Big Fat Liar Page #7
I just-- I--|Do not touch!
[Car Brakes Squealing]
Hey! Everything okay here?.
Urkel.Jaleel.
Oh, my God, my man. This is incredible.|You gotta get me outta here, buddy.
- Hop in.|- No, no!
Mr. Wolf, please, no.|Please, no.|It's locked.
My pincer--|Can you unlock--|No, no, no.
[ Stammering, Protesting ]|No, Mr. Wolf!. Please.|Drive!
Sayonara, loser.
[ Sobbing ]
F-Man to J-Dog. F-Man to J-Dog.|The baton has been passed.
Roger that, F-Man.|Well done.
Who's the bad actor now,|Mr. Wolf?. Those were real tears!
K-Bird, the baton|has been passed.
Got it.
Nice car!|TV money, baby.
Didn't wear those glasses and suspenders|all those years for free, dog.
That's a relief. Do you, uh--|Do you know where you're goin'?.
Takin' a shortcut. Look,|just throw your seat back|and relax, Wolf Man.
- You're in Jaleel's hands now.|- [ Laughs ]
Okay.|Whoo!
[ Yelps ] You did a fishtail!|That was a close one.
Oh, yeah!
##[Rap]|Yeah, baby!
Whoo! Yeah!|Where in the hell|are you taking me?.
I told you. I know a shortcut.|Through the desert?
Slow down, you maniac!|I'm gettin' out!
- It's your call, baby.|- I'm gonna do it.
- Do what you gotta do.|- I am gettin' out, pal.
Go!
## [Rap Continues ]|Not bad.|Yo,Jaleel at the wheel.
The condor has flown the coop.|Roger that,J-Dub.|Wait. What does that mean?.
Means I'm leavin' Wolf|in the middle ofthe desert.|Urkel is out! Whoo!
[ Grunts ]
[ Screams ]
[ Dialing ]
Ah, Monty, it's me.
Oh, hey, Marty.|Is everything okay?.
No, no, no.|Everything is fine.
Except, uh, oh, yeah.|I'm stuck in the middle of the desert!
Do you hear what I am saying to you?.|The what?.
The desert!|You gotta get me outta here.
How?.|I don't care how, Monty!Just do it!
[ Disconnects ]
Ready to go Wolfhunting?.
I borrowed the chopper|from the shoot.
You're in good hands, Wolf.|I flew 49 combat missions in Vietnam.
All right. Save me|the sob story, Methuselah.
I already sat through Platoon.
Just get me to the set!
[ Laughs ]
# Right here|Right now#
# Right here|Right now #
# Right here|Right now #
- # Right here, right now #|- This is Father Time.|We're headed your way.
Roger that, F.T.
- They're airborne.|- Copy that.
Let's punch a hole in the sky,|Grandpa. Go, go, go!
Let's get a tail wind behind this bird,|old-timer. [ Whooping]
## [Rap ]
Brando to base. Brando to base.|The sheep has located the|Shepherds and we're coming home.
Yes!
[ Beeping ]
Oh, boy.
What's that?.|What's happening?.
One of our blades is jammed.|We're gonna have to do a forced evac.
What-- What are you|talking about?.
Come on, we gotta jump.|This bird is going down!
[ Beeping ]
Aah!
Are you kidding me?.|I wish I was.
You're gonna have to hold on tight.|We've only got one chute.
I hope it supports us both.
Wait! This is insanity!|Vince!
Have you done this before?.
Oh, don't worry, Wolf.|I'm a professional.
Granddad's been doin' this|a long, long time.
[ Laughs ]|Vince!
[Beeping Continues ]
This is Chopper One to Control.|Papa Bear and the Wolf|have left the building.
# Right here|Right now##
Not like this!|Oh, sweet God! Not like this!
Aaaah!
Ah. Hello, sir.
- Where's Wolf?.|- Uh, late.
Bad.
[Phone Ringing]
- Hello?.|- I'm on the lot, Monty!|I'll be there in a minute!
- Marty!|- I'm not lying.
Just stall Duncan another|second. Okay?. I'm coming.
- Hey, Wolf.|- How's it hangin', Shepherd?.
[ Funnybones Squeaks ]
[ Gasps ]
Gimme back my monkey.
- Come and get him.|- [ Sighs ]
You two! Good-bye!
I'm comin', Funnybones!
[ Yells ]
## ["Deck The Halls"]
Look out!
Come on!
Right behind ya, Shepherd!
## [Mexican ]
You can't out run the Wolf, kid!
Yeah, we'll see about that.
Hang on, Funnybones,|Daddy's coming!
He's all yours, Lester.
- [ Computer Beeps ]|- Activate water.
Aaah!
Who's the geek boy now?.|You spaz!
This is it, Monty. Ifhe's not here|in 60 seconds, this movie's over.
Right up there is where|the big stunt is taking place.
This way.
"Help! Come and rescue me, Marty."
Feet, don't fail me now.
[ Moans ]
Let go of the monkey.
- Call my dad.|- Never.
- Yes.|- No!
Ah! Gotcha, kid.
It's over.|You lose, and I win.
I don't think so, Wolf.|Oh, you don't think so?.
Come on,Jason.|You're smarter than that.
You write a story,|I steal it, and now I'm|about to start shooting...
the greatest movie|of my career.
So you admit|you stole my story?.
We've been over this.|It's ancient history.
Yeah, I stole your story!|Whoop-di-doodle-doo!|You happy now?.
I stoleJason Shepherd's paper|and turned it into Big Fat Liar!
You know who's listening, pal?.|Hmm?. No one.
And they never will.|So for the last time, give it up!
Because I will never, ever, ever--|like never, ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever--|infinity--
tell the truth.|[ Blowing Raspberry ]
Because the truth's overrated, right?.
That's right!|[Man ]|And cut!
Huh?.
I told you, Wolf. The only way|to shoot this scene is from|1 2 different camera angles...
with birds flyin' around.
Oh, and, by the by,
Confucius say,|"Kastang, you're busted."
Rock 'n' roll, baby.
It's just like you wanted, Wolf.
The press is all here.
You stole the idea for this|movie from a 1 3-year-old boy?.
He's, um--
He's 1 4.
This is the end ofthe line, Wolf.
It's over.
[ Growls ]
Wolf, I wanna say thanks.
You taught me|a valuable lesson.
The truth:
|It's not overrated.[ Laughing ]
I am gonna get you, Shepherd!
[Screams ]
[ Applauding ]
You did all this just|to prove you weren't lying?.
I wanted to earn|your trust back, Dad.
You've earned it, buddy.|You've earned it.
Hey!
[ Laughs ]|We got a movie to shoot. Huh?.
Come on.|Let's make some magic.
The human hit factory|is ready to roll!
[ Laughs ]
Yeah, let's go home.
Hey, where do you think|you're going?.
You cannot turn your backs|on me!
I'm Marty Wolf!.|All right, fine!
Fine! You're all fired!
[Man]|You suck, Marty.
You, uh, certainly know|how to make an entrance.
What can I say?. I got big feet.
[ Laughs ]
You were right, Penny.|The truth: It's not overrated.
[Audience Applauding]
Whoo!
Oh, oh!
Congratulations.|It was incredible.
[ Rings ]
[ Sighs ]|It's show time.
Hey, kids.|I'm Wolfie the Clown.
Whoo! And, uh, "I'm Mr. Funnybones!|Happy birthday, Darren."
- Oh, my God!|- Oh, no.
Yo, Little Mash.|Show him your nutcracker.
[ Yells ]
- [ Kids Cheering ]|- [ Screaming ]
[ Groans ]
# Can you move it like this #
# Can you move it like this #
# Can you move it like this #
# Come on, ladies|rock the party #
# Shake your body, everybody #
# Come on, everybody #
# Let's move it all night #
# Uh, uh-huh #
# Gonna take you back|to the old school #
# Can you feel the vibe #
# Let's dance to the rhythm|and let me see you #
# Why you waste time #
# Uh, uh-huh #
#Jump back and do the twist #
1 fan
Submitted on August 05, 2018
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"Big Fat Liar" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/big_fat_liar_4044>.
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