Before Midnight Page #7

JESSE:

Okay. All right, I have a question

for you Patrick. I think a lot of

people are feeling that way. You

know, that we're this kind of pleasure

obsessed, porn-addled materialists,

ceding our humanity to technology...

At the same moment that computers

are becoming sentient, right? So

what my question is: what is this

notion of self to begin with?

PATRICK:

It's written over the portals to the

Temple of Apollo at Delphi: It says

"Gnothi seauton", which means "Know

Thyself".

JESSE:

Yeah, but we're kind of 99% automated

already. Our personality - or this

thing we think of as ourself right it's

just a tiny fraction of what

the brain is doing, right?

STEFANOS:

Yeah.

JESSE:

Most of it's just automated body

function.

CELINE:

Okay.

43.

JESSE:

So then what is it we're actually

ceding?

CELINE:

(Interrupting)

If this notion of self is such a

small percentage of you, sweetie...

JESSE:

Yes.

CELINE:

How come I always hear so much about

it?

GROUP:

(Laughs)

STEFANOS:

Well, it's just like my penis. I

mean, it's not that big, it's a small

part of myself, but it needs a lot

of attention.

CELINE:

His too!

ANNA:

And how did you two meet?

ARIADNI:

You don't know?

ANNA:

What?

STEFANOS:

Well, you have to read Jesse's books.

CELINE:

Yeah, especially if you want to know

exactly what it's like to have sex

with me, read away.

STEFANOS:

Read away!

CELINE:

Oh, excuse me, Stefanos.

STEFANOS:

No, no. I mean it's well written.

44.

JESSE:

Thank you. We met about 18 years

ago. We kinda, sort of, fell in

love a little bit, and then we lost

track of each other and a decade

later we ran into each other.

CELINE:

No, no, no, we didn't run into each

other, sweetie-pie.

JESSE:

We didn't?

CELINE:

No. You wrote a book "inspired" by

our meeting...

JESSE:

Yeah, yeah...

CELINE:

And I read about it and went to look

for it.

ANNA:

That's pretty romantic.

JESSE:

It was really romantic.

CELINE:

Not really. Not really. He neglects

to mention he was married, had a

kid...

JESSE:

Details, details...

CELINE:

Yeah, that part was a disaster.

JESSE:

It wasn't a disaster. It was

inevitable.

CELINE:

Yeah. Okay. And the first time we

have sex without a condom, twins!

JESSE:

Yeah, one pitch, one homerun. Boom!

45.

CELINE:

And I've been chained to the sink

ever since! I'm sorry to say that,

but

ANNA:

It's not that bad, is it? The girls

are so beautiful.

JESSE:

Thank you.

CELINE:

They're cute.

GROUP:

(Laughs, Reacts)

CELINE:

Okay, no no, it has some upsides.

Let me tell you right now, Anna, how

to keep a man.

Anna nods.

CELINE (CONT'D)

You've gotta let them win at all the

silly little games...

JESSE:

Oh, okay.

CELINE:

... They like. When I met Jesse,

the first night we were playing

pinball, and of course I was

winning...

JESSE:

Is the foundation to our entire

relationship a lie? It is. It is.

CELINE:

... And at the last minute I let the

ball go down the middle. It builds

their confidence.

JESSE:

No, she can't beat me at one game,

not any game.

CELINE:

If I didn't let him win at every

game... we would never have sex.

(MORE)

46.

CELINE (CONT'D)

I mean, I'm sorry to say it, but

he's actually a closet macho. He

dreams of having a bimbo for a wife.

GROUP:

(Laughs)

CELINE:

Dreams!

JESSE:

It's my greatest aspiration. A bimbo,

that's it.

Celine changes her demeanor and voice, playing really dumb.

STEFANOS:

Whoa!

CELINE:

(Baby voice)

So...

STEFANOS:

Uh-oh.

JESSE:

Yes?

GROUP:

(OS, Laughing)

CELINE:

So you're a writer?

JESSE:

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

CELINE:

So you write like... books?

GROUP:

(Laughing)

JESSE:

I've written a few, sure. Sure,

yeah.

CELINE:

Wow. I've never met a writer before.

JESSE:

(Laughing Nervously)

Really. Yeah?

47.

CELINE:

You must be really smart.

JESSE:

Well, I - you know.

CELINE:

You know, I can't even write my own

name sometimes when I'm tired.

JESSE:

What kind of books do you like?

CELINE:

Well, I like stories with a meaning

behind them, like a really beautiful

love story...

JESSE:

Oh, sure, yeah.

CELINE:

You know, I read this book once,

"Romeo and..."

JESSE:

"...Juliet". Right?

CELINE:

Yeah!

JESSE:

Oh, yeah.

CELINE:

Wow, you know it!

JESSE:

It's very good, yeah. It's a play

actually, not a book. A play.

CELINE:

Oh, I thought it was a book based on

the movie.

JESSE:

No (

Laughs)

No, a play, yeah.

GROUP:

(OS, Laughing)

48.

CELINE:

Okay, it was a play. Wow. Well,

actually I didn't read the whole

thing because you know, sometimes I

have to keep up and read those

magazines to know exactly what is

going on in all those people's lives.

JESSE:

Well, that is important.

CELINE:

Okay. Well, you're very, very smart

and

(whispering)

I bet you have a gigantic penis.

JESSE:

Why am I finding myself so attracted

to this woman!

CELINE:

Yes, he is - calm down!

GROUP:

(Reacts)

STEFANOS:

Wow.

CELINE:

And that's the funny part of it!

The not-so-funny part of the closet

macho, okay -- is that today, after

we drop Henry off, he tells me that

even though I have an offer for an

amazing job, he wants me to throw it

all away and move to Chicago.

JESSE:

That's not what I said.

CELINE:

Yes.

JESSE:

I said I missed him. You were

expressing something you felt

conflicted about and I did the same.

CELINE:

So we can baby sit every other weekend

for his ex-wife! I mean hilarious.

49.

ARIADNI:

Hey, hey, hey! You guys stop it.

It must have been so hard saying

goodbye to Hank today, right?

CELINE:

Yeah, of course.

ARIADNI:

I mean, he's such an amazing kid.

ACHILLES:

Tell him I already miss my chess

partner.

JESSE:

Right away.

ARIADNI:

When Stefanos and I split up...

STEFANOS:

Yeah?

ARIADNI:

I'm getting full custody.

STEFANOS:

Oh. Well that's ok for a while

because me and my 20 year old

girlfriend will be a little

preoccupied.

GROUP:

(Laughs)

ARIADNI:

(laughter)

I love men.

STEFANOS:

And I love you.

ARIADNI:

Ok, I have a story that my husband

here loves and that's going tell you

everything you need to know about

masculine and feminine. Right?

Okay, ready?

JESSE/STEFANOS

Yeah.

50.

ARIADNI:

My mom used to be a nurse. So she

was there when people were coming

out of their comas.

STEFANOS:

Oh, that story. Yeah.

ARIADNI:

Listen! Listen.

STEFANOS:

I'm listening.

ARIADNI:

It's an interesting story.

STEFANOS:

I'm listening.

ARIADNI:

So she was the one to tell them,

"Hi, my name's Katerina. You're

coming out of a coma."

Stefanos is mouthing words behind her.

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