Big Fat Liar Page #6

You're all probably wondering|why I'm blue and orange.

[ Everyone Laughs ]|Just go with me for a second.

You see, uh, Big Fat Liar.

B.F.L. " Bfl "|as it's come to be known,

is full of action, romance,|effects-- oh,you bet!

But what it lacks right now|is a message.

Trooper's girlfriend makes|this new potion which is|supposed to make him shrink.

[ In Earpiece ] But instead,|it causes him to change color.

[ Faking A Cough ] Why?.|Because now, the twist is...

he can't even lie|about his feelings anymore.

You see, his girlfriend, Penny,|she makes Trooper an antidote...

which, instead of curing him-- whoa--|causes him to change colors.

When he's bummed out|about stuff, he turns blue.

- When depressed, he turns blue.|- When he's mad, his hair turns red.

When he's angry, boom!

His curly locks turn the color|of a flaming brushfire!

But when he discovers the ultimate|truth that he's in love with Penny,

the softest shade of pink...

finds its wayacross his visage.

I didn't tell him to say that!

Wolf, what are you doing?.|You're not listening to me.

Just stick to the plan--|[ Yelps ]

I'm sorry. The emotions|in this movie are just so painful.

They are painful because--

'cause they hit home,|right here... in the old corazon.

Who among us hasn't told|a little white lie?|I have.

Anybody else?. You?.|[Man ]|Guilty.

You?. It's all right,|don't be ashamed, brother,|because I am right there with you.

I am right there with you.

You're all right, man.|Because our picture...

looks the audience|right in the eye...

and says enough is enough!

Lying has gotta stop.

The truth and the truth alone|shall set you free!

Friends, God bless all of you.

God bless America,

and God bless Big Fat Liar!

[ Cheering ]

Very impressive, Marty.

Now, does this mean that you|will approve the budget?.|You start shooting tomorrow.

That's great.|But if anything, and I mean|anything, goes wrong,

your movie, your deal|at the studio...

and your career|will be over, you hear me?.

Okay.

Hey-o!|[ Laughs ]

Shepherd, you are|a genius, buddy! Huh?.|[ Imitating Punches Landing ]

You ready to make that call?.|Time to let my fingers|do the walking.

- Here's my dad's phone number.|- All right. Ah, Daddy.

Ah. Hello,|this is MartyWolf.

I am standing here in mykitchen|withJason Shepherd.

I'm lookin' at him as we speak.

And you better bring backup.|[ Phone Disconnects ]

What are you doing?. I thought|you were on the phone with my dad.

Oh, I was on the phone, all right,|but it ain't with your old man.

You're a real piece ofwork, Shepherd.|Who are you?.

Rocco Malone, head of security|for Marty Wolf Pictures.

Thanks for all your help,|kid. Really.

Savin' my butt twice in one year.|Who would've "thunk"it?

Let's go, kid. Come on,|you too, Punky Brewster.

You can't do this.|We have a witness!

Hey, first lesson in Hollywood,|sweetheart. Always get it in writing!

What a day!

Here's the deal. The two of you|are gonna get on a plane,

go back home, forget this|ever happened-- clear?.

Good. Let's go get|you two guys packed up, huh?.

I can't believe|we're just gonna give up.

You're Jason Shepherd.|You can get out of anything.

Come on. You must have|a phase four up your sleeve.

Yeah. I guess I do.

[Phone Dialing]

- Hello?.|- Dad?. It's Jason.

- Hey.|- I haven't--

I haven't been totally honest|about what I've been up to|the last couple of days.

And, uh, I think it's time|I told you the truth.

The truth?.|[ Sighs ]

Hey, Rocco. Hey.

Hey.

Why don't you head home?.|I'll take the kids to the airport.

- You sure?.|- Yeah. I was gonna be up all night...

rewriting Wolf's script anyway,|so it's no problem.

All right then. I'm gettin' too old|for this baby-sittin' anyway.

You take it easy.

Good night.|Good night.

You know what the worst part|of this whole thing is?.

Wolf is just going to keep|getting away with it.

He treats all these people|like dirt, and no one has|the guts to stand up to him.

- Forget it, Kaylee.|- I can't forget it.

It just makes me sick that your|parents are never gonna know|that you wrote that story.

What are we supposed to do?.|My parents are gonna be here|in the morning!

We tried everything.|It would take an army|to get Wolf to admit the truth.

I think I know where|we could find our troops.

- What areyou doing here?.|- I've been pushed around|by Wolffor too long.

Tomorrow his whole career|is on the line.

So you guys up|for one last fight?.

Jas?.

It's payback time.

Mmm. You've got to look good|for the first day of shooting.

Do you copy that, Mr. Funny bones?.

"That's a big 1 0-4, Marty!'

[ Laughs ]|Mmm. Whoo!

I brought you all here|tonight for two reasons.

"A" you're all the best|in your given fields.

And "B" you all|despise this man... a lot.

Gang, let's roll up our sleeves|and get to work.

Let's begin.|Your assignments.

Red team, you guys stall him|until my parents get to the set.

Oh! That's it. Oh!|One more! Oh! That's it!

Blue team, I need your help|in the distract and delay tactics.

Gold team, you guys are responsible|for the mental warfare.

In order to get what we need,|we are talking...

complete physical and|psycho-emotional breakdown, people.

- Oh, oh, oh, oh.|- I want to see a broken man.

I'm talking broken like,

"Ooh, I just threw a baseball|through your window" broken.

Snap him like a twig.|Squeeze him like a bug.

I want you to turn him into mincemeat,|and I don't even know what mincemeat is!

I want him to scream|for his mommy: "Wah, wah!

Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!'|Do you hear me?.

Do you read me?.|'Cause I don't think--

I... think they read you.|Fair enough.

Guys, I just got one thing to say.

It's show time.|It's show time.

From the studio?.|Yes, sir.

Don't I know you?.|Yeah, you do.

I'm Frank Jackson. I was your driver|last year until you fired me.

Fabulous! Oh!

Boy, the acting career|must really be taking off.

Bravo, Brando. Let's get movin'.|I don't wanna be late.

[ Phone Rings ]|Yeah.|Monty, it's me.

Oh, hey, Marty. Did you get|some rest for the big day?.

Ah, are you kidding me?.|I spent half the night with a scrub|brush and a can of turpentine.

But bye-bye, Little Boy Blue,|I am back!

Hey, pedal to the metal,|Ricky Retardo!

Got a movie to shoot.

Uh, I'm sorry, sir. There seems to be|something... wrong with the car.

[ Phone Disconnects ]

[ Sighs ]

I'm gonna fix it.

Hot smoke.|Very hot smoke! Oh.

What the hell is happening?.|Stay right there.

- What?.|- No, Mr. Wolf. Don't come up here.

We have a situation.|The carbide lateral valve...

is connected to the defibrillator,|and it'sjust actin' up.

And the point is, this thing could blow|any second, so you might wanna back up.

Back up, back up.|Okay. What are you saying?.

The engine's fried.|I need a backup car.

Are you kidding me?.|My movie starts shooting in an hour!

Mr. Wolf, please.|I would very much appreciate it|if you didn'tyell at me. Okay?.

Uh-uh, uh-uh.|I wanna do right--

[ Stammering ]|Don't! Don't touch, dude!

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