Being John Malkovich Page #10

LOTTE (V.O.)

This is too good to be true.

CUT TO:

INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

A sweaty and spent Craig sneaks back into the bedroom.

He sees that the bed is empty.

CUT TO:

EXT. DITCH - NIGHT

With a gasp and a wail of release, Lotte pops into the

ditch. She is soaking wet and breathes heavily. She

just lies there.

CUT TO:

INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE'S KITCHEN - MORNING

Craig is hunched over a cup of coffee. The front door

can be heard to open. After a moment Lotte appears in

the kitchen doorway. She is caked with dirt. Craig

looks up at her.

CRAIG:

You were him last night, weren't you?

LOTTE:

(quietly)

Yes.

CRAIG:

And he was with her.

LOTTE:

We love her, Craig. I'm sorry.

CRAIG:

We?

LOTTE:

Me and John.

CRAIG:

Don't forget me.

LOTTE:

Well, you have the Maxine action

figure to play with.

Craig looks down at his coffee.

LOTTE (CONT'D)

I'm sorry. That was nasty.

CRAIG:

Life is confusing, isn't it?

LOTTE:

Sometimes we're forced to make

hard decisions.

(beat)

I'd like for us to stay together,

Craig. You know, platonically,

if that's possible. I truly value

our friendship.

CRAIG:

I feel that somehow my parents never

prepared me to make this particular

decision. Not that I blame them. How

could they know? Today's world is so

complicated.

(beat)

No. I have to go away now. I'm sorry,

Lotte. I'm so sorry.

CUT TO:

INT. CRAIG AND MAXINE'S OFFICE - MORNING

Craig enters with red-rimmed eyes. Maxine sits at her

desk, actually looking kind of radiant.

MAXINE:

You're late.

CRAIG:

Are you torturing me on purpose?

MAXINE:

(matter of fact)

I've fallen in love.

CRAIG:

I don't think so. I've fallen in

love. This is what people who've

fallen in love look like.

MAXINE:

You picked the unrequited variety.

Very bad for the skin.

CRAIG:

You're evil, Maxine.

MAXINE:

Do you have any idea what its like

to have two people look at you with

total lust and devotion through the

same pair of eyes? No I don't suppose

you would. It's quite a thrill, Craig.

Craig turns and walks out the door.

CUT TO:

INT. HALLWAY 7 1/2 FLOOR - CONTINUOUS

Craig hurries past a long line of fat people, all looking

eager, all clutching cash.

CUT TO:

INT. LESTER'S OFFICE - MORNING

Lester sits at his desk. The intercom buzzes.

LESTER:

(depressing switch)

Yes, my dear?

FLORIS (O.S.)

(intercom voice)

Someone names A Lot of Warts on

line two.

LESTER:

Thank you, Floris.

FLORIS (O.S.)

(intercom voice)

Think, Jew florist?

LESTER:

(pressing line 2)

Good morning, Lotte!

LOTTE (O.S.)

Dr. Lester, everything's falling

apart.

CUT TO:

INT. GUN SHOP - MORNING

Craig is at the counter buying a pistol.

CUT TO:

INT. JUICY-JUICE JUICE BAR - MORNING

Lester and Lotte sit at a table. They both have really

large glasses of carrot juice in front of them.

LOTTE:

I blew it, Dr. Lester.

LESTER:

You followed your heart, my child,

and that is not necessarily a bad

thing.

LOTTE:

But now we've lost access to Craig.

LESTER:

(laughs)

My child, I don't think its a great

mystery what Craig's up to.

CUT TO:

CUT TO:

INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY

Craig stands still and tense, with gun in hand. We hear

the front door unlock. Lotte enters. She does not see

Craig. He grabs her from behind as she passes. Lotte

screams. Craig holds the gun to her head.

LOTTE:

I'm your Goddamn wife. Once you vowed

to cherish me forever. Now you hold

a gun to my head?

CRAIG:

Yeah, well welcome to the nineties.

LOTTE:

Suck my dick!

CRAIG:

(slapping her)

Shut up!

Lotte is stunned. She feels the muzzle against her forehead.

She shuts up. Keeping the gun trained on Lotte, Craig

dials the phone. He hands the receiver to her. He holds his

ear to the receiver also.

CRAIG (CONT'D)

Tell her you need to see her.

LOTTE:

(to Craig)

You bastard.

Craig c*cks the pistol.

MAXINE (V.O.)

J.M. Inc. Be all that someone else

can be.

LOTTE:

(looking at Craig)

I have to see you.

MAXINE (V.O.)

Sweetie! Oh, but we can't. It's

business hours. I need to keep the

membranous tunnel open for paying

customers.

CRAIG:

(sotto)

Tell her, what the hell, close

early today, live dangerously.

LOTTE:

What the hell, darling. Close early

today, live dangerously.

MAXINE (V.O.)

Oooh, doll. I love this new

devil-may-care side of you. Alrighty,

I'll track down Lover-boy, and I'll

see both of you in one hour.

Exactamundo.

Maxine hangs up. Lotte hands the phone to Craig, who hangs

it up. Craig opens up the big cage where Elijah is housed,

and motions with the gun for Lotte to enter.

LOTTE:

(screaming)

Help! He's locking me in a cage!

Craig slaps Lotte hard. She looks at him, almost sadly.

NEIGHBOR:

Shut up!

PARROT:

Shut up!

CRAIG:

Lesson number one: Be careful what

you teach your parrot.

Craig tapes Lotte's mouth, ties her hands and feet. Elijah

watches him tie her. He becomes somewhat agitated, and

holds his stomach.

CUT TO:

INT. BROADHURST THEATER - DAY

Malkovich is rehearsing some business on stage. Maxine

watches from the house. She anxiously checks her watch,

then points to it so Malkovich can see.

MALKOVICH:

Tommy, can I take fifteen?

CUT TO:

INT. MALKOVICH'S DRESSING ROOM - DAY

Malkovich and Maxine are having sex on the make-up table,

against the mirror.

MAXINE:

Oh, Lotte... Oh, sweetie...

We now watch the scene from Malkovich's POV.

MALKOVICH:

Maxine...

CRAIG (V.O.)

I can't believe it. This is too

good to be true.

CUT TO:

INT. CRAIG AND MAXINE'S OFFICE - DAY

Craig is toweling himself off, hurriedly combing his

hair. Maxine enters.

CRAIG:

You're glowing again.

MAXINE:

A girl has a right to glow if

she wants. It's in the f***ing

constitution.

Maxine sits. Craig smiles to himself.

CUT TO:

INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE'S LIVING ROOM - EVENING

Craig is feeding the various caged animals. He puts two

plates of food in Elijah's cage. Lotte is ungagged and

unbound now. She eats as Craig slumps down next to the

cage, gun in hand.

CRAIG:

It was lovely being you being

Malkovich, my dear. I'd never seen

the passionate side of sweet Maxine

before, or her actual tits for that

matter. If only, I've been thinking

to myself, if only I could actually

feel what Malkovich feels, rather

than just see what he sees... And

then, dare I say it, if only I could

control his arms, his legs, his

pelvis, and make them do my bidding.

LOTTE:

It'll never happen, fuckface.

CRAIG:

Ah, but you're forgetting one thing,

Lambchop.

LOTTE:

What's that?

CRAIG:

I'm a puppeteer.

Craig picks up the phone and dials. He smiles as he

holds the receiver up to Lotte's face.

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