Beetle Juice Page #5

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...provide proof that there is existence

beyond death.

Coach, where's the men's room?

I'm not your coach. He survived.

Let me get something straight.

- What's our curfew?

- Get out of here!

Go on, get downstairs! Men's room!

Are you kidding? Can't you read signs?

I'll be right back.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

I didn't say anything.

Who are we kidding?

You've never had a bad idea.

Yeah?

This could all work out.

Home.

I'm not sure this is the right environment

for Lydia.

- Snakes. Ghosts.

- Shrimp.

You family types.

You've got other things to worry about.

Maxie Dean is coming tonight.

You have to sell these ghosts.

I can only do so much.

What are you going to do?

Viciously rearrange their environment?

I know as much about the supernatural

as I do about interior design.

"I am...

"...alone.

"I am...

"...utterly...

"...alone.

"By the time...

"...you read this...

"...I will...

"...be gone...

"...having jumped...

"Having plummeted...

"...off...

"...the Winter River Bridge."

I don't care what it takes.

You get the Deetzes out of there now!

Wait a minute.

What are you going to do?

To scare them.

I want to make sure

it's not some silly parlor trick.

I'll go first.

Not bad. Not bad.

Now you.

Go ahead!

You look great.

Go clean house and don't forget

the photographs and the handbook.

- Coach?

- What?

I don't think we survived that crash.

How did you guess?

Mr. And Mrs. Maitland?

Hello?

- Where are you?

- Dead.

Dead, dead, deadski.

Of course they're dead. They're ghosts.

No, I mean they're gone. Split.

Out of here. Afterlife kids.

- Deceased.

- Are you a ghost, too?

I'm the ghost with the most, babe.

You look like somebody I can relate to.

Maybe you could help me get out of here.

I gotta tell you, this death thing...

It's creepy.

Here's my problem.

I've got friends on the outside

I said I'd meet.

I have to be there in person.

So could you help me get out of here?

I want to get in.

Why?

You've probably got your reasons,

but I can't do anything from here.

If you could get me out, over there,

maybe we could talk.

But to do that you've got

to say my name three times.

What's your name?

I can't tell you.

Why not?

If I tell you, you'll tell your friends,

they'll call me all the time.

I've got to go to shopping centers for

openings, sign autographs, that sh*t.

It makes my life hell, okay? A living hell.

But maybe if you have a pen...

I know! Do you play charades?

- Yeah.

- Good.

Here we go. Ready?

Two words.

Right!

First word, two syllables.

Look.

Turn around.

I don't know what your signal means.

Look behind you!

Hi. How are you?

Beetle.

Got it. Now, two.

Breakfast? Orange? Orange beetle?

Beetle fruit?

Beetle breakfast?

Beetle drink?

Beetle juice?

- That's it!

- Your name's Beetlejuice?

You said it twice.

Just say it once more. Come on.

It was you, wasn't it? The snake.

You kids and your imagination!

Just say it!

No.

I want to talk to Barbara.

You don't need to talk to Barbara!

Just say it!

Adam, I can't go through with it.

I like that little girl.

But it's too late.

We have to go through with this.

No, we don't. Can't we rebel?

I want to be with Lydia.

Come on! Just say it!

No, don't say it!

Say it!

It's okay. It's us. What's going on?

Beetle...

He said if I let him out he would

take me to the other side to find you.

No, Lydia, we're dead.

- I want to be dead, too.

- No!

Being dead doesn't make things any easier.

Listen to her on this.

This is something we know a lot about.

And you can visit us anytime you want.

I have a feeling things are going

to be better from now on.

What do you mean, better?

We've decided we're going to invite

you and your family to stay.

That's right.

- Can't we bring Maxie up here?

- You've got a stake in this, too.

This is a presentation. It requires

a sense of occasion, a sense of style.

- It's big. How will we get it out?

- It's sectional.

- Wait, there are plugs.

- Careful!

Okay, go.

- What's going on?

- I don't know. I'll find out.

Be careful.

We've got Ed Cornwell

to head the wax museum...

...dedicated to 50 great moments

of the paranormal in Thanksgiving Park.

You must remember Ed.

He's the genius who gave us

the talking Marcel Marceau statue.

And D-Con is on its knees

to sponsor the insect zoo...

...in the old hardware store.

We can't lose!

Lydia, you decided to join us.

I just finished the initial presentation.

Now it's time to have a stretch...

...and to invite our friends

to meet your friends.

Are they here yet?

Charles, we're here to see some ghosts.

They're not here... anymore.

Every time she says that, the paint peels...

...and some wild creature tries to kill us.

But we have pictures, Lydia.

Really. They said they'd come back

and we could all live here...

...if you agreed not to tease them

or make them do stupid tricks.

She has a tendency to overreact.

Don't worry, we're not relying on her.

We have Otho.

- Are they still here?

- Otho, are they still here?

They're still here. They're just hiding out.

They probably feel guilty

about what they did to me.

They're sorry they didn't kill you.

I just want to see them.

Otho, can you do it?

- It'll be tricky, but I think I can handle it.

- No!

What am I worried about?

You can't even change a tire.

I'll be needing

something personal of theirs.

You'll have to go to the Goodwill.

Excuse me.

The wedding clothes.

The words:

"Hands vermilion

"Start of five

"Bright cotillion

"Raven's dive

"Nightshade's promise

"Spirits strive

"To the living,

let now the dead come alive"

Barbara?

"As sudden thunder pierces night

"As magic wonder mad affright

"Rives asunder man's delight

"Our ghost, our corpse

"And we rise to be"

Help!

Stop it!

"As flies the lizard

"Serpent fell

"As goblin vizard at the spell

"The buried, dead and slain rise again"

What's happening to them?

I don't know.

They're dying!

They're already dead.

They can't feel a thing.

- That's not true! Look at them!

- That's enough.

Can we stop this?

It's too late, Charles. I'm sorry.

Where are you? Help them, please.

Sure, I can help them.

But you've got to help me.

- What?

- I'm what you call an illegal alien.

I want out for good.

To do that, I've gotta get married.

These aren't my rules. Come to think of it,

I don't have any rules.

Come on.

Think of it as a marriage of inconvenience.

We both get something.

I get out. You get the most

eligible bachelor since Valentino.

- We're even.

- Okay, just help them.

Sure.

Beetlejuice.

It's show time.

Attention, K-Mart shoppers:

I'm back. I feel real good about myself.

You know what I mean? So...

...without further delay...

...welcome to Winter River!

Museum of Natural Greed!

A monument to the bored businessman.

Come a little closer.

Step right up! Test your strength.

Thank you.

Thank you! Whew!

That is why I won't do

two shows a night anymore, babe.

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