Beyond the Valley of the Dolls Page #3

...and Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley.

- Hey, man.

Ronnie Barzell, I'd like you

to meet Harris Allsworth, my...

- My manager.

- Manager, eh?

Any friend of Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley

is a friend of mine.

- Manager?

- The Kelly Affair.

The Kelly Affair?

You mean, you're the Kelly?

Little did I suspect I was in the presence.

Still, that name won't do, you know.

It's awfully 1950s.

- Might as well call them The Haircuts.

- Kelly, I'm ready to leave.

Leave? No. You have not yet

graced our gathering with a song.

Come, my dove. I must present you

to the faithful. Now!

Ladies and gentlemen,

an announcement if you please.

There is a new rock group in the house.

Their name, The Kelly Affair. Well, even

their best friends don't like their name.

Still, as the teen tycoon of rock, I'd like

to hear them and I'm sure you would too.

The Kelly Affair.

I'd like to strap you on sometime.

Stop! Cool it! Cool it!

Masters and mistresses, I'm

so excited about what I've just heard...

...I predict these three, like

their sister before them, Carrie Nation...

...will crush the musical barrier

and rise like angels.

Did I say "like Carrie Nation"?

Nay, nay, they are The Carrie Nations.

You'll be superstars!

- We killed them, didn't we?

- You've reached the unreachable star...

...beat the unbeatable foe. The Times

and free-press critics will pay homage.

Ronnie, we owe everything to you, man!

My fine countess,

your melodious voice...

...surpasses the haunting pipes of Circe.

Beauteous Pet of triumph,

you were a thunderstorm.

Casey, mistress fair...

...this stringed assault has left

my ears fiercely vibrating. Majestic!

- You played some funky drums out there.

- I'm glad you dug it.

- So, what's not to dig?

- Did you hear the wondrous miracle...

...wrought by my muses?

- You've done it again, Ronnie.

Again and again.

Porter, methinks this brew is not

for your more delicate sensibilities.

Courage, Camille.

Excuse me. Casey, did you

hear the crowd? You were great.

- Thank you.

- Just great.

- I'm really happy.

- And you, the infamous Ashley St. Ives...

...high priestess of carnality,

what thinkest thou of our minstrels?

Congratulations, Ronnie.

They were heavy.

Make haste, my supple countess.

The last flight to Shangri-la

leaves within the hour. Hasten, hasten!

- Come on, Casey. Let's go.

- I'll talk to you later, okay?

Does not the moment

amuse you, Kracow?

Hasten, ere the portcullis

bars your entrance to Elsinore.

Here, let me help you.

- Pet, where's Emerson?

- Cramming for bar exams.

When are you two gonna shack up?

As soon as he can move me

into the law library.

- Hey, there's another party at Z-Man's.

- So, what else is new?

Like every night. Deal me out.

- What's the matter, babe?

- Nothing. Just beat.

All I want is some peace and quiet,

and that's one thing Z-Man can't offer.

Have a ball. I'll see you tomorrow.

Ciao.

- Good night.

- Case?

- Got anymore grass, man?

- I scored this afternoon.

The cat swore up and down

it was Acapulco Gold.

- Lf we're lucky, maybe it's at least pot.

- Or we'll get an oregano high.

- Weren't you with Emerson all afternoon?

- I was.

- I thought he was at the law library.

- He was.

So, like, when did you score, man?

Well, Emerson slipped me

a graduate-student pass.

I went back in the stacks to do some

research in the rare book collection.

- And who do I run into but my score?

- Cool, man. That's getting it together.

- Yeah. See you later, Kel.

- Okay.

- Hi, babe. Coming to the party tonight?

- What party?

Everyone's splitting for Z-Man's.

- Everybody?

- You bugged, man?

- Yeah.

- What's the matter, baby?

- Things happened tonight.

- Sure.

- So?

- So where do I fit in, Kelly?

- I don't dig.

- There once was a time...

...maybe you can remember,

when I was your manager...

...not the next thing

to a goddamn groupie.

Come along to Z-Man's. Do you good.

Move it out, Kelly.

- Be right there.

- Roxie and I will meet you out by the car.

I gotta split, man.

Say, Miss Mac Namara?

You were great.

You really turned them on.

Oh, thanks.

Don't I know you from somewhere?

Don't tell me your name. You're...

- Lance. Lance Rocke.

- That's it!

- Coming to the party at Z-Man's tonight?

- I...

I don't know.

What do you think, Miriam?

Feel like a party?

Not really, Lance.

Sounds divine,

but it's past my bedtime.

That's a shame, Miriam.

It's gonna be so much fun.

- You sure?

- As sure as sure can be.

Well, at least let me call you a cab.

What do you say everybody?

Let's do it.

- Going my way?

- I'm skipping the party. I'm going home.

I'm skipping the party too. Why don't

you climb in, unless you have a ride.

- Don't put yourself out. I can hitch.

- We're going the same way.

Come on. Get in.

Turn left at the next street.

Mine's the one on the right

with the bright lights.

- So?

- Thanks a lot, Ashley.

Don't I even deserve a good night kiss?

Let's go inside.

- What's wrong with the Rolls?

- Not when my bed's handy.

- I want you right here.

- At least we can park in the driveway.

Now it's your move.

It's my first time in a Rolls.

There's nothing like a Rolls, Harris.

There's nothing like a Rolls.

Nothing. Nothing like a Rolls!

Not even a Bentley!

Not even a Bentley!

Bentley! Bentley!

It's like a Rolls. A Rolls!

A Rolls!

You're beautiful, Kelly.

Kel, who's that Susan Lake broad?

What's her story?

- Susan Lake, my long-lost aunt.

- Aunt Susan?

That's far out.

She's a fine-looking lady.

Nice and firm.

Round and beautiful. Well, pneumatic.

- Aunt Susan?

- Yeah, Aunt Susan.

- She'd flip out to hear you say that.

- I doubt it.

- Lance?

- Yeah?

- I'm thinking of cutting my hair.

- Well, don't.

Why not?

I wanna love you for more than money.

- What do you mean?

- You know what I mean, the millions.

- The Lake millions.

- You know a lot about me, don't you?

- There's no secrets at Z-Man's.

- I gently suggested to Aunt Susan...

...that the millions could go screw.

- You what?

- You heard me.

- Wow, baby, that was really dumb.

And how come you're

only getting a third?

You ought to be getting half,

and you know it.

- Why should I get anything at all?

- You earned it.

Getting shafted all your life while all

those relatives lived it up in Worcester.

- You know a lot about my family.

- Like I say...

...there aren't many secrets

around here.

Kelly. Now listen, Kelly.

I'm gonna give you some free advice,

baby, and you'd better take it.

The noble Porter Hall is trying

to get his lunch hooks on that dough.

He's screwing you, baby,

not Susan Lake.

That girl Kelly Mac Namara is a tramp.

She was living in a single room

with three other individuals.

One of them was a male.

And the other two?

Well, the other two were females.

God only knows what they

were up to in there.

And furthermore,

I wouldn't be surprised to learn...

...that all four of them

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