Better Than Sex Page #3

What's wrong?

l can't get comfortable.

l can't find anywhere to put my arm.

Well, put it behind you.

What, like this?

Stop it! Put it under you or something.

-lt'll go to sleep.

-That's the idea.

Okay, put it under there.

Good.

Okay, that's enough.

Can you get the light?

No, this is perfect. Better not move.

This is torture.

You cannot be serious.

His spare arm was keeping us awake,

so it seemed a shame not to.

Look, l was a little bit tired...

...but l was going in the morning.

l mean, if it weren't having sex...

...usually l prefer to sleep alone.

Put the seat down.

ls that too much to ask?

They can kick a goal through

a couple of different posts.

Build bridges that join up

perfectly in the middle.

Ever heard of an astronaut

missing the moon?

They have a target to aim at,

but it still goes everywhere.

All that zigzagging around the bowl.

What's that about?

They're like dogs, staking out

their precious territory.

Put it down. lt's easy.

And it's not just the odd drop.

The place is wet.

Men, they're like wild animals...

...roaming some

prehistoric landscape.

They strut around like they're

king of the jungle...

...marking up their territory,

staking their claim.

Look at him, not a hint

of self-consciousness.

Totally oblivious to the impact

of his presence.

You can tell he thinks he's

a good root.

And for some unknown reason

I find that sexy.

Haven't you ever heard of flushing?

Give me that thing. On your back.

That's it.

No, really, I thought it'd be

a one-time thing.

I don't know, there's something really

exciting when you click with someone.

Feeling them become aroused, feeling

their hunger and their passion...

...like you've let something

out of a cage.

The noises, the heat,

that moaning thing, their desire.

Sometimes it's hard to let go of,

just like that.

You get past the point

where nothing else seems to matter.

You can feel his breath,

hear his growl.

It makes you feel invincible.

You're dancing away, and there's

this warm pleasure...

...that begins to grow inside the pit

of your stomach.

l'm definitely a ''yes'' girl.

''Yes, yes, yes, yes!''

A lot of no's. You know, ''No, no, no, no.''

And every now and then l get religious.

Small...

...birdy breaths.

I don't know. Passion was

beginning to take over.

l mean, l like passion, but it scares

the sh*t out of me at the same time.

lt gets away from you.

lt starts off as a sex thing...

...and suddenly there's an emotional

energy that you can't control.

And you want more and more intimacy.

But there's a price.

You sure about this?

Hurry up. What's the big deal?

Don't you know you should never rush

a bride? Look, l look ridiculous.

-l don't want to do this.

-l'll take it off.

Look, come over here into the light.

Come on over here.

l have no idea why l said

l'd make this bloody thing.

Why am l doing this?

Because you're about her size, okay?

Who's the lucky guy?

Look, stop complaining.

l've got to be a bridesmaid.

Bridesmaid? What do you mean,

a bridesmaid?

You're a grown woman. Don't you have

to be 1 1 to be a bridesmaid?

No, you idiot. That's a flower girl.

Hold still. lf you want to stay,

you've got to hold still.

Very good.

Look, l want you to stay, okay?

But l've got to get this done.

You know, what is it about marriage?

Get married?

l like the romantic idea,

but it's gotta be more than that.

-lf it was personal--

-l watched my family fall apart.

l'm happy. We're happy.

-I know he loves me.

-lt changes things.

Being the center of attention for the day.

-Would that be too hideous?

-But now--

How can you get married and leave

your friends and family out?

So you'd never get married?

l don't really see the point.

You know you love someone,

you're committed to them.

Being married doesn't make

any difference.

Never ever under any circumstance?

Negative.

-Not if you had kids?

-Negative.

-lf it meant breaking up a relationship?

-No, especially negative.

Not if you really loved someone,

and it was important to them.

l wouldn't get involved with someone...

...who needed to be married

that desperately.

Well, at least you're

open-minded about it.

Who's that?

Well, how would l know?

Sam!

What? You said tomorrow.

No, l said, ''Call tomorrow,''

not just turn up.

Well, l just wanted to check

and see if you're okay.

Let us in.

That is very kinky.

What have you two been up to?

Sam, this is Josh. Josh, Sam.

-Yeah, yeah, we met the other night.

-Hi.

What can l say?

l do.

Well, l'd love to see the look

on Carole's face.

-Who's Carole?

-Not a word. l really mean it.

You haven't been doing it

in her wedding dress, have you?

lf she finds out, she is gonna spew.

Think l'm gonna put the kettle on.

Sam, promise me.

What? l'm not gonna say anything.

-Cin, relax.

-And, Josh, can you be careful?

l think you're gonna wreck it.

How are you supposed to sit

in this thing?

lt's not meant for sitting.

-l think l better take it off.

-lt's fine. Don't worry about it.

All l want to do is be a princess

for a day.

Sam.

I should have just told her.

I'm not jealous of her.

Well, l don't know.

She does it to me all the time.

l mean, l know she doesn't

actually want to f*** him...

...but she wants him to want

to f*** her.

And l just felt stupid, l suppose,

because l've got no right to be jealous.

We spent one night together.

Oh, God, l've had

such a stressful week.

You wanna try and get some tea

into those cups?

Pete's back in town.

Pete's this guy l'm seeing.

l mean, not really seeing because,

well, he's married.

He's back in town, and l'm trying

to do this Rivers of the World thing.

They want it to be good

but won't change their deadlines.

-So it's gonna be crap.

-Sam produces TV documentaries.

-All right.

-What do you do?

Josh is a wildlife photographer.

-Really?

-Yeah, yeah.

l work for National Geographic

and that sort of stuff.

Ever thought of doing any live action?

Yeah, yeah, but l kind of like

to work alone.

You might wanna think

about it because...

...maybe we could

do something together.

Look, l'll give you my card.

-Give us a call sometime.

-He's leaving tomorrow, actually.

-Leaving? Where to?

-l live in London now.

Well, you know...

...l'm in London from time to time.

-Sh*t, Sam!

-Sorry.

-That's okay. lt'll wash right out.

-Well, l don't want to wash it, okay?

He's great.

You two obviously having a bit of fun.

Shame he's leaving so soon.

Sam, l think it's time for you to go.

It wasn't his fault.

But l was pissed off. And there's a lot of

unresolved crap between Sam and me.

And l guess l wanted him to--

l don't know.

lt's not fair to expect anything.

He just should have never seen all that.

-See you later. Nice to meet you again.

-Okay.

Have a good time, did you?

-l'm sorry?

-She certainly pulled your chain.

What are you talking about?

Do you mind not chucking

your clothes on the floor?

Well, there's one shirt,

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