Beer for My Horses Page #2

Skunk?

You're a deputy.

Try to look like one.

Where is your gun?

Where's your badge?

Why do I try?

This sucks.

Staring at fertilizer tanks

on a Saturday night.

It's ridiculous.

Why don't you try complaining

a little bit more about it.

See if that helps.

You got something better to do?

- I did.

I was gonna stay home

and take off all my clothes.

Becky was gonna

take off all her clothes,

and we were gonna do

some other stuff

that didn't include looking

at fertilizer tanks with you.

How come Skunk never talks?

He speaks when he's got

something to say.

I've known him my whole life,

he's never said one word to me.

Yeah, he don't talk much.

But he is about the best cop

I ever knew.

I'm a-pretend

I didn't hear that.

How come he carries

that bow and arrow?

You mean, you don't know?

- No.

Skunk was orphaned

at a real young age,

and raised on a reservation

by a great Kiowa

Indian war chief.

I didn't know that.

Yeah. You know that, uh,

pilgrim-looking fellow

on the outside of

the Quaker Oats box?

You mean, the one that

looks like Barbara Bush?

Yeah, him.

- Yeah.

Skunk's great, great

grandfather killed him.

Really?

Wow...

And then he cooked him

in less than a minute.

That's bullshit.

It is bullshit.

But he was raised on

a reservation. I promise you.

Dang, Lonnie. God.

What?

You got a sour stomach?

I didn't do that,

Junior did.

Hey, you know what? I've noticed

something about Junior.

Whenever he farts,

something big's about to happen.

I wonder what

these boys doing out here

in the middle of the night.

You reckon it's those

fertilizer takers?

Fertilizer takers?

He's cutting the lock off

the gate.

He don't work here.

If he worked here,

he wouldn't do that.

Let's go, Lonnie.

Take your gun off safety

this time.

Got it, boss.

- Hurry up.

Let's do it.

Twenty-five gallons,

five minutes.

Twenty-five. Make it happen.

Let's go.

Freeze!

- Yeah. What he said.

Shoot them, pendejo.

Damn it, Lonnie.

Let's go. Let's go.

I wouldn't do that.

I give up.

Go. Hurry.

Watch these two.

I'll get these other guys.

You boys familiar with

good cop/bad cop?

Well, the good one just left.

Go, go, go.

What happened?

This is Rack.

All units in the vicinity,

be advised.

Rack, uh, this is Peabody.

What's your...?

What's your...?

Twenty. What's my 20?

Yeah. Your 20.

What's your 20?

I'm in the back of

an old black one-ton flat bed.

Request all available backup.

Lonnie and Skunk with you?

That's affirmative.

Uh, that is

all available backup.

You're under arrest.

Don't make me come in there.

Now you've pissed me off.

Boy, we sure nailed them.

That elbow of yours is lethal.

I'm-a tell you what,

you hit that guy so hard,

I will never risk you catching

me peeing in your coffee again.

You get the personal items off

the prisoner, file them for me.

You got it.

Well, boys, we're

gonna need all your stuff.

Watches, wallets.

Pictures of your boyfriends.

Y'all look like hell.

We might have to run out

and buy y'all some Bactine.

We got everything?

Well, fellas...

Hey, uh, I'm gonna need

that necklace.

Do you want this?

Yeah.

You cannot have this.

Do you understand

what I say to you?

This is familia.

You keep your necklace.

Because where you're going,

that necklace ain't gonna

be able to help you.

You boys sleep tight.

Don't let the bedbugs bite.

# Honey, let's get trashed

And throw it all away #

All right.

That figures. We're out

working, they're out drinking.

Oh, now, what are you three

stooges doing in here?

Yeah, shouldn't you girls

be on the stakeout?

Actually, where we should be

is over at your daddy's house,

kicking him in the potatoes

for having sex with your momma.

Hey, now, don't...

We always work more

than they do, sheriff.

Actually, they did have to

work tonight.

Norvel and Sandy

went out to Catfish Cove,

and they run into

Jay Boy Simpson.

That was one hell of a fight.

Hey, ain't that my bat?

Ow!

Well, it ain't love beautiful.

Ain't love beautiful.

Hey, Jake,

how about

a round of shots for the table

and three beers?

Table number seven.

What happened out there

tonight?

Oh, nothing big. High-speed

chased, little scuffle.

Rack?

Caught four guys

stealing fertilizer.

Three of them were just local

lowlifes for hire,

but this one guy, he's

a Mexican guy. I don't know.

He may be connected. He

seemed to be running the show.

Any idea who that might be?

We're working on it.

I'll know something soon.

Anybody hurt?

- Sheriff, this one guy

took one of Skunk's

broadheads right in the ass.

He's lucky my boy didn't put one

through his pump station.

Ain't that right, Skunk?

That damn bow and arrow

of yours.

Well, listen, here,

I wanna congratulate you boys.

A little toast.

- Here we go.

Whiskey for my men.

Beer for my horses.

# Let's get trashed #

# And throw it all away #

- # Throw it all away #

"And his sweat

was like drops of blood

falling on the ground."

"When he rose from prayer

and went back to the disciples,

"he found them asleep,

exhausted from sorrow."

"Why are you sleeping"

"he asked.

"'Get up and pray

so that you will not fall

into temptation.'"

Amen.

If you want salvation,

brethren...

Lonnie?

...you got to open your ears

and listen to the word

of the Lord.

Amen.

You've got to open your eyes

and look into the book

and learn to live

by the word of the Lord.

Amen.

You must wake up

and smell the Bible.

A... men.

Ain't that so,

Lonnie Freeman?

Amen.

Reverend Parker,

that was a wonderful message

you gave today.

Really?

What was your favorite part?

Oh, you know, the whole thing

about God being great.

And devil being an ass

and stuff.

I feel like a new man.

Oh, I bet you do considering

all the sleep you got.

Come on, Becky.

- Thank you.

Lonnie.

We'll see you tomorrow, Lonnie.

- Okay, buddy.

We missed Cammie this morning.

Is everything okay?

She's just fine. She's a

little bit under the weather.

You know, couples just don't

seem to stay together anymore.

It's kinda sad.

- Heh.

Yeah, it's sad, all right.

Well, I'll see you later,

preacher.

Rack?

- Yeah?

You can borrow my lawn mower

any time you need it, son.

Johnny Franks? Heh.

I thought youse in jail.

- Nope.

You staying out of trouble, boy?

Oh, yes, I am, Mr. Deputy, sir.

Yes, sir.

- Good.

You ain't.

Are you high, Johnny?

You screwed up, deputy.

Bigtime.

- Yeah.

You know that, uh...?

That Mexican guy you arrested?

His name's Tito.

And his brother,

he's gonna kill you.

Somebody's gonna kill me?

That's big news, Johnny.

- Thanks.

Here's some news for you.

You're not a rapper.

So pull your pants up.

- What...?

You know, you don't know

who you're messing with.

They'll kill you

if you're ain't careful.

You let me worry about that.

Boogie.

They'll kill you.

Hey, Lonnie.

- Hey, Rack. Heh!

That's my partner.

- Well.

Twist my nipples, look who's here.

- Hey, darling.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes