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Big Fat Liar Page #5
If Duncan doesn't approve|the new budget, we can't|start shooting tomorrow.
[ Laughing ] I don't think|you understand, Monty. I'm blue.
Aw, come on.|Now, we all have our off days.
[ Laughing ]
No, I mean I'm literally--
And I've got orange--|[ Groans ]
Come on, Wolf Man.
Okay, forget it.
Give me his address.|I'll figure something out.
Copy that.
Did you come up with an ending|for the scriptyet?.
I'm working on it.
I'm headed across the lot|to do some research, but...|I could use a little help.
Monty, I am writing and producing|a major motion picture.
I don't have time to work on|the script! That's your job.
Now, stop wasting time|and get to work!
I'm 24 hours away from the most|important shoot of my career.
Wolf out!|Ow! Oh, G--
- Get glasses, Grandma!|- Upyours, blue boy!
Aah.
[ Car Lock Chirps ]
- Yeah, I'm, uh--|- [ Speaking Spanish ]
Uh-huh.
Got the alarm codes?|I'm all over it.
Rough. Sister,|I invented the word rough.
Duncan will be eating|sugar cubes out of my hand by|the time I'm finished with him.
Right.
What the--
It's the clown! Let's hurt him!|[ Yelling ]
Excuse me--
- [ Screaming ]|- I need backup!
[Boy]|Incoming!
[ All Yelling ]
I'm a very powerful|Hollywood producer!
What am I doing here?|Don't touch that, don't|touch that, don't touch--
You kids are all gonna|be hearing from my lawyer!|Don't let him get away!
Get off of me!|You wanna dance, kid?. Let's dance!
You want a piece of me?.|You want a piece of me?.
You're going down, clown!
Good, bring it! I'm Marty Wolf!.|You have any idea who I am?.
Come on, four eyes, huh?.
Hey, head's up, clown!
[Boy]|You're not even funny, clown!
[ Line Ringing ] Hello?.|Monty, where the hell|did you send me?.
Because it sure|wasn't Duncan's house!|How was I supposed to know?.
Don't speak,just listen.|Whatever you do, you gotta|get me in there with Duncan!
I'll just reschedule|the meeting, Marty! Geez!
Okay. That's all|you had to say.
Adios, sugarpuff!.|[ Shouts ]
[ Horn Honking ]|Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- What the--|- [ Honking Stops ]
[ Sighs ]
## [ Car Radio:
Loud Rock ]## [Rock Continues ]
Stop!
Hey, Marty, I like your new coloring.|It works foryou.
You did this?.|Yup.
And it can end anytime.|All you have to do is make|one phone call to my dad.
Shouldn't be much of a|problem since that headset|is superglued toyour ear!
Here's my dad's number.
Hi.
Call me.|Bye-bye.
Rotten kids!
[ Horn Honking,|Alarm Blaring ]
Shepherd!
[ Alarm Blaring,|Loud Rock Blaring ]
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[ Horn Honks ]
- That's it!|- [ Noises Stop ]
Oh... my... God!
I'm gonna kill you!|Take it easy, man.|It wasn't my fault.
- The oldbag rear-endedme.|- Eat my boobies, blue boy!
That's very nice. That's really charming|from a woman of your advanced years.
Have a nice day!|It's just the tire.
You're gonna pay for this!
All right, listen... "Masher"|I'm sure we can come to|some monetary arrangement.
Yeah, that's what I thought,|tough guy!
- Who's the tough guy now, pal?.|- [ Tires Squealing ]
Oh, no. Come on.
No, dude, no.|Back off, man! No way!
[Screaming]
Two meetings in a row, Monty.
This is not the way to get on|the new president's good side.
I'm sorry, sir.
I'm sure there must be|some explanation.
They told me to pick up|a little blue car.
They didn't say anything about|a little blue man!
[Laughing]
[ Phone Rings ]|You got the Wolf.
Where are you?.|I am at Duncan's office right now!
