Beetle Juice Page #4

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Hey, hermano.

Yeah, there you go.

We're like peas in a pod.

You want someone out of the house.

I want to get someone out of your house.

Look! You've been to Saturn.

I've been to Saturn!

Whoa. Sandworms.

You hate 'em, right? I hate 'em myself.

Kids, what do I have to do

to strike a deal with you two?

- Don't you hate it when that happens?

- Let's go, Barbara!

Come up for a while.

We'll talk inside. Come on.

- I'm not staying.

- The place is a mess.

We have to get out of here.

Home! Home! Home!

How did you do that?

Hope you like Italian.

Where'd you go? Hey, where'd you go?

Hey! You've got to work with me here.

I'm just trying to cut a deal.

What do you want me to do?

Where are you?

You bunch of losers!

You're working with a professional here!

Nice f***ing model!

We can do this stuff on our own.

Besides, I'm not exposing

that little girl to that pervert.

We did call him,

and he seemed awfully pissed off.

I don't care. I've changed my mind.

We can scare them off ourselves... tonight.

I have an idea.

What you did with the place is wonderful.

Not me. Them.

So?

You like them.

I hope it wasn't yet another

of your dreary suicide attempts.

You know what they say about people

who commit suicide?

In the afterlife, they become civil servants.

Otho, I didn't realize

you were into the supernatural.

Of course! You remember.

After my stint with the Living Theater...

...I was one of New York's

leading paranormal researchers...

...until the bottom dropped out in '72.

Paranormal? Is that what

they're calling your kind these days?

Don't mind her. She's still upset that

somebody dropped a house on her sister.

Well, this looks really good.

I saw some ghosts.

- It's a private joke Lydia and I share.

- It's not a joke.

Yes, it is. Just today she tried

to convince me this house is haunted.

Kids! You know, I love them!

- Ghosts?

- In designer sheets, no less.

I'd like to propose a toast

to our intrepid friends...

...who braved the expressway

and two dozen tollbooths to be with us.

May your buildings go condo.

Lydia, favor us about your ghosts.

No! I am sick of that subject.

Delia, lighten up.

I would rather talk about...

That's cute, Delia.

Otho, are you doing this?

We did it!

Let's watch them scatter.

Any minute now they'll come

running out of that door screaming.

Any minute now.

It's me, Lydia.

They want you to come downstairs.

Delia says you can wear

any sheets you want.

It was like being in an amusement park.

Wham!

- I didn't know I could do the calypso.

- Who has more fun than us?

We're dealing with Tracy and Hepburn.

A very sophisticated pair.

They even appear in sheets.

Charles, why didn't you tell us

about this before?

We're not sure we want our secret out.

Everyone will want them for parties.

People will pay big money for this.

The Enquirer is offering $50,000

for proof of life after death.

This is it, Charles.

You can get Maxie Dean up here now.

- You think so?

- Sarah loves the supernatural.

She'll have him sprint up here

in his helicopter...

...if you can produce ghosts for her.

I should remind you that I'm Delia's agent.

I have lost money on her work for years.

If anything happened here, I shall handle it.

But not until I've seen real proof.

- What about this table?

- What do you call what just happened?

What money?

Don't you believe in my work?

Here's Lydia.

- Well?

- They don't want to come down.

Why not?

I think they were trying to scare you away,

and you didn't get scared.

They're dead.

It's a little late to be neurotic.

All right.

This was not a hallucination.

This was real.

We all experienced a super-powerful

paranormal experience and it was real.

Delia, you are a flake.

You have always been a flake.

If you insist on frightening people,

do it with your sculpture.

Drive carefully!

- I'm dead.

- Where do they hide?

- The attic.

- The attic's locked.

They're ghosts.

They can do what they want.

They do whatever they want.

Take us up there right now.

Fabulous! Otho Fenlock's

"Locked Door Ghosts!"

Probably committed suicide up there.

- I'm enchanted.

- In there?

- They must live like animals.

- It's locked. How did they get in?

Open this door, Dead People,

or we'll bust it down...

...and drag you out by the ropes

you hanged yourself with!

- They didn't commit suicide.

- It doesn't matter.

I can teach you something here.

Take the upper hand in all situations...

...or people, dead or alive,

will walk all over you.

Open up!

Where are they?

These ghosts are nice people.

I think we scared them away,

so let's leave them alone, all right?

It's the whole damn town.

I have never been so embarrassed.

Have they gone for good?

Dad, don't.

Mom, let's just go.

No ghosts here.

Come on! If they are in here,

I don't want to scare them away.

We're leaving now.

You can go about your business.

- What are we doing?

- Quick, quick, quick.

Oh, boy! You guys are really spooksters,

aren't you?

Now, let's turn on the juice

and see what shakes loose.

Otho, get Maxie on the phone.

We've really got something here.

We can turn this place into the world's

leading supernatural research center.

An amusement park. I'll do a presentation.

Lydia will bring the ghosts.

I can't bring the ghosts. They're not here.

- Otho, can't you do something?

- If I'm properly motivated.

What type of motivation do you require?

Why don't you leave them alone?

They didn't do anything to you.

We've come for your daughter, Chuck.

Stop! Stop!

- Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse!

- Oh, no!

Why are you doing this?

Leave me alone, all of you!

Great choice! We spend the next century

hanging out a window or doing tricks.

Maybe they'll leave now.

That snake was a nasty customer.

- He could've hurt somebody.

- But he didn't.

We've got them where we want them.

You losers! How dare you interrupt

a professional while he's working!

I'm not fond of Charles,

but you could've killed him.

I'm just doing my job!

I thought we had a deal.

It's okay. You know why?

I don't want to do business

with you deadbeats anyway, thank you.

The only one I think I can deal with

is Edgar Allan Poe's daughter.

- She understands me.

- Leave her alone!

Go ahead, make my millennium.

I'm feeling a little anxious,

if you know what I mean.

It's been about 600 years.

I wonder where an everyday Joe

like myself...

...can find a little action.

Yeah. Here I come, baby.

Hey, Adam, nice move!

- Why did you build that?

- I didn't.

Will you guys shut up and leave me alone?

I've got all this paperwork to do.

You two, come in. Sit down.

Get in here, both of you!

The whorehouse was my idea.

I want Betelgeuse out of the picture.

You two have really screwed up.

I heard you allowed yourselves

to be photographed.

You let Betelgeuse out

and didn't put him back.

And you let Otho take the handbook!

When?

Never trust the living!

We cannot have

a routine haunting like yours...

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