Best in Show Page #3

That was her job. She was

there for unconditional love.

And it worked for my family...

...until my mom committed suicide

in '81 .

Here, let me help you out.

Let me help you.

I got it, I got it.

Come on, slow down, you got a long

trip ahead of you, boy.

Okay, for Winky's poopies,

just in case.

-You're so thoughtful.

-Love you.

-Thank you.

-We love you.

And thanks for checking in

on the house.

Sherman's War Trail in Atlanta, get

a ham sandwich at Lee's Comeuppance.

Make sure you stop there and get

a ham sandwich.

Jack, the keys.

-Front door--

-We know how to get in.

-Have a good one.

-Have a great time.

Bring home the blue ribbon!

Don't water the plants,

they're plastic.

Bring home the blue ribbon.

We'll have drinks when you get back.

Forward...

...ho!

See you!

Have a great time!

You got your road map and stuff?

I think I'm all set, fellas.

What you got in here?

That's a little thing I picked up.

Will you do some fishing?

I'm going to the dog show.

They ain't got no lakes or rivers?

I don't think I'll have much time

to do that.

Good luck, Hubert!

Go put some hurt on them Yankee dogs.

-Thanks.

-We'll take care of everything.

Don't have worry about nothing.

We got it in order.

This is that tape I was telling you

about with the funny songs.

-It's real good for the road.

-Thanks.

-Bon voyage, Hubert. Good luck.

-Catch a big one!

Have a good time!

Hubert, who'll catch a big fish?

-Who's going fishing?

-Go get them.

-You the dog!

-Have a good time.

If you get tired, pull over.

If you get hungry, eat something.

See you, Hubert!

Don't forget the tape!

Well, we've started...

...you can call a little bit

of superstition on my part...

...but I always like to put up

the official curtain, so to speak...

...because this curtain here

will carry the...

...official symbol

of the Mayflower Dog Show.

Really spread the arms, guys,

so it doesn't get dirty. Thanks.

Behind it is the holding area

where the chief steward will be.

He'll make sure everybody has the

proper armbands, so they can....

Identifying the dog with the handler

is very important, of course.

All that anxiety and chaos happens

behind the curtain. It's good.

These people here can enjoy

the show and not see that.

Really shake it out there.

Let's get the dirt off it.

That's it. Been in a box for a year.

Oh, these have to come...

-...because....

-Counting those...

...you've already packed

six kimonos.

All right, so here is seven.

We're in Philadelphia for 48 hours.

That's seven, so I need,

actually, one more.

How many tea services can you do?

Why are you doing this? I think

we're overpacking. Don't you?

No!

There's a local honky-tonk

Down in Louisiana

Where the biscuits and gravy

Are like Dixie 's manna

Let's go honky-tonk now

I used to be able to name every nut...

...that there was.

That used to drive my mother crazy.

She used to say:

"Harlan Pepper, if you don't stop

naming nuts...."

The joke was that we lived

in Pinenut...

...and I think that's what put it

in my head at that point.

I'd go to sleep, she'd hear me,

she would just start yelling.

I'd say, "Peanut.

Hazelnut.

Cashew nut.

Macadamia nut." That was the one that

would send her...

...into...

...going crazy. She said,

"You stop naming nuts!"

And Hubert used to be able to make

the sound.

He wasn't talking,

but he used to go....

And it sounded like Macadamia nut.

Pine nut...

...which is a nut, but it's also

the name of the town.

Pistachio nut.

Red pistachio nut.

Natural, all-natural,

white pistachio nut.

Is that everything?

With all the bags?

-It doesn't look like everything.

-What?

-It doesn't look like everything.

-I counted.

It doesn't look like it.

Next time, call a car service.

You should be on time, then

we won't have to take a taxi.

I can't hear you!

If you were ready on time,

we wouldn't have to take a taxi.

If we had a car service,

they'd pick us up on time.

Meg, do you have the tickets?

Do you have the tickets?

-You have the tickets.

-No, I do not.

-What kind of dog is that?

-A Weimaraner.

You have the tickets.

How are you, little fella?

What did you do?

-Did you provoke her?

-What did you do? Did you pinch her?

He almost took off my hand!

You just get walking, buddy,

right now!

I'll file a personal assault charge

against you.

Put a muzzle on that, and yourself!

-You don't know who you're talking to!

-Crazy people, crazy dog!

Here we go, come on.

He's a mean man. Here you go.

Take your busy bee. Come on, winner.

-Oh, no! Come on!

-Meg, settle down.

She's not even reacting to the toy.

1 -1 -7-2-8

1 -1 -7....

It's on this side.

2-8.

2-6. Here we go!

That's it.

Oh, my God!

What a dump!

-You said they got a better place.

-They did.

If you live in skid row.

You did it. Good dog.

I'm getting heart palpitations.

-I can't help it.

-Listen to me.

Max is so history!

Who's my future?

Well, let's...

...get going!

Hi! Welcome!

Nice to see you!

-Good to see you.

-How are you?

It's so nice. Great!

-Nice house.

-Yes, what a wonderful....

-Oh, nice to see you.

-Good to see you. It's been so long.

-Gerry, how's the boy?

-Hello, Max.

Watch out for that one.

-Hey, Cookie

-Oh, Max.

Twice, like the French.

Come here, boy.

-You remember Winky?

-He's a sweet boy, he's fuzzy.

-God bless him. Here, go to Daddy.

-What?

Fay, thank you so much for letting--

Come on, let me show you around.

I'll go get the bags.

This is our biggest week of the year.

We're a popular hotel year-round...

...but now is when

we feel excitement...

...when the dog show comes through,

and all the familiar faces...

...canine and, you know...

...human alike come and we get

to see our friends again...

...and make the place ready.

Lots of work.

The key to welcoming animals

into a hotel is...

...maintaining a level of hygiene.

And that's what this room

is all about.

We're pretty well-supplied here

for any kind of contingency.

Your small dogs, your big dogs.

This is a good, safe product,

doesn't have bad odor...

...chemical smell for small stains,

usually small dogs...

...Pomeranian, your little

teacup Poodle, what have you.

This is a good product.

Sometimes, your bigger dog, your Great

Dane, your Bull Mastiff, Rottweiler...

...you need to up the ante a little bit.

This is another good cleaning product.

For the big critters,

the big stains...

...sometimes you need the nuclear

weaponry, the sodium hydrochloride.

I don't know if I can say,

I won't mention names...

...we had a rock group here...

...so we put down the rubber sheets

in the beds...

...but apparently they didn't see

the toilet in the room.

So we had a lot of cleaning to do

after they checked out.

Roasting a goat in the room,

I still don't understand.

Getting the smell of...

...cumin and charcoal out

of the drapes was a chore.

That was a big deal.

We get an imprint

of the credit card now.

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