's not in the right spot.

Oh, no, we can't have that.

You know what? Let's just go ahead

and just shift everything over

so it frames the temple doors.

Thank you.

Yeah. That's the perfect spot.

So, you like the building?

I actually think

it's a little cold.

I'm Jason Grant.

I'm the architect.

Milly. Nice to meet you.

Come on, Mom.

Pick up the phone.

Oh, Daphne. Here we go. Hello.

Oh, Mom, hi, it's me.

I have to tell you the

most amazing thing happened.

This guy at work

asked me out.

He did?

Yes, he's so cute.

Mom, he's an architect. We're

gonna go out Saturday night.

Oh, you are? I'm just so

excited. I'm so excited.

Milly, well, that is really great,

sweetie. That is so darn great.

It's great, right?

Mom, he's so cute, I can't even

believe that it's happening to me.

And he loved the polka dots.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah?

Thank you Mom. Yes.

Well, honey, it's just,

I guess, dumb luck.

You're the best. I love you.

Okay.

Bye.

Bye.

Coop, come on!

Yep.

Hello, Jason, this is Bond.

James Bond. Call me.

I'm hearing rave reviews.

All right, I just pulled up.

I'm walking in.

It's okay. Don't worry.

I'm here, I'm here.

Sorry, sorry.

No, no, they're not angry.

They're not... Hold on. Sorry.

They're just... They're

probably hungry or something.

Feed them the spring rolls

from the Adams wedding

and the sauce

from the Levy wedding.

All right, I'm walking in.

Okay, bye.

There's a lot of static

out there.

You can say that again.

There's a lot of static

out there.

You know it's caused by a

lack of humidity in the air

that causes an imbalance of the

positive and negative charges.

You know, ice cream is known to cut

the static cling in 98% of most cases.

I love ice cream,

but I'm really late to work.

And I'm so sorry.

Nice tattoo, though.

What flavor?

Why don't you get me

your favorite?

Why don't I get your favorite?

Okay.

I'll have the Fudgsicle.

Oh, no, no. The Dreamsicle.

Wait. Is that

the tall rainbow one

that's really embarrassing to

eat, but it's really, really good?

Okay. Never mind.

I will have the Dreamsicly one

that has the green wrapper

with the Japanese writing

on it.

Thank you.

I'm really beginning to feel like

I'm never going to meet anyone

and it's making me

feel hopeless.

Well, as I've said before, Stuart,

Sheila was a huge loss, but that was 1993.

Oh, it's still so fresh.

This makes me feel like

when I was in the 2nd grade,

and I walked around with a booger in

my nose all day and nobody told me.

Why didn't they tell me?

Well, more to the point, why didn't

Sheila tell you she was unhappy?

Oh, God, this is making me

feel nauseous.

Maybe I should change

my appointment time

from Thursdays at 3:00

to Mondays at 1:
00.

No, Stuart,

we've tried that before.

You had Fridays at 1:00

and Tuesdays at 11:00.

It really didn't help

your hypoglycemia.

Now let's focus

on where we ended last time.

Meeting new people,

joining an adult-education

class or a book club.

I did go to an

Internet dating service.

Good for you.

That's very brave.

It was a nightmare,

Dr. Wilder-Decker.

It made me want to kill myself,

even more than the last time.

Wow. Well, what triggered

those feelings, Stuart?

This mother put an ad out looking for a

mate for her daughter and I answered it.

A mate for her daughter?

Stuart, some people

really shouldn't have kids.

I guess I didn't pass the test because

she made me feel about this big.

Well, I wouldn't worry

about that, Stuart.

Imagine how screwed up

any daughter of hers would be.

And then when I pressed her as to why

I couldn't meet her precious daughter,

do you know what she said? I

really hear it didn't go well.

"Because I said so.

That's why. "

Mother, how could you? When

are you planning on telling her?

Well, why does

she need to know?

I mean as long as she's happy,

that's all that's important.

And, my goodness, who knows?

This architect could be

the real magilla.

As I've always said,

"God couldn't be everywhere, and

that is why he made mothers. "

What? That was on

a Hallmark card we gave you,

and Milly thought

it was too corny.

Don't you dare tell her, Maggie, or you

and I are gonna have some serious issues.

Well, we already have

some serious issues, Mom.

Always so dramatic.

Mother, this is like 6th grade

drama club. Speak English.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, hi, honey.

Oh, Mom.

I was just in the neighborhood

and I thought I'd drop by.

Okay, Mom. Please,

you have to start calling me.

I have a date that's

on his way over right now.

Oh, but Milly,

you look so beautiful.

Are you sure you want to

wear that dress, though?

It was such a hit the first time. I know,

but don't you think you ought

to mix it up a little bit?

What for? Well, okay, you know, you're right.

You're right. It looks perfect

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes