Big Trouble In Little China Page #4

You seem to be one who knows

the difficulties between men and women,

how seldom it works out.

And yet we all keep trying, like fools.

Who are these people? Friends of yours?

Now this really pisses me off to no end!

- Come on, stick around!

- Where's Miao Yin? In this building?

- Safe.

- Where is she?

Safe.

Safer with me than any creature on earth!

Go ahead. You want bad publicity?

Give us the run-around.

But this woman has a deadline,

and her pen is mightier than your sword.

- Yeah.

- No visitors.

- I don't make the policy around here.

- