Best in Sex: 2017 AVN Awards Page #6

Can I take this off?

Okay, so I'm sorry,

I lost my voice

over the weekend, but,

um, thank you!

Thank you, um, and thank you,

honestly, seriously.

- All right, I...

- You lost your voice too.

I lost my voice too, so it's

gonna be a little difficult,

but thank you.

You're the one,

like, I mean, you-you...

It was your butt.

It was not mine.

So clearly you.

It's all you.

It's all yours.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

Today we live in a world

where it seems like

everything we do

is caught on camera.

Which means there's a ton

of competition for getting

people, government,

and, most importantly,

the fans to look at you.

Something everyone

in this room is great at.

Here are the nominees of the

Fan Award for Favorite Cam Girl.

And the winner is...

Kati3kat!

I got it. I got it.

So, Katie, yo, I love you,

and I'll let you finish

right now.

However, Aspen is hosting AVN,

and she is kind of, you know,

the best cam girl ever.

Eff you, KKC.

Peace out.

Yeah, she's not

gonna pass this.

We got this.

I'm the mystery

secret weapon.

She's been my

yeah, the secret weapon

- all along.

- Are you kidding me?

Riley f***ing Reid?

Ugh.

Aspen, you called

Riley f***ing Reid?

Aspen!

Hey, Riley.

It's fun on my cam too.

Why don't you come on over?

Riley?

Riley!

Panties coming off.

- Bye bye, panties.

- Want me to sniff them?

Mm, they're so good.

You'd be jealous.

They are pretty f***ing good.

Oh, my God,

thank you guys so much.

Riley, you won so many

great awards over the year.

Is there any category

out there that you

really hope to win?

Besides Best Blow Job, I would

love to win Best Actress.

Ooh, I've been taking classes

in Shakespeare.

Wow, can we hear some?

Sure.

Are you talking to me?

Are you-are you talking,

are you-are you talking to me?

I don't see anyone else in here.

Are you talking to me?

Who the f***

do you think you are?

And scene.

Girl, I thought you said

you were taking a class

- in Shakespeare.

- Oh, it is.

It's in Shakespeare,

New Mexico.

We study

classic movie scenes.

Oh, okay,

well, then perfect.

And now we give you

three gorgeous women

I'd act with any day:

Piper Perri, Morgan Lee,

and Chaturbate cam girl

ChronicLove.

It's wonderful to be

recognized for just great tits

and a great ass.

It's also pretty awesome

to be recognized

because of your great tits

and great ass.

Here are the women that can

say both of those things

apply to them, and they are

the nominees for Best Actress.

They're playing our song,

Joker poker, huh?

This is going to be

so much fun.

Boo!

The renowned and only

blind surgeon.

It's just those people you

and Shawna watch on TV.

They're different too.

I mean, they're not different

like I'm different,

but they're still different.

If you can't admit to yourself

that you feel the same as me,

then you're f***ing crazy.

Just answer your phone.

Please, just answer your phone.---

I'll do anything.

You think you'll be able

to tough it with me

for the next few days?

Ahh!

Nothing will come between us

ever again.

I do not only call you

when I'm horny. Stop it.

That looks really formal.

What kind of party is it?

It's a fancy party.

And the winner is...

Kleio Valentien!

- Congratulations!

- Whoo!

- Yay!

- Aww.

I don't know what to say.

Thank you, Axel, so much

for-for letting me

reprise my role as Harley Quinn.

Thank you, Wicked Pictures.

Thank you, everyone who was

in "Suicide Squad."

Thank you so much.

You were all amazing.

Thank you, AVN.

You just won Best Actress

for Harley Quinn!

- I did.

- You did!

I feel like I wanna puke

and then drink

a whole lot of whiskey.

So happy for you.

Thank you.

Thank you, Greg Lansky!

Greg Lansky,

they put us together.

- F***!

- We forgot to thank him.

- We're such a**holes.

- We never thanked Greg! Sh*t!

- We always...

- Congratulations, you guys.

I didn't think

this was gonna happen.

I'm just-I'm amazed

and grateful and mindblown.

It just goes to show you

it's all about the fans.

We're all here

because you guys watch.

You did this.

Thank you.

Thank you and also screw you,

'cause you know

how awkward I am.

- But in the good way.

- Yes, in the good way.

Hi, my name

is Bradford McBride,

and I'm an adult film

foley artist,

or "AFFA."

The first movie I ever worked on

was "The Gapes of Wrath."

Sometimes we have to recreate

the sound of the performers.

For example, Riley Reid

lost her voice one time

at a Boyz II Men concert.

She couldn't scream at all

the next day.

In order to match her orgasm,

I has to heighten and speed up

the sound of a bird called

a Wisconsin whippoorwill.

And we were able to match

her orgasm perfectly.

Listen.

Amazing, right?

Hey.

Hey, it's Patrick again.

Listen, if you're not gonna

eat any of the food,

get away from the table.

I got what I need.

Still serving food

to the masses,

at least, trying to.

The other day,

I gave a girl some napkins

for her squirt scene,

but that was about it.

I mean, why don't they

take advantage

of this delicious food?

Seriously, what is with

these people?

Do you know how hard it is

to find organic gummy bears?

- Excuse me, hi.

- Oh, hi.

- I'm Neil, the director.

- Hi, Neil.

- I just...

- I didn't mean anything I just said.

This is a great looking table.

Is do you if we show it off?

Thanks, man, listen,

I worked really...

- Where's... where my meats!

- That's great, perfect.

They're my meats. Don't...

What are you doing?

No, no, my table!

No, no, no!

Jasmine, honey, you got

a gummy bear on your ass.

AVN salutes the heroes

of the adult film world.

We got married.

He double creampied us

about two years ago.

We, you know became officially

married at that time,

- but we never had a ceremony.

- Yeah.

So we just wanted to,

you know, show everyone

that we love each other.

They're, like,

hot and cute together.

They're just as excited

to watch the other one

get f***ed as to

get f***ed themselves,

which is really cool.

Coming, and then we're crying,

and then we're coming

and then laughing.

It sounded like

a mental hospital.

We met because we both

have slutty ass tattoos.

And then we f***ed

for an orgy.

I guess we fell in love

really then.

We both love creampies.

- Like, that's our sh*t.

- Yeah.

Like, what better way

to consummate our marriage

than to both get creampied

at the same time?

That was like, you know,

going to the courthouse

and signing all the documents.

Yeah, but then today

was, like, the ceremony,

you know, for friends

and family and everything.

It just made sense,

and we both love come.

We're gathered here

at AVN 2017

to unite these two sluts

in marriage.

You made me feel like

electricity is my fire.

You remind me of who the f***

I am inside,

and that's why you're my wife.

You're 100% you

100% of the time,

and you don't give a f*** what

anyone f***ing thinks about you.

Just never f***ing change.

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