Behaving Badly Page #5

- Check this out.

Poole took this from me last year.

What's this?

Holy sh*t.

These are pictures from

the girls' locker room.

This is one of Nina.

What are you doing, Mr Stevens?

I'm just, uh, getting

out of suspension.

- What is that?

- 10 to 20 would be my guess.

I've never seen those

pictures before in my life.

Who said anything about pictures?

Well, I didn't take them.

And, I mean, who's to say

how long they've

actually been in there?

Could have been years.

This one looks an awful

lot like Emily Tolls,

and she's currently a junior.

Hey, how about I forget

all about today's little

gambling indiscretion?

How about you forget

that we even exist

until the end of the school year.

Rick and Billy who?

Stevens and Bender. Ow.

I'm gonna kill Carpenter.

If you don't stop chasing after

Nina, he's gonna kill you.

Yeah, but if I do stop, then

Malinauskas is gonna kill me,

because I can't pay

him 1,000 bucks.

Well, at least you got that

smoking hot picture of Nina.

I haven't even seen it yet,

and I already popped a chub.

I'm gonna burn it when I get home.

Burn it? Why?

It doesn't feel right

being able to see her

when she doesn't even know it.

What?

Besides, I'll be getting the

real thing soon enough.

Hey! What did Principal Poole

want to talk to you about?

Uh, he wanted our help

in drawing up the new school

policy on faculty fatalities.

Wait! What are you two

cornholers still doing here?

And because I figured he

could do better than that...

What are you fucktards

still doing here?

What are you fudge packers

still doing here?

Ah, who am I kidding?

He's borderline Cro-Magnon.

I thought Poole

suspended your asses.

For your information, they were

helping amend school policy.

And they were getting

ready to walk me home.

I'm coming for you.

- Oh!

- Butt sniffer.

Dick.

That poor nun.

I'll have to get better

at the whole tears thing

if I wanna be a priest.

So this, uh, this priest thing,

is it just for the

get-into-heaven-free card?

No, silly. I like helping people.

That's why I'm a candy-striper

at County General too.

I dunno, everybody could use

a little help from time to time.

You're hot. You don't

have to help people.

Well, somebody has to.

We all don't have our

own personal saints.

Besides, I want to be the first.

Like Hillary Clinton,

or Amelia Earhart.

Sally Ride.

I don't know, I want to be special.

I think you already are special.

Well, thanks for walking me home.

Anytime. I, uh...

I really like...

spending time with you.

- See you tomorrow.

- OK.

There's hope for me yet.

- Hey, Steven.

- Playing hooky, pussies?

Steven, you don't happen to know

how to say anything

in Latin, do you?

- Huh?

- Saved by his own stupidity.

Some dude called for you.

Something about a car.

Funny way to spell 'auto'.

- Yes?

- Mantas Bartuska?

It's Rick Stevens.

Oh, it's gonna take another week

before I fix your mother's car.

I want to know what wheels

would you like for a loan?

Loaner?

Father Krumins told me to get

you whatever car you want.

- Father Krumins? Anything?

- Anything.

Uh, well, my favourite

is an Aston Martin.

It will be there within the hour.

They're loaning me an Aston Martin.

Oh, my god! Oh, my god!

I got accepted to Stanford!

That's amazing. You're

gonna move out.

Yeah!

What?

Get a hard-on, break your dick

in half and f*** yourself.

- Two great things in a row.

- Wait, who's Aston Martin?

Knock yourself out.

Whoa!

I found my beat

It's in your sound...

When Nina sees you in this car,

she's gonna be all over you.

I'll curse the crowd...

Hey, can we get Slurpees?

Yeah.

- Really?

- No.

We've been living

with the lights out

Been moving in the night...

So, uh, do you have

any plans tonight?

Um, yeah, after Meals on Wheels,

I'm gonna go down to the shelter

and play with some

stray animals... why?

Oh, uh... no reason.

Do you have enough room back there?

- Well, I... Not really.

- Yeah, he's fine.

Don't worry about him.

What the...?

Pull over to the right

side of the road.

- Why are they pulling us over?

- I don't know.

But I bet it's fine.

Don't worry about it.

Are you aware this car is

registered to Mantas Bartuska?

Who?

He's only one of the most

notorious Lithuanian mafiosos

in the entire three-county region.

- This is a mobster's car?

- No, it was a loaner.

He's having my mom's car fixed.

Having the mafia fix

your mother's car?

- You are?

- No, no.

You remember, Father Krumins

hit me, you were there.

He sent me to Mr Bartuska

to have my car fixed, so...

Wait, wait, wait,

the Catholic Church

sent you to the Malinauskas

family's chop shop

to get your car fixed?

Oh, my god.

Mr Stevens, I have a question

I need you to answer.

OK.

How did Mantas Bartuska's body

end up in the trunk

of your mother's car?

What? I... I didn't even know

that Mantas Bartuska was dead.

I know nothing about this.

We nabbed you driving

his Aston Martin.

Explain that to me, please.

- Am I a suspect?

- Big time.

Normally, I wouldn't care about

the lowlife that got shot,

but Mr Bartuska was ready

to strike a plea deal

to give us the name of the

head of the Lithuanian mafia.

This guy, he's so elusive

and so secretive,

we don't even know his name.

But Bartuska had his name,

and was gonna give it to

me until this happened.

I don't know what your

real involvement here is,

but I know you're

guilty of something.

I don't... I don't know anything.

- Don't interrupt me!

- I...

Yeah.

Miss Stratton-Osbourne

is here for Rick.

- Dadgummit! Show her in!

- Who?

I've been retained to

represent Mr Stevens.

If you don't mind, I'd like a

moment alone with my client.

Cigarette?

I'm 17.

I guess you're wondering

why I'm here.

Father Krumins has a

favour to ask you.

Father Krumins has a

favour to ask me?

He requests that you

refrain from mentioning

that the church is the one that

referred you to Mr Bartuska.

- But I already did.

- Oh.

Well, tell them you were kidding.

- The church wants me to lie?

- Yes.

- Do you wanna get out of here?

- Yes.

I've been doing some research.

Is it true your dad is

on business in Vilnius?

Uh, I think so.

Do what I say, I'll have you

out of here within the hour.

Are you sure you can get me off?

Kid, I've gotten off more

guys than I care to remember.

How did you get the Aston Martin?

What Aston Martin?

If you don't tell me

how you got the car,

I'm gonna put you in

prison with an inmate

who will eat your genitals

off while you're sleeping.

Tell him the truth,

just like we practised.

Mr Bartuska gave it to me.

Why would Big Barty give you

a brand-new Aston Martin?

He said that it was a gift

in honour of my father.

What did your father do to earn

such a gift from a mobster?

Well, it's definitely not because

he's a kingpin in the

Lithuanian mafia.

Expect me to believe that this

loser's father is in the mob?

Draw your own conclusions,

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