Best in Show Page #6

Thank you.

Too much information.

Put him on.

I just want to say good night.

Hi, Tyrone. Hi, it's Daddy.

Hi, Tyrone. How are you?

Say hello? Say hello, Aggie?

I can hear him breathing.

We'll be home tomorrow.

I wanted to say good night.

I'm gonna sing a little bit

of your favorite song.

They buried Barbara

ln the old churchyard

They buried William beside her

And from his grave

Grew a red, red rose

And out ofhers a briar

Good night. Don't stay up all night

watching old movies.

Live From the Beyman Center

in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA

It's the 125th Annual

Mayflower Kennel Club Dog Show

Brought to you by lams Eukanuba

And let me tell you, the City

ofBrotherly Love is aglow tonight

Three thousand dogs competing

for Best in Show

Some big and some are small.

Some really small.

Bushy coats and coats so silky...

...they look like they were spun

by a giant spider!

You name it, they're here!

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,

I'm Buck Laughlin.

If you're a dog

or a friend of a dog...

...you want to circle this night

in your TV Guide...

...because, Trevor Beckwith,

they come to the Mayflower...

...with their crates,

their kibble, and their cookies.

And, most important,

with a will to win...

...that only a fellow dog

can truly appreciate.

Your thoughts on that matter?

Buck, I can't speak for the animals,

of course...

...but certainly, every human being in

this building is as excited as I am.

-You wrote a book, didn't you?

-I did. I did. Follow the Lead.

A book about obedience.

Basic obedience training for dogs.

As you know, I have a franchise

of schools around--

I didn't.

So this is right down your alley.

I went to an obedience place once.

It was going well till they spilled

hot candle wax on my private parts.

I'm just kidding.

I know what you're saying.

Because she's a winner.

Because she is Miss America.

You are little Miss America.

I'm trying to groom her.

She's fine. She's fine.

You know what?

She's feeling chuffed.

Feeling full of herself.

What I want her to do

is calm down a little bit.

-Just don't do the front. Let me--

-Okay. Fine.

What do you want more than anything?

Do you want the big blue ribbon?

Do you want red? No.

Do you want yellow? No.

You want the blue.

What do you see in front of me?

You see a blue ribbon

in front of you.

You want it?

Grab it! Get it!

She's not listening!

She's freaking out.

Get the busy bee.

You want your busy bee?

You get the busy bee.

I need to trim her whiskers.

It's in the crate!

It's in the crate!

Why wasn't it out to begin with?

Where in the crate?

-It's not in here!

-It should be in the crate!

It's not here!

I just told you that!

God, Hamilton, if she doesn't get

her toy she's gonna flip out!

See? It's not in here!

You left it at the hotel!

You go get it!

Go to the hotel and get busy bee!

Run! Run! Go!

Mommy's getting the toy. Don't worry.

We just had a little discussion.

Look at me.

Don't look at anybody else.

Don't look at the fat-ass losers

or freaks! You look at me!

-And what's the first category here?

-The Hound group.

You have your finger on everything.

The Hounds are coming out.

These are some unusual dogs.

The Hound group can be divided

into two groups, sight and scent.

This is the first of seven groups

that we'll see this evening...

...as the dogs progress towards

the Best in Show title.

-The judge is Eddie Franklin.

-That's Edie. Edie Franklin.

-Edie?

-A retired teacher from New Jersey.

You're right. That's a lady.

She gives them a thorough going-over.

Are all judges that thorough?

She looks at the teeth....

It's important that

all attributes are examined.

Teeth, eyes, ears, gums--

Ouch! Do I see right?

Where's she putting her hand?

Well, she's just checking out the

dog's testicular area to make sure...

-Whoa.

-...that everything is intact.

Hate to go out with Judge Edie

and have her judge me.

That would be no fun.

Would you take your dog down

and back for me, please?

Now she's having the dogs--

Why do they have them run away

and then back up?

What are they looking for?

For the dog's gait and movement,

to see the small angles.

So, Edie will be checking out

this thing in particular.

Good way to judge a woman.

Have her run away and then run back.

You know, those "birds"

on Carnaby Street.

I'm used to seeing them run away

more often than run towards me.

Now what is that?

That's a Bloodhound, isn't it?

Oh, this is a tremendous dog.

I would say in two to three years,

this could be a champion dog.

I think it may be

a tad immature for this year.

Trying to get some playing time.

Take your dog down and back

for me, please?

You know what would be funny? It's

just an idea off the top of my head.

Why didn't he put

a Sherlock Holmes hat on it...

...and put a pipe in his mouth?

Are they allowed to dress up

a dog in a funny way?

No, that's not the purpose

of these shows.

But it would really get

the crowd going, you know?

-The hat with a pipe?

-Absolutely.

You could make it look like

the pipe's smoking.

I think that would be

a little dangerous.

I'd get a kick out of it.

Now, that looks like a fast dog.

Is that faster than a Greyhound?

-Well--

-In a race, who would come in first?

If you had a little jockey

on him, going--

Let me ask, if you

put them on a football team...

...which would be the wide receiver,

which one the tight end?

Who can go the farthest, the fastest?

I don't know any dogs

that play football.

I'm having some fun with you.

It's tension time. Who will she pick?

She's looking them over close.

Yes, she's been very careful

with this group.

Is there anything they can do now

to sway the judge?

Nothing at all.

Just hope and pray at this point.

-Bring the Bloodhound out, please.

-Oh, ho. That's a surprise.

Bring the Beagle out, please.

Please sit down.

The Borzoi, please.

And the Petit, please.

All right.

Our little Sherlock Holmes dog

is out there, huh?

Even without the hat and the pipe.

So it's down to four now.

She's taking a final look

at the four she's picked:

The Bloodhound, the Beagle,

the Borzoi, and the PBGV.

That's the way I want them!

One. Two.

Three. And four.

And that's it. That's the order.

Frankly, I'm very surprised.

-An upset. The rookie came through.

-It's definitely an upset.

That's a tremendous achievement.

Have you tried looking under the bed?

Of course I've looked under the bed!

That's where you look

when you lose things!

You! What's she here for?

I called you 30 minutes ago!

You call yourself a maid?

Where are you from?

-I know people at INS!

-I'm an American citizen.

-They'll come in a van and take you...

-I'll handle it.

...back to where you came from!

Who do you think you are?

I've spent 20 minutes--

-Go get your papers!

-You're too agitated over a dog's toy.

-A dog's toy?

-Yes.

You obviously don't know my dog!

Don't tell me--!

-There's a pet store right downstairs.

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