Better Than Sex Page #4

one pair of shoes.

Well, this would be the perfect

opportunity to put them back on again.

Okay.

-When am l leaving?

-Well, it's up to you. Go if you want.

-What's wrong?

-Nothing.

-Doesn't seem like nothing.

-Okay, it's not nothing.

Well?

l would have thought it was obvious.

lf you don't know, l won't draw it for you.

What the hell is your problem?

So who's the girl?

What girl?

l looked in your wallet.

What do you mean,

you looked in my wallet?

-So who is she?

-She's no one.

lt's got nothing to do with you. What

are you looking through my stuff for?

Excuse me,

what about all my stuff?

My life is completely on display here.

This is my home.

lt's my friends we have to deal with.

You just waltz in

and make yourself comfortable.

l don't even get a glimpse

of who you are, what your life's like.

The only thing l know is you're

a stupid wildlife photographer.

-lsn't this supposed to be casual?

-lt is f***ing casual.

See you later.

Like in about 1 0,000 years.

l was angry and frustrated.

None of this should be happening...

...but l'm walking away feeling

like l was doing something wrong.

Like l was making a big mistake.

Look, the whole point of it

was that it was casual.

You didn't have to deal

with that kind of crap.

Taxi!

You all right there, mate?

You seem a bit upset, that's all.

She's absolutely crazy.

Bloody meerkats.

Stupid, bloody animals.

So l'm sitting there holding

his bloody sock, feeling guilty.

We had our night.

Why didn't l just chuck him out?

l don't know. l mean, maybe l should

have made more of an effort...

...but l thought the idea was

you didn't have to make any effort.

l can't do it. Out you get.

-l beg your pardon?

-Can't you tell she's scared?

Loosen up. Wouldn't kill you

to reveal something about yourself.

And that friend of hers,

flirting her ass off with you.

lt puts a bit of strain on things,

but you can't walk out now.

lf nothing else,

she needs reassurance.

Since you're such an expert,

you go and talk to her.

Okay, okay.

lt was supposed to be something casual,

and now we're not so sure. Big deal.

Come on. What's wrong

with expressing some real feeling?

lt's up to you.

Go if you want, turn your back,

run away, whatever.

You decide. But l'm not driving you.

Go on. Out you go.

-What?

-Go on. Off you go.

Couldn't live with myself

if l didn't make you try again.

You have to sleep together

and run away.

As soon as you let

some sort of intimacy develop, it's--

l don't know, it gets crazy.

I didn't want it to end like that.

Why does it always

have to get so--?

Complicated.

These two kill me.

Yeah?

-Hey, it's me.

-Hey, Josh. Good boy.

-What, she kick you out already?

-Come on. Open up, will you?

What's going on?

Nobody here called a cab, mate.

Come on, l haven't got all day.

Hey, chuck us down my bag,

will you?

What's going on?

-l just gotta sort something out.

-ln you get.

Unbelievable!

Look....

A couple of years ago, l....

Actually, it was a few years ago now,

l had this friend.

You know, a girlfriend.

She was my girlfriend and she wasn't.

Anyway, she was my best friend.

And...

...well, she was the love of my life,

l guess.

lt was the first time in my life l actually

was with someone l was really into.

You know that feeling

when you just crave them?

Anyway, we were pretty young...

...and she didn't really feel

the same way, so....

She wanted me to be close to her,

but not too close.

l'd go out with other women,

and just as l get a girlfriend...

...she'd offer herself to me.

Just enough...

...to make me feel as though

it could happen between us.

But, you know, it never did.

And....

lt started to really wear me down.

So one day...

...l decided l'd had enough.

So that's how l ended up in London.

Anyway, that photo...

...it reminds me of....

Well, l'm f***ed if l know.

Something.

That you loved her.

Sorry. l always laugh

when l get nervous.

l don't know.

Look, it was good, but it was also

scaring the sh*t out of me.

We suddenly felt connected.

Sex wasn't just casual anymore.

It was....

lt was passionate.

lt was really passionate.

It wasn't about f***ing and orgasms

and all that.

Well, I mean, it was, but...

...I don't know, it was deeper,

more fulfilling. For me, anyway.

l really didn't want

to get into all of that.

l was really asleep.

Good morning.

l made some tea.

-Come on.

-Where are we going?

Hey, nice touch.

Didn't want you to think

l was a slob or anything.

Hello.

Nice, isn't it?

Very tropical.

No good?

-Did you boil the water?

-Listen, buster, l know how to make tea.

lt's just like making coffee,

only with tea.

l made you a cup the other night.

You said you liked it.

That's delicious.

-Can l ask you something?

-Yeah.

Was that before or after we had sex?

-Before. You know it was before.

-Exactly.

Like making coffee.

Hey, all that before with Sam.

What was that about?

Forget it. lt wasn't your fault.

l just...

...felt undermined by Sam.

She dumps all this sexually

competitive bullshit over me.

l found it humiliating.

And she uses me so she can feel

better about herself, more attractive.

You know, sexier.

Do you think she's sexy?

l don't know. Oh, look,

l wouldn't wanna f*** her...

...today.

Well, l want you to stay, okay?

Until you have to go. lf you want.

l mean,

l wanna keep f***ing you.

l wanna not give a sh*t

when you go tomorrow. l....

l want you to be some guy l slept

with once and then you just pissed off.

l want us to keep having

this casual fling.

l love you!

Sh*t!

l can't believe

you made me say it again.

You can't help yourself.

-Yeah.

-It was out of control. I mean...

...we hardly knew each other.

We f***ed, we had a fight.

You walk away.

What were we doing back

in bed together? Talking?

-You hungry?

-Yeah.

Let's go out

and get something to eat.

Ready.

Give me a break, that's too fast.

No, no, no. l'll be quick. Stop that,

Joshua. Do those buttons back up.

lf you're gonna hassle me,

it'll just take longer.

lt's bullshit. l'm quick.

Five minutes, l'm out, looking good.

This is quick.

lf it was just her making herself

look good for just one guy....

Well, okay, but...

...women wanna look great

for the rest of the world.

And that can take some time.

-Oh, you're kidding.

-What?

What?

lf l'm premenstrual, it can take me

a bit of time...

...but l think he could

cut me some slack.

Do you like this smell?

How can a change of jeans

and a bit of lipstick take two hours?

A bath?

Don't know why she's so paranoid.

Well, l think she's sexy

whatever she's got on.

What do you think?

Perfect, if you were wearing them.

No, l wanna look good.

-Yeah, good.

-You think so? l don't--

l don't know about the skirt.

Fine.

Only fine?

-Does this top go with these shoes?

-Top with those shoes? Yeah.

Sure?

Who the hell looks at shoes?

That looks great.

Everything goes with those shoes.

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