Big Trouble Page #6

Snake.

- Who are you?

- You talking to me?

- Uh-huh.

- I'm your worst nightmare.

I want you to lower the gun

and get the hell out of here.

Otherwise, I bust a cap

and drop this loser.

I ain't going nowhere without

that kingpin's suitcase.

Take it.

On second thought,

why don't you just waste him?

Better yet,

I'll do it for you.

moron number two just got

moron number one all wet.

Gimme.

I- I ain't never seen that.

They got enough stuff back there

to fight a war in North Korea,

but no suitcase, and Ivan

here doesn't seem to know

what suitcase

I'm talking about.

Ivan, I know

what you're thinking.

You're thinking you can use the

suitcase as a bargaining chip.

You tell us where it is,

we go easy on you.

I- I bet that's

what you're thinking.

Isn't it, Ivan?

Don't be a baby, Ivan.

It's just your foot.

It's what we at the bureau

call an extremity shot.

Generally,

the victim survives.

They don't do so good with

what we call a torso shot.

What you think, Ivan?

You want to experience

a torso shot?

I tell you who has suitcase.

- I'd get a bolt lock for this.

There's some really bad people

out there.

We're out of phone cord.

What about him?

Snake;

He's coming with us.

- So is she.

- No!

- Where are we going?

- The Bahamas.

I hear they go pretty easy

on kingpins in the Bahamas.

money.

Excuse me?

There's 5 grand

in my pocket!

Okay.

Kingpins ain't so tough.

What you driving?

Chevy Caprice with a 354 barrel

and positraction.

Not bad.

Keys.

I'm not getting

into that Fag Jag again.

It's built by Ford now.

Okay.

Let's go.

Eddie.

Yeah?

Eddie, you drive.

Britney Spears, in the back.

Eddie...

Let's go.

moses,

you're flying coach.

Got enough leg room?

Buckle up, ma'am.

Let's go.

I ain't never drove

one of these before.

It ain't a spaceship, a**hole.

Drive.

The gate.

No sh*t. Back up slow.

It'll open.

You got the brake on,

a**hole.

Don't call me...

...A**hole!

- mrs. Anna!

Nina! They took Jenny!

Quick, quick!

Come on.

Here - grab this.

You don't wanna push - pull.

I'm going after them.

Okay,

I'm going with you!

Yeah, me too.

I love Puggy!

Hey, wait.

Wait for me!

I'm the police!

monica, you got to

get yourself loose.

Call Dispatch. Tell them to

get somebody out to the airport.

- I'll handle this.

- Walter!

If you remember,

call that number.

Tell a miss Heather Weintraub

I might be late.

- Walter!

- Walter!

That boy leads an interesting

life, don't he?

What are you doing'?

He's attached to the cop.

That copper can't do anything to

us cuffed to that shelving unit.

Even though that shelf is

brass, it's not the cheap stuff.

All the phone lines are cut. We gotta

get outside and yell for the neighbors.

- Help me.

You can't make me!

Help me or I will crush you

like a goddamn bug.

Just take the shot and let's

get the hell to the airport.

You got it. The longer we stay

down here, the weirder it gets.

You got that right -

Weirdsville, USA.

- Damn!

- What the hell are you doing?

On three, we're gonna smash

this thing through the door.

Like sh*t, we are!

One, two...

That's glass, you moron.

You're gonna get us killed!

- ... Three!

- No! No! No, no, no!

- Did you get him?

- I think so. He went down.

- Cop went down, too.

- Goddamn dog.

Weirdsville, USA.

You got that right.

Get up!

Ugh! Ugh! It got my face!

It got my face!

We can get some help

if we can get this thing up.

You okay there, officer?

Who are you?

Pat Greer. Alan Seitz.

Herk?

Yeah, that's Herk.

Can you uncuff me?

Not now.

mr. Herk, I'm with the FBl.

I need to know

where that suitcase is.

Oh, my God,

she's coming to get me!

- The dog, mr. Herk?

- No, her!

- Who?

- You know!

Her!

Herk! Herk! Herk! Herk!

Oh, my God!

She knows my name!

She knows everything!

She's coming to take my soul!

- mr. Herk, can you hear me?

mr. Herk, can you hear me?

This is very important.

I need to know

where that suitcase is.

Oh, God! Please don't let her

take my soul!

Please don't. Please.

What the hell

is he talking about?

I don't know.

How close did

he get to that toad?

Like face-first.

Bufotenine -

hell of an hallucinogen.

He's gone. He won't be coming

back any time soon.

- Discovery Channel.

- Oh, please, don't hurt me!

Listen, we have reason to believe

that mr. Herk had a suitcase,

possibly made of metal,

very heavy.

- Have you seen it?

- Yeah, they had it.

- Who's "they"?

- An idiot named Snake.

Him and a possibly even bigger

idiot took the suitcase,

two hostages, and what sounded

like my squad car, so -

- Where did they go?

- You wanna know?

- Take me with you.

- We don't have time for games.

This is a very important

federal matter.

Hey,

if you don't uncuff me,

you can stick your very

important federal matter

right up

your big federal ass.

Turn right!

Can't you see the sign?

- You sure they said the airport?

- Absolutely. They kept talking about the Bahamas.

Did anybody open

that suitcase?

Not that I saw.

What's in it?

The guy we left back there,

the frog kisser -

Uh, actually, it's a toad.

Anyway, the toad lover's

an illegal weapons trader.

Weapons? That's what's in

the suitcase? You mean guns?

Well, how bad can it be,

right? It's a suitcase.

We're not talking about

a nuclear bomb, right?

Right?

Okay, we gotta pick a road.

Arrivals or departures?

We're arriving,

but... then we're departing.

Which one, Snake?

What do you think?

I think you guys

should turn yourselves in

and plead not guilty

by reason of stupidity.

Departures.

It'll be okay.

- Dad!

Was that a goat?

Dad!

- Where did they get that stuff?

- Russia.

- Don't the Russians have controls on that kind of thing?

- You'd faint if you knew.

A few months ago,

somebody got a warhead

out of a missile-dismantlement

facility in a place called -

Sergijev Posad -

not far from moscow.

Beautiful churches there.

Travel Channel.

Anyway, somebody who knew what

they were doing modified it.

Dumped it on some guys who run a

place here called The Jolly Jackal.

The bar?

That bar has more AK-47s

than Budweiser.

- So can they set it off?

- Best we know, flip three switches,

and you got 45 minutes

to clear out.

45 minutes.

man, I guess it was bound

to happen one day.

What makes you think

this is the first time?

Never mind

which time this is.

The important thing is we got those

a**holes trapped at the airport,

and until we say further,

no plane is taking off.

You can do that?

Okay, let's go.

I'm gonna have this

pointed right at you,

so don't do

something stupid.

How would you even know

if I did something stupid?

I'll know. Believe me,

I can tell the difference.

Eddie, open the trunk.

If you don't do like I say,

you know what's gonna happen

to you, right?

- You're gonna shoot me?

- You got that right.

Okay, let's go.

Bring the suitcase.

I hope you're not gonna

give me a ticket for this.

If I don't see them,

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