Being John Malkovich Page #12

Malkovich pushes himself away from the table and runs for

the exit. He passes the stage where a girl singer Malkovich

is singin sensuously into the microphone. She is backed by a

'40's style big band of Malkoviches.

SINGING MALKOVICH

Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich

Malkovich...

Malkovich flies through the back door.

CUT TO:

EXT. DITCH - DAY

Malkovich lands with a thud in the ditch. Craig is waiting

there with his van. On its side is painted "See The World

in Malk-O-Vision" followed by a phone number. Malkovich is

huddled and shivering and soaking wet.

CRAIG:

So how was it?

MALKOVICH:

That... was... no... simulation.

CRAIG:

I know. I'm sorry...

MALKOVICH:

I have been to the dark side. I have

seen a world that no man should ever

see.

CRAIG:

Really? For most people it's a rather

pleasant experience. What exactly did

you...

MALKOVICH:

This portal is mine and must be sealed

up forever. For the love of God.

CRAIG:

With all respect, sir, I discovered

that portal. Its my livelihood.

MALKOVICH:

It's my head, Schwartz, and I'll see

you in court!

Malkovich trudges off along the shoulder of the turnpike.

CRAIG:

(calling after him)

And who's to say I won't be seeing

what you're seeing... in court?

Cars whiz by Malkovich. Someone yells from a passing car.

MOTORIST:

Hey, Malkovich! Think fast!

Malkovich looks up. A beer can comes flying out of the car

and hits him on the head.

CUT TO:

INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Craig is feeding the animals. His gun is stuck in his pants.

He gets to Lotte's cage. She is bound but ungagged. She

looks haggard.

LOTTE:

Once this was a relationship based

on love. Now you have me in a cage

with a monkey and a gun to my head.

CRAIG:

Things change. Anyway, you gave up your

claim to that love the first time you

stuck your dick in Maxine.

LOTTE:

You fell in love with her first.

CRAIG:

Yeah but I didn't do anything about

it. Out of respect for our marriage.

LOTTE:

You didn't do anything about it out

of respect for the fact that she

wouldn't let you near her with a ten

foot pole, which is, by the way,

about nine feet, nine inches off

the mark anyway.

CRAIG:

(beat)

That's true. Oh, God, Lotte, what

have I become? My wife in a cage

with a monkey. A gun in my hand.

Betrayal in my heart.

LOTTE:

Maybe this is what you've always

been, Craig, you just never faced

it before.

CRAIG:

Perhaps you're right. I can't let

you go though. Too much has happened.

You're my ace in the hole.

LOTTE:

I need a shower.

CRAIG:

I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm sorry. I'm

some kind of monster. I'm the guy

you read about in the paper and go,

"he's some kind of monster."

LOTTE:

You're not a monster, Craig. Just

a confused man.

CRAIG:

I love you so much.

She dials her phone, opens her cage, puts phone to her ear.

CRAIG (CONT'D)

But I gotta go now. I've got to go

be Johnny.

MAXINE (O.S.)

J.M. Inc. Be all that someone...

LOTTE:

We have to meet.

MAXINE:

One hour.

Craig hangs up, tapes Lotte's mouth.

CRAIG:

I'll tell you all about it when I

get home.

Craig exits. Lotte fiddles with the ropes on her hands

Elijah, slumped in the corner of the cage, blankly

watches her moving hands. Suddenly his eyes narrow.

Something is going on in his brain. We move slowly into

his eyes.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY

It is a memory:
blurry and overexposed, the color washed

out. We see a weathered wooden sign which reads "Africa."

The sound of running feet, huffing frantic breathing. We

watch from up in a tree (Elijah's POV) as two men in safari

suits chase a couple of chimps across the jungle floor. The

chimps are screaming as the safari men tackle them and tie

them up. The safari men laugh.

SAFARI MAN:

Well, there monkeys ain't going

nowhere. Let's get us a couple a

brews 'fore the boss comes back...

The safari men leave the chimps on the ground. We descend

from the trees to the ground next to the bound chimps. One

of the chimps looks at the camera. He grunts and squeals.

CHIMP ONE (DUBBED VOICE)

Son, untie your mother and me!

Quickly! Before the great bald

chimp-men return.

A small pair of chimp hands enter into the frame and

struggle to untie the ropes, but to no avail. Chimp two

speaks.

CHIMP TWO (DUBBED VOICE)

Hurry, Elijah!

SAFARI MAN:

Why you little bastard!

Elijah is wrestled to the ground amidst much screaming.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE'S APARTMENT - DAY

Elijah shakes off the memory and looks determinedly at the

ropes on Lotte's hands. He attempts to untie the knot. He

works furiously and succeeds. Lotte pulls the tape from her

mouth.

LOTTE:

Oh, Elijah, you are magnificent!

Elijah beams and screams for ecstatic joy. Lotte unlocks

the cage, and dials the phone.

LOTTE:

Maxine! Listen:
It hasn't been me

in John the last three times. Craig's

had me locked up in the apartment. He

made me call you at gunpoint. It's

been him! Oh, God, it's been him!

MAXINE (O.S.)

(beat, calmly)

Really? Well, you know, he's quite

good. I'm surprised. Anyway, I have

a session with Malkovich I have to

attend. I'll speak with you soon.

LOTTE:

But Maxine, I thought it was me you

loved.

MAXINE (O.S.)

I thought so too, doll. I guess we

were mistaken.

Maxine hangs up. Lotte, visibly shaken, dials the phone.

LOTTE:

Hello, Dr. Lester?

CUT TO:

INT. MALKOVICH'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

The doorbell rings. Malkovich answers it. Maxine stands

there, dressed in an evening gown.

MALKOVICH:

Come on in.

MAXINE:

I can explain about the portal,

darling.

MALKOVICH:

Don't con me, Maxine. We're over. I

just let you up here to tell you

that, and to tell you that I'm taking

you and Schwartz to court.

MAXINE:

Oh shut up.

(beat)

Craig, darling are you in there?

Malkovich tenses up, then shakes his head in an awkward,

puppet-like manner. When Malkovich speaks, it seems to be

against him will.

MALKOVICH:

Yes. How did you know it was me?

MAXINE:

Lotte called me.

MALKOVICH:

Oh, so the b*tch escaped.

MAXINE:

Apparently you can control this

Malkovich fellow now.

MALKOVICH:

I'm getting better all the time.

MAXINE:

I'll say you are. Let's do it on his

kitchen table, then make him eat an

omelette off of it.

MALKOVICH:

(as Malkovich)

No... damn... you...

(as Craig)

Oh shut up, you overrated sack of

sh*t.

Malkovich begins undressing, and does a lewd bump and grind

while looking mortified. Maxine giggles. Malkovich (Craig)

laughs wildly.

CUT TO:

INT. LESTER'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Lester's hand is in a bloody bandage. The juicer sits on hi

desk. Lotte sits across from him looking nervous and

hollow-eyed.

LESTER:

You know I think it pays to leave

juice-making to the trained

professionals. You look terrible,

my dear.

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