Between Us Page #8

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I took a job I can't stand...

that kills me day in and out.

People inherit money all the time, Joel.

We sacrificed.

We moved away

from New York!

We made choices.

How much does he want?

I don't know. He didn't say.

He didn't?

No. We were interrupted. You

think it's a lot of money?

There isn't. We have the same dreams,

the same ideals. Come on. Look at him.

So you're just gonna

give him money?

If you agree, yeah.

And if I don't agree?

Then we'll talk about it. And if after

we talk about it I still don't agree?

Then we'll flip a coin.

Very funny.

No.

I won't give him money that would

get him out of his crushing debt.

He said,

"crushing debt"?

Joel, when somebody says "crushing

debt" and they ask for money,

they mean

a lot of money.

Maybe we should give 'em money.

Okay, great.

Let's just give away all our life savings

to beggars, friends, delivery boys. Great.

[JOEL]

Jesus Chr...

Um, Grace said that the delivery

man speaks perfect English.

I started to ask him

do you have any change,

and I stopped myself

mid-sentence,

figuring he probably didn't

speak English, and he said...

"I have change."

And I said,

"Oh, you speak English."

And he said, "Of course.

Why wouldn't I?"

And I said, "My husband said

you didn't," and he said,

- "Your husband's wrong."

- I didn't even say he didn't speak English.

- You still want to give him a hundred

bucks now? - Yes, of course. Why not?

Well, he's coming back.

He's coming back?

Yeah. Joel called him back.

You called him back?

I said I was gonna tip the guy $100.

He's coming back for the tip.

You called that poor

old man back here?

To tip him

a hundred dollars.

For some reason, my husband wants to

show his generosity this evening.

Sharyl.

- You must be enjoying this.

- Enjoying what?

- [CARLO] I thought we said we were done

fighting... - I'm not done fighting.

- What the... Enjoying what?

- Him groveling.

Look at your smug little face.

You love this, don't you?

What the f*** are you talking about?

This is your revenge.

Revenge?

[CARLO] Grace, please...

Whoa. No, no, no.

Revenge? For what?

[GRACE] For your mediocrity.

What?

He was the more talented of

you two in graduate school.

Oh, my God! In fact, you had very

little talent, if any at all.

And you had an inferiority

complex about it for years.

Did I?

You did.

Grace... My husband got

all the attention.

- He was the star of that program.

- [CHUCKLES] That he was.

And this is your revenge,

isn't it?

Oh, it must be delicious for you

to see him so weak and needy.

So I harbor an inferiority

complex, and I'm without talent.

- Is that what I'm supposed to believe?

- They're not my words.

[MUTTERS]

Jesus Christ.

[EXHALES]

This is why I don't

like dinner parties.

Divorce.

[CARLO] No, you

can't... You can't be.

Yeah, you're right.

It would be

an annulment.

The Catholic Church would tell

us our marriage never existed.

Invalid from the beginning.

It was all a mirage.

You guys...

[JOEL] What? You

guys were so happy.

Were we?

We had plans... our

vacation in Costa Rica.

Well, we're not divorcing

to inconvenience you.

Well, you could see a counselor.

Counselor?

A referee? Please.

[JOEL] Please.

That beautiful baby boy up

there... What's gonna happen?

Are you being serious? You see

that couch you're sitting on?

That is a pullout bed.

Okay, Joel, enough.

I have a feeling my name is embroidered

on it. Enough. It's getting old, Joel.

What?

The joke is getting old.

Who said it was a joke? Your

sarcasm's getting very old.

She ordered it last year. Joel

thinks I ordered it for him.

We have never had a pullout

couch in our lives.

Not even in our little

apartment in New York.

And she orders

a pullout couch here.

Sharyl claims to be above my nasty words,

but Sharyl fights in very subtle ways.

Look at the way you're behaving.

I refuse to sleep on it.

I have sequestered myself up in

the unfinished guest room...

amidst the paint cans

and the drywall.

I think I'm becoming

asthmatic as a result of it.

[SOBS] But I have to finish that

room so I can get some sleep,

because I refuse to

even sit on that couch.

Because if I do,

she wins.

This is...

This is too much.

This...

This is nothing.

We are fine with the couch.

Good. It's all yours.

I'm asking you...

politely...

to please...

stop.

My wife was f***ing

a Brazilian.

[SIGHS]

Oh, no. God.

# [BOSSA NOVA]

# [CONTINUES,

MEN SINGING IN PORTUGUESE]

Goddamn you.

Goddamn you.

I used to play

our bossa nova CD's...

to get a rise

out of Sharyl.

Then she found them, and she

threw them out. You a**hole!

So I bought some more

and she threw those out.

Then I bought some more...

Back and forth, back and forth.

All right, listen, we gotta go.

A**hole!

Go? Go where? You're in

the f***ing tundra!

Sweetheart,

I'm asking you nicely...

to please stop.

Please.

After Sharyl had the baby,

Bossa Nova

wouldn't f*** her anymore.

So now I have to watch her

mope around in a robe...

in this vacuous palace

of sh*t!

Well, maybe when I'm around

you I intuitively mope.

Oh, really? Your Brazilian

depression is my fault then?

Depression? Who said anything about

depression? I'm talking about moping.

I guess what I'm saying, Joel, is I'm not really

moping because I have nothing to mope about.

I'm quite satisfied

is what I'm saying.

How do you know

he was my only?

Only?

Bossa...

nova.

That's clever, Sharyl.

Really?

Yeah.

What is? Tell me.

What? What's clever?

You're smug.

But the truth is,

you know nothing.

[WHISPERING] And I would never

tell you what you want to know.

One day...

I'm gonna murder you.

I look forward to it.

[SNIFFLES]

Crme brle, anyone?

I feel sick.

What do you mean

by "only"?

We don't socialize much

anymore because Joel...

- What do you mean? - Has the

habit of embarrassing us.

It was one of the reasons we

didn't make it to your wedding.

I am so sorry

you had to see this.

Are you kidding? This will do them good.

See what a marriage can become.

It will do them good to know

that I find you abominable,

that the thought of having

sex with you revolts me.

Sharyl...

I would rather you

f*** a whore...

than put your hands

on my shoulders.

My stomach churns at the

thought of our wedding day.

[GASPS]

[SHARYL SOBS]

[SOBBING QUIETLY]

[SOBBING CONTINUES]

[TAPE ROLL CLATTERS

AGAINST DINNERWARE]

[TAPE TEARING]

[EXHALES, SOBS]

Carlo and Grace,

the mold, the archetype

of a good relationship.

Such passion,

warmth, humanity.

Sharyl and I used to joke.

Didn't we, Sharyl?

[SOBBING] Before we

started to fall apart.

When we still had a sense

of humor, we used to say...

that we wanted the two

of you, Carlo and Grace,

bronzed

into a statue...

and put

in our backyard to...

To remind us

of happiness.

[GIGGLES]

[GIGGLING]

[SHARYL SIGHS]

We really...

hoped tonight

would be different.

Go to sleep.

[SIGHS]

We'll have coffee and bagels

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