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Big Fat Liar Page #2
'Cause this ain't working|for me at all.
What do you think you're doing?.|Fumigating me in here?.
Move!|Moving.
Why did you call cut?. I did not|tell you to stop acting, Urkel.
Wolf, how many times|have I told you not to call me Urkel?.
My name is Jaleel White, okay?.
Urkel was a character|I played when I was a child.
Okay,Jaleel.|Hey, what's the problem?.
Wanna know the problem?.|Yeah.
I'm getting nothing|from the chicken,|that's the problem.
He sits there with his head slumped over.|I have no idea what my motivation is.
Mmm. Okay, you're|a police officer named Fowl.
Your new partner is a crime-fighting|chicken named Whitaker.
And your motivation is a nice|fat paycheck that's keeping you out...
of working the drive-through window at McDonald's.|Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Watch yourself, Wolf.|Watch yourself.
No, you watch yourself, pal.
You're just lucky I'm not making you|wear the freaky glasses and suspenders.
I swear. I was riding down the street|on Jamie's old bike and some limo hit me.
They offered me a ride.|I spilled all my stuff. I must've forgotten the paper.
Give us one reason|whywe should believe you.
Because it's true!
There was some guy in the limo.|Marty something. Maybe he took it.
What are our options?.
Without the essay,|summer school.
Or... summer school.
[Man]|Today, students,
we're going to learn about|the joys of a special friend...
I like to call Mr. Semicolon.
[Student Coughing]
The semicolon was first used...
in a 1734 letter|to British Parliament...
by Mr.Jedediah Wilkinson.
W-I -L...
I--|[ Snoring ]
Help... me.
Jason, you must've made|at least one friend.
Yeah, come to think of it,the kid behind me|who kept flicking boogers at my neck,
he seemed like|a really nice guy.
I shouldn't even be|in that stupid summer school.
Ifit makes you feel any better,|my parents are taking an adventure.
They're going on a river rafting|trip in the Grand Canyon.|But do I get an adventure?. No.
My big adventure is staying|at my Grandma Pearl's|with her toe fungus.
Well, you can hang out|at my place.
My folks are taking a long|weekend at some health spa|for their anniversary.
It'll just be me and Jamie|from Thursday till Sunday.
[Preview Narrator]|In a time...
when a little lie...
can grow bigger...
and bigger,
one man will pay the price.
Next summer,|people everywhere...
will stop and stare.
Marty Wolf Pictures presents...
Kenny Trooper,
the Bi g Fat Liar.
[ Kaylee ]|What do you think? Wanna see it?
See it?. I thi nk I wrote it.
[ Dad]|Not that again,Jason.|I'm telling you!
Wait a minute.|This is it.
Big Fat Liar is already being touted|as next summer's must-see movie event.
I recently sat down|with Marty Wolf,
the mastermind behind|this sure-to-be--
That's him!|That's the guy from the limo.
- How'd you come up with this idea?|- Some ideas you...
struggle and struggle with.
But the great ones,|well, they just come to you.
Yeah! From my backpack,|you loser!
-Jason.|- Dad.
I'm serious.|That guy stole my paper.
You have to believe me.
I can't.
Ijust don't trust you right now,Jas.
Have a nice weekend, kids.
We will.|[Mom ]|See you on Sunday. Have fun.
Look out for your brother.|Bye-bye.
We'll miss you guys.
[ Groans ]
Later.|I 'm going over to Rudy's.
- Rudy.|- Yo, what's up, dog?
How you living, yo?.
It's crackin', kid!
Peace out, little "G."
Booyah!
He's not literally|a catcher eating rye bread.
It's more of a metaphor|for a state of adolescent angst.
- We need to talk.|- I'm tutoring.
Bet you wish you still had|your skateboard, huh, Shepherd?
Let's see.|Fully-developed brain.
Skateboard.
- I think I'll take the brain.|- But I have your skateboard.
-Kaylee, pack your bags. We're going on a trip.|-I can't just go to Los Angeles.
And I can't go through my life|having my parents think I'm a liar.
But you are a liar.|In general that's true.
But this time I'm telling the truth.|I wrote that paper.
And I'm not gonna rest until Wolf admits|he stole it and my parents know it.
What are we supposed to do?.|Walk across the country?.
Three years of yard work and baby-sitting money.|Our flight leaves in two hours.
What about my Grandma Pearl?|I'm staying at her house|while my parents are away.
That woman doesn't|even know what year it is.
You said you wanted an adventure.
We'll go to L.A., I'll get my paper,|and we'll be back before the long weekend is over.
My grandma will notice|if I don't even show up at all.
[Bret ] Hey, Kaylee,|you got a plunger?
I took a dookie and|I clogged up the toilet. Oh, boy. Oh, no.
What a mess.|[ Laughing ]
This is never gonna work.|She's not that blind and senile. Oh, it'll work.
If any of my team mates|see me, Shepherd, you're dead.
Hey, we made a deal. You want us to do|your summer school homework or not?.
Yeah, it's just--|It's only a few days.
And remember. You have to|make your voice sound like a girl's.
Come on, big feller.
Who's there?. I've got a gun.
It's just Kaylee, Grandma.
Kaylee?.
You can't be Kaylee.|You've grown so tall.
And you're so muscular!
[ Laughs ]|I'm benching like 220, 230.
Good for you!|Give me a hug.
Come on.
# Me, myself and I#
# Me, myself and I|Just me, myself and I#
# Ahh-ahh-ahh#
[Woman Over P.A. System:|Indistinct ]
Follow my lead.|Okay.
Hi. I'm Mr. Stroog.
[ Laughs ]
You serious?.|Is there a problem?.
No, no. Uh--
Just you're kind a young to be the biggest|fur coat distributor of the Midwest, you know?.
It's a family business. I've been|selling pelts since I was a baby.
Okay.
I'm Frank.
Frank, we want to get some sightseeing in| before we start covering this town in fur.
Okay. So this here|is a little place I like to call...
Los Angeles.
# Me, myself, myself and I#
#Just me, myself#
# Do it all the time #
# I wanna get by #
# And that's fine #
# Me, myself, myself and I|Just me, myself and I #
# Me, myself, myself and I|Just me, myself and I ##
Thanks for the I ift, Frank.|We'll take it from here. You got it, Mr. Stroog.
Here's my card. If you need|a ride, give me a shout-out.
Thanks.
[Man ]|Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Ron, your driver,|and I am Arthur, your tour guide.
So, what's the plan?.
When we get to Wolf's building,|we jump off, infiltrate his office,
make him admit|he stole my story.
That's it?. That's the lamest|plan I've ever heard.
Trust me.|It's gonna work.
[Tour Guide ]|So stay tuned.
This is the back lot where|many of our hit movies are made.
And speaking of movies, in just|a few days we're beginning filming...
next summer's smash sensation--|Come on, fol low me.
Big Fat Liar!
Excuse me, guard?.|Where's stage two?.
Security! Let's go!
Can I take a moment to say:|How totally awesome is this?.
[ Phone Rings ]|Marty Wolf Pictures.
Please hold.
Marty Wolf Pictures.|Please hold. Can I help you?.
We're here to see Marty Wolf.|Do you have|an appointment?.
I ask you,
Astrid,|what kind of sick world this is...
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"Big Fat Liar" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 31 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/big_fat_liar_4044>.
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