Beverly Hillbillies Page #7

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(Granny) Charge!

No, no, no!

- Come on, Granny!

- (Margaret) Who is that?

- It is I, Jane Hathaway.

- Hathaway, have you lost your mind?

She's an impostor. She's marrying

Mr Clampettjust to steal his money.

That sidewinder Tyler helped her!

- I'm ruined!

- Milburn! Milburn!

Tyler, let's set up the computer

and push the button.

If I can't have their money, nobody should.

Quick!

OK, we'll send their billion bucks bouncing

around so many banks, they'll never find it.

It's all set.

All we've gotta do is push that button.

You rustic, nose-picking, inbred yokels!

- You're all about to be poor again.

- Think again.

No, you don't, you schemin' skunk!

Wait till I get my hands on you!

Pa, you must be so disappointed.

A little. But, Elly May,

I was mainly marrying Miss Laurette

cos I thought you wanted her

for your new mom.

- I'm so sorry, Pa.

- Don't be sorry.

I love you just the way you are.

I reckon I oughta raise you up

to be who you wanna be.

Well, I don't need a new ma,

not as long as I got you and Granny.

Hot dog, Miss Jane. You sure are a good shot.

Well, thank you, Jethro. Gotcha!

Well, folks, I guess you can say things

didn't turn out quite the way we planned.

So, since there ain't gonna be no hitchin',

and we're all here anyway...

I say we have one hellacious shindig!

- Let go of me!

- There she is! She's all yours!

Let go of my hand!

Hey! Nobody treats my pa that way!

Shut up!

How's that for ladylike,

you old money-grubber?

Come on, city boy. Let's dance.

Stand back.

You're under arrest for kidnapping,

attempted embezzlement and fraud.

(Laura) Oh, right. It was all Tyler's idea.

I admit it freely. It was all her idea.

I always fall in love

with the wrong kind of man.

- Clean up that cake.

- Don't step on the train.

I'll wait for you, honey.

(snorts)

Well, where was she?

- Oh!

- Oh, well!

Weii-doggies!

Thank you.

This is about right.

It's a shame they had to file for bankruptcy.

I just hope my call to the IRS didn't have...

- I shouldn't open it.

- We'll do it again.

But I got there.

That old lady is...

That old lady is... I'm sorry.

- That's OK.

- She's getting pretty old by now.

(man) Still rolling.

OK, give me a big smile.

It can't get any bigger.

- So, what happened?

- Actually, he slapped me.

Why don't you come up here?

Let me take a good look at you.

Jim? Jim? Hey, dude, where are you, man?

I'm not even a bridesmaid.

I gotta do this again.

Action.

No, we've got to get back.

I called. I told him to postpone the...

- I lost my purse.

- It's right here.

(laughter)

- How did you get it?

- I don't know.

Jethro, come on down here.

Likely as not there's another family

lives up here. There.

(# "Ballad of Jed Clampett"

by Jerry Scroggins)

(# "Hot Rod Lincoln" by Jim Varney)

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