I'm, uh--|I'm not gonna make it.
You, uh, tell him it's|your fault and reschedule.
I am not gonna lie to the new|president ofthe studio, Marty.
Don't get all high and mighty|on me, Monty, 'cause if |I go down, you're ridin' shotgun,
Tootsie Roll-- now,|make something up!
And I'll smooth things over|with him at the premiere.
- Fine.|- Wolf, out!
Hi, everybody. I'm Pat O'Brien,|and welcome to Tinseltown.
Well, here we are again,|this time at the world premiere|of producer Marty Wolf's...
action comedy,|Whitaker and Fowl.
So this must be a very|exciting evening for you.
Oh, yes! You know, it's just good|to get the past behind me...
and finally be taken|seriously as an actor.
Can I give a shout-out?.|Oh, my God,|it's the chicken!
[ Clucking ]
[ Crowd Clamoring, Applauding ]|Whitaker, over here!
Well, it looks like all of Hollywood|has turned out for this one.
But the question is,|where is Marty Wolf?.
Oh!|[ Woman ]|Oh, sweet Moses!
What is that?|Don't look in his eyes.
- Hey there, Marty.|- H-Hi!
Ready to end this?.
[ Laughs ]|Oh, kid.
You have no idea|who you are dealing with.
You think I care about|a couple of little pranks?. Nah.
[ Laughs ]|See you around, Shepherd.
[Phone Dialing]
[Phone Ringing]|Hello?.
This is J-Dog calling K-Bird.|Repeat,J-Dog calling K-Bird.
-Jas, is that you?.|- Yeah. I'm using code names.
Wolf didn't throw in the towel.|We're moving into phase three.
- What's phase three?.|- We're goin' to our first|Hollywood soiree.
I didn't know what to expect,|but all ofa sudden|it's like bam! Bad movie!
Can you say "boring"?.
Like when you did Saved by|the Bell. Quality, okay?.
I mean, substance.|Worst film in the world.
[ Whitaker Clucking,|Guests Chattering]
Whoa! There he is!
El Presidente.|## [ Humming "Hail to the Chief" ]
Ah. And his wife,|the very lovely Shaniqua.
It's Shandra.|Great to see ya.
Well?. I mean, I think|they loved it! Don'tyou?.
I think that sad excuse for a movie|just lost the studio $30 million.
I'm pulling the plug|on Big Fat Liar.
- What?.|- It's over, Wolf.
Look,just hear me out.
The truth is-- Would you|excuse us please, Shananny?.
The truth is, I missed those|meetings because I had...
an incredible breakthrough on B.F.L.,|which I was working on all day,
and I wanted to wait until we were|in front of the entire industry...
to make mypresentation.
One chance, Wolf,|that's all I'm givin' you.|And that's all I need.
Strap on your seat belt,|Dr. Duncanstein,
because you are|about to be blown away.
- Monty!|- Sorry. Marty!
God! What's going on?.
What is this big presentation|you're giving about the movie?.
I have no idea! None!
None. It is--|[ Blows Raspberry]
- I can help you.|- [ Gasps ]
Why do you keep|showing up in my life?.
Sounds like you need to come up with|some big idea for Big Fat Liar. Right?.
What?.
Some ten-year-oldkidis gonna|tell me how to fix my entire movie?
First of all, I'm 1 4.|Second of all, I created the story.
You think I can't at least|come up with a few good twists?
- Uh-huh.|- No--
You mean that this kid|really did write Big Fat Liar?
Uh-- No, he wrote|a little English paper...
with the same title--|big deal.
I-It's-- It--|Uh--
He's--
- Don't do it,Jason.|- Kid.
I swear to you,|you get me out of this mess,
and I'll tell your dad|you wrote Big Fat Liar,
Erin Brockovich and|Saving Private Ryan too.
Uh, ladies and gentlemen.
Friends! Uh, if I can have your|attention for just a moment, please?.
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"Big Fat Liar" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/big_fat_liar_4044>.
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