Best in Show Page #7

-A pet store down the stairs?!

-Yes.

-Are you a wizard?! A genius?!

Why didn't you tell me before?!

Thanks for your help,

you stupid hotel manager!

Yeah, see the coat?

I gotta tell you, I've never felt...

...more confident than I feel

right now.

Like I could say to the

president of the IKennel Club:

"Why don't we skip to the chase here,

and just give me the cup.

I'll be on my way.

You can take my photo."

I honestly feel that way.

But, you never know...

...because there's so many variables

that I just can't control.

But, everything's going as planned.

Except for the makeup.

Well, Sherri Ann did put

some makeup on me...

...but it's really not my style,

so I took it off.

-It looked good.

-It was a bit much.

No, it looked really good.

I did a wonderful...

...Sophia Loren Persian eye.

And it looked very dramatic,

and looked very showlike.

It was a little over the top.

I looked freakish, so I took it off.

-No, you didn't.

-You have to just let this go, okay?

But, I do like what she did

with my hair.

Well, now it's time for the toys.

They're well-named.

They look like they could be wound up.

This is a fun group. And the crowd

always responds to the toys.

It's wonderful, the character

you see in these dogs.

That's what a lot of people

are looking for in a toy dog.

They're crowd pleasers. Frederick

Basil-Abbott Ill is the judge.

-He's got his hands full.

-Yes.

-Hey, hey, baby. Aw, a Bloodhound?

-Oh, yeah.

-Beautiful.

-Yep.

-Beautiful. How old is he?

-Yeah. He's 2.

-Slobbers a lot.

-He's a 2-year-old. Oh, yes.

-He's a 2-year. He's a slobberpuss.

-He is a slobberer. He's gorgeous.

-Yes, he is.

-Yeah.

I handle Rhapsody in White.

-The Poodle, right? The Standard?

-Yeah. Two-time Best in Show.

-Last two years here at the Mayflower.

-That's--

-I'm sure you know that.

-Yes.

-Yeah, so--

-I'm Harlan Pepper.

Christy Cummings.

But you probably know that.

Well, I do and I don't.

-You take care.

-I will.

Take care, Hubert. We'll see you.

The toy group

has long been a favorite.

Going back hundreds of years, when--

I'd be hard-pressed

to pick my favorite.

The Shih Tzu is a terrific dog.

-What's that one?

-The Shih Tzu.

-The Shih Tzu!

-That's a name you don't...

...play around with. It doesn't come

trippingly off the tongue.

"Stewardess, can I take a Shih Tzu on,

or does it have to be stowed?"

-"Is that a Shih Tzu in your...?"

-An old joke, but still good.

It's a crowd pleaser.

Ma'am, can I have

the ltalian Greyhound over here?

-He's known as a deliberate judge.

-Is that right?

Yes. An interesting side note:

He trained to be a priest at one time.

He was in a seminary.

Never went through with it all,

but it's unusual.

It'd be interesting to know why.

But that's a whole other show.

Sir, can I have the Pom

over here, please?

Ma'am, the Toy Poodle behind, please.

Sir, could I have

the Shih Tzu here, please?

They are a playful bunch, aren't they?

Thank you, sir. One.

Two. Three. Four.

Thank you. Oh, I'm sorry.

-Oh, congratulations.

-Thank you.

My little princess.

-My hero.

-Oh, thanks.

-God, thank you.

-Good job.

-Thanks.

-The Pom was no problem?

Pom broke his gait.

He might as well have taken a dump.

I was amazed the Yorkie

didn't do better.

-Who knew?

-Look at this. It's all you.

First in group.

Best in Show coming up.

She's like, "Group, shmoop.

Bring it on."

Which reminds me,

gotta go to the hotel.

-I have to change.

-Want some soup?

-Bath balm.

-Bath balm.

Immediately.

-Hello.

-Hi. I'm looking for a toy.

-It's a bumble bee. It's like a--

-For what kind of animal?

For a dog. It's a bee.

It's a bumble bee.

And it's furry.

It's about this big.

-Okay.

-Right.

It's a bumble bee.

Stripes on it.

-Here it is. Is this it?

-No, that's a bear in a bee costume.

Okay. I'm just trying to help.

It's about this big.

And it squeaks in the middle.

Oh. Okay.

This one squeaks. You know?

And I think it's striped.

I think the dog

will respond to the stripes.

And it's reminiscent

of a bumble bee, I think.

-It's like a bee.

-That's a parrot.

That's what the dog's responding to.

But you can look in the box here.

We have more.

Like this one.

The yellow and black one there?

-This?

-That's like a bee.

-This is a fish.

-Well, we know that's a fish...

-...but to a dog--

-Just shut up.

-I'm gonna get this.

-I'm just trying to help.

Thank you.

This is least like a bee

of what we have.

I didn't ask for your opinion.

I asked for a toy that you don't have!

-Oh, baby, you're so good.

-Yes.

Look at you.

Who could look at this face and say,

"Oh, I want him."

You. Hey, Wink. Hey, Wink.

-Look at this.

-Did you see the scary dog?

You. Hey, Winky, look at this.

You! Yes.

He's just a natural.

And look at his face.

Could he be sweeter or more loving?

The group is all about attitude.

And look at this.

What, could you find

a more likable attitude?

A happier, happier-to-know-you

kind of attitude?

I'm talking about you.

And here come the Terriers!

This is a very popular group.

There's a lot of winners that have

come out of this group in past shows.

-It's also popular with the crowd.

-They're lovable dogs.

-Wonderful personality.

-Very frisky, very playful.

It's sad, when you look at

how beautiful they are...

...to think that in some countries,

these dogs are eaten.

And once around, please.

That's my favorite,

the Miniature Schnauzer.

How do they make them miniature?

Is there some way, some process

they physically...

...miniaturize the dog?

Or is it a puppy?

What the devil is going on?

They just.... It's breeding.

They breed them small.

You'd think they'd want them bigger,

like grapefruits or watermelons.

Now, what's that up on the table?

That's the Norwich.

She's taking a close look

at the Norwich.

That handler looks familiar to me.

Madam, could you bring the dog

further down in back, please?

That's my dog.

Did I mention my idea for a book

for you?

Women bathing their dogs.

In cutoff jeans and T-shirts...

...and with the soap.

How it gets all wet, then the water,

let your imagination run wild.

Get the IKennel Club

behind it, make a few bucks.

That's what it's all about.

Put your name on it.

Bathing Your Dog

With Trevor Beckwith.

Doing It Doggy Style. You come up

with that, I'm not the literary guy.

All right. Judge Ruth Collier

is looking very closely.

One.

Two.

Three. Four.

Thank you.

Here.

What the hell is this?

-It's a toy.

-It's a rooster or something.

Get out the bee. Where's the bee?

I couldn't find it.

I went to the hotel, I asked.

You were gone for a half-hour and

you came back with this purple thing?!

Don't spit at me!

Don't you yell at me!

You take care of it!

-I will take care of it!

-Stop it! Just....

We're here with Dr. Millbank,

President of the Mayflower IKennel Club.

Doctor, let me ask you something.

I got a little bursitis in my shoulder.

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