Best in Show Page #2

all my buttons.

And you know, people say, "Oh, but

he's so much older than you."

And you know what? I'm the one having

to push him away.

Yeah, we both have so much in common.

We both love soup.

And we love the outdoors.

We love snow peas.

And...

...talking and not talking.

We could not talk or talk forever...

...and still find things to not

talk about.

Hi. I'm Graham Chissolm.

I'm the show chairman.

This is a very special time for me.

It's something I do every year

before the show...

...is come here and kind of, for the

last time, enjoy the solitude...

...of what I call a blank canvas.

And...

...there it is right there.

There's nothing out there.

Not that I can see, anyway.

No one here.

In five days from now, you are

not gonna believe the difference.

This center will be packed

with people.

And the roar of the crowd,

the energy...

...that this building will exude

will be phenomenal...

...with winners and losers.

Although no one loses.

We don't like to say that.

But some have a long drive home.

There are sad eyes on some dogs

that worked hard to get here.

Hamilton?

-We gotta call Dr. Nelken.

-Why?

Beatrice made a pee-pee

on the sheets...

...and a poopie in your slipper.

-In my Orvis slippers?

-I don't know.

-God.

-You been talking to her?

-Of course I have.

-What have you been saying?

I've been saying that when

we make love...

...it's a beautiful thing.

Sometimes.

-Excuse me?

-We met at Starbucks.

Not at the same Starbucks.

We saw each other...

...at different Starbucks across

the street from each other...

...and Hamilton got up the courage

to walk across the street one day...

...and approached me.

Yeah. I'd seen you at law school

before.

And I know that sometimes I'd be

in one Starbucks...

...you'd be in the other Starbucks,

and then I'd think...

...l should go over to that

Starbucks next.

And then you'd be at the other

Starbucks. So we kind of crossed....

-I know. It sounds so stupid now.

-He's so good.

I remember I was drinking

a grande espresso when I met you.

That's right, and I thought that was

really sexy.

-I was drinking cappuccinos.

-I remember.

Then I went to lattes, and then

now, double espressos macchiato.

And I'm now a big old, you know,

Chai-tea-latte, soy milk kind of guy.

-Soy. Yeah.

-Because of the lactose.

You're lactose intolerant now.

And I walked across the street,

and there you were....

Working on my Mac.

-And I had my Mac.

-Your Mac.

And there, and then, I look over

and she's reading J. Crew.

That's so weird, as I was such a huge

J. Crew person then too. Still am.

We sometimes like to just go to

Starbucks on weekends and...

...take an L.L. Bean catalog.

I'll say, "Honey, what's new?"

She has five minutes to look

and find what's new.

They've been around forever.

We were so lucky to have been raised

amongst catalogs.

Oh, it's so much easier.

You don't have

to deal with people as much.

You can just talk to the person

on the phone.

-Or not.

-Yeah.

I like to take Hubert for a walk

in the woods before...

...l show him, because...

...it's a more natural kind of

environment for him...

...and it makes him relax,

and it makes me...

...relax too, to not think about

the competition.

Just take a walk and, you know...

...smell the ground and all that,

and....

What'd you smell? What'd you smell?

See, a lot of times, what he's doing

is, he's--

A Bloodhound not only has a great

nose, but he also--

They can talk. So, what he's

doing, he's talking.

He's saying, "What'd you talk?"

What'd you talk? What'd you talk?

He's saying, "I'm ready."

That's when he's ready for a show.

Because he says, "I'm ready.

I'm ready."

Then I know he's ready.

What is it, boy?

He says, "I'm ready. I've walked

and I'm ready."

Have a good night's sleep, and then...

...we'll get going and it'll be

showtime for you, right?

Now, look at that. The judge will

look at him and say....

Sometimes I think he'll talk to

the judge and say:

"Hey, judge! Hey, judge!

Look at me!"

I mean, the dog isn't going to talk.

But his mind is like a telepathy...

...thing where he says:

"I'm the best one here. I'm the

best one you've ever seen."

The judge, in his mind,

because he can pick up...

...on the telepathy, will...

...sometimes give him...

...the blue ribbon.

"Hey, judge! What's going on

in there?

I know what you're thinking.

And I'm the best dog

in the whole ring!" See?

That's not a bad idea.

Maybe I just should...

...do that. Practice that,

right? Hubert.

-Congratulations!

-The big show.

-You gotta be happy.

-The big show.

What'll you do in Philly?

-What will you see?

-Everything.

We'll see the Liberty Bell...

...the place where

they make the cream cheese....

Oh, honey! Honey.

They're going to Philly to see...

...where they make

the cream cheese...

...we've been talking about!

I want to see where they make

the light cream cheese.

I don't want to go to

that other building.

Yes, that factory is not made out

of brick, I don't think.

-We'll cross our fingers for you.

-Fingers crossed.

We'll stop to see friends in Akron.

I told you about the Bermans.

We'll stop there.

We can stay with them.

You've talked about him before.

They're dear friends.

My wife wants to drive 140 miles

out of our way...

...to see some people we saw

three years ago.

Anyway.

Oh, someone's still a little jealous.

Oh, jealous?

How many years ago did he poke me?

How many years ago was that?

You've met my wife the comedian.

She thinks I'm jealous.

I'm sure it's all over with.

-Come on. Look how sweet.

-Now see, that's why it works.

God loves a Terrier

Yes, he does

God loves a Terrier

That's because

Small, sturdy, bright and true

They give their love to you

God didn't miss a stitch

Be a dog or be a b*tch

When he made the Norwich merrier

With his cute little derriere

Yes, God loves a Terrier

What is this? What is this ball?

What is this ball?

Is this your ball? ls this your ball?

We have a wonderful working

relationship.

And l...

...have to say I wanted the best

handler...

...and I get what I want.

You sure did.

This kennel that I opened up

was really just a kennel...

...until Sherri Ann and Leslie

showed up...

...and their generosity has turned

this humble little kennel--

-It was a sh*t box.

-Well, yeah.

They have turned this place into

a cutting-edge, state-of-the-art...

...kennel facility and I'm just so

grateful to them. It's just fantastic.

With Sherri Ann, we have this fantastic

friendship too. It's really great.

We have a little bit of a family

dynamic going here...

...and it mirrors what I grew up with.

My father was the taskmaster...

...the disciplinarian, which is what

I do, I'm the mommy/daddy.

Like, Mr. Punishment.

Well, you know, I also reward.

But Sherri is responsible for the

unconditional love....

And the decorative abilities.

The heart and soul,

which is what my mother did.

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