Bedtime Stories Page #4

- [Knocking]

- [Barry] Come in.

- [Skeeter] Mr. Nottingham, sir?

- [Barry] Uh, the telly won't turn on.

[Skeeter] It won't? Well, let me just

take a... tallyho at it, OK?

I'll just flip this light on.

No, no, no, no!

Absolutely not!

I'm fighting a cold here.

I must stay in the dark

whenever possible.

Do you realize

germs can reproduce

Oh, OK. Here we go,

nice and dark again.

- The germs are confused.

- Come towards me.

OK. It's got to be

around here somewhere.

- [Skeeter shouts]

- [Crashing]

[Barry] For heaven's sake.

I'm so sorry, sir.

I just can't see a thing.

- To your left, there.

- Oh!

[Skeeter] There's the TV. So how's the,

uh, new hotel coming, sir?

Oh, very well. Still dealing with the

city on building permits and whatnot.

Uh-huh.

I can't tell you the secret theme.

It's so good, we don't want

anyone to steal it.

- I hear you, sir.

- OK, I'll tell you.

Come along, sit down. Please.

Great.

[Barry] Ready?

Rock and roll.

Vintage vinyl.

Music memorabilia in the lobby.

Oh, OK. Like, uh, like the Hard Rock?

- The What What?

- The Hard Rock Hotel.

They've been using

that theme for, like, years.

Get Kendall Duncan

up here straightaway, please.

[Violet] What a perfect

little powder puff.

[Squeaks, purrs]

Thank you.

So, Patrick, truth or dare?

Truth?

How old were you the first time

you kissed a girl?

Patrick never kissed a girl.

Girls are bis-crusting.

Except for Trisha Sparks.

Ooh, is that a girl in your class,

you little Romeo?

[Jill] Hey, guys.

Hi, Aunt Jill, did you

get the note we left you?

Yes, I did.

And, uh, now we have to get you guys

ready for school. So, come on.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Oh, hey. You're, uh...

- Uh-huh. Here's your fat mouse.

- It's a guinea pig, but...

And you, young man...

I want to hear all about this little

Trisha Sparks next time I see you.

Trisha Sparks is

two years older than you.

She's hot.

I'm very disappointed in you, Kendall.

We almost made an apocalyptic mistake.

This rock and roll idea

of yours is old hat.

Well, sir, I had every intention

of putting our own spin on it.

Do you know what, Skeeter?

I'm starting to get a fuzzy recollection

of something I said to your father.

In fact, I am going to give you a shot.

If you can come up with a better theme

than Kendall does,

I'll let you run the new place instead.

[Kendall laughs] Oh, sir.

Don't you think this is perhaps

a little too much of a cruel joke

to be playing on somebody as...

well, the, the maintenance guy?

- No, I don't.

- [Kendall] No.

Mr. Bronson has been working

for this company for 25 years.

I'm beginning to think I may have

seriously underdemeciated him.

[Kendall] I'm sorry.

"Underdemeciated"?

Precisely. You can both present your

ideas at my birthday party this weekend.

Thank you, Kendall.

That is all.

Mr. Bronson, the television,

if you would.

Oh, and do watch out

for the germ vaporizer.

- [Crash]

- [Shouts]

[Falco:
Rock Me Amadeus]

[Falco:
Rock Me Amadeus]

[Skeeter] The best day of my life!

[Skeeter sings with radio]

Amadeus Amadeus

Amadeus Ow! Amadeus

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus

Ooh, rock me Amadeus

- Amadeus Amadeus

- [engine revs]

[Turns radio off]

Whoa. I like your car, pal.

Hey, thanks, champ.

You know what they say.

You want to be the best,

you got to drive the best.

Hey, uh, not to get personal,

but what's a sweet ride

like that cost, anyways?

You know what? Actually it's

surprisingly affordable.

Yeah?

If you saved every paycheck you

earn for the rest of your life

and then multiply it by ten, you

could probably buy my muffler.

Ah-ooga!

Oh, you wanna drag race, do you?

[Splutters, backfires]

You win! Good job.

What?

This is spooky.

You've got to be kidding me!

Look at this. I'm losing all my candy.

How can you not see

a 50-foot trailer? Come on.

So you have to compete for your job with

Skeeter Bronson. You'll annihilate him.

Oh, I know. It's just

a little degrading, that's all.

[Phones ringing]

Thanks for being there.

I'll be there as long as

there's a there to be at.

[Growls]

[Barks]

[Clears throat]

Oh, hello, children.

We're looking for Skeeter Bronson.

- [Kendall groans]

- Oh, Mr. Bronson.

Yes, you'll find him in room 109.

- OK.

- Please, this way.

[Bugsy twitters]

- Oh, my God! Did you see that thing?

- Those eyes.

They were, they were staring

into my, my very soul.

- Hey, Uncle Skeeter!

- Hey!

- Just who I wanted to see.

- Hey, chief, here's Bugsy.

- Got him.

- Why do they have to stay here?

Because I'm on call tonight,

Jennifer.

It's Jill, actually, Scooter.

It is? OK, yeah...

You did not just do that.

I did. Watch.

I'm gonna do it again.

So, guys, anything weird

happen to you today?

I had a substitute teacher

with an eye patch.

Uh... that's a little weird.

I'm talking like big-time weird.

Maybe coincidence weird, uh...

...as in gumball weird?

We're not allowed to chew gum.

Of course you're not.

You guys want to go to sleep?

It's only 5:
30.

And we haven't had dinner.

Hmm. OK.

Room service!

[Man] So you've never

been skateboarding?

You've never played video games?

Mom says they rot your brain.

That's not true. I've been playing video

games my whole life, and look at me.

Yeah, maybe she's got a point.

You. You've never eaten bacon?

What's bacon?

Bacon is the juicy,

fatty part of the pig

right adjacent to the rear.

But delicious and tasty,

not how I just made it sound.

And this is the first hamburger

you've ever eaten?

- What's the verdict? What do you think?

- Life-changing.

- Mom's gonna kill us.

- No, she isn't.

First of all, she's never

gonna find out about this.

And second of all, she used to eat

plenty of hamburgers

when we were growing up

in this very room.

[Both] She did?

Looks like Bugsy's eaten a lot

of burgers in the last ten minutes.

Wow!

He keeps going like that,

we could make bacon out of Bugsy.

[Chirps]

He's kidding, Bugsy.

Take it easy.

- [Both laugh]

- OK. Let's get you carnivores to bed.

I got a, a new story

I want to lay on you.

What do you think

of cowboys and Indians?

Oh, yes, tonight's the night!

I just like cowboys and Indians

'cause of the conflict.

OK, once upon a time in the Old West,

OK, once upon a time in the Old West,

before room service was

even invented...

... there was a farm hand

named Jeremiah Skeets.

He was looking to get

ahead in the world,

but was having a problem

with his current mode

of transportation.

[Whinnies like a spluttering

engine, backfires]

[Jeremiah] Uh, that was my horse.

That wasn't me, everybody.

Someone once told Jeremiah

that if he wanted to be the best,

he'd have to ride the best.

You mind showing me your finest horse?

My ancestors believe horse spirit

come down from mountain

during time of fire, wind.

Many brave warrior

walk trail of moon bear...

OK. Look, I just want to see your finest

horse, not a whole thing there.

- Sorry. I can do it.

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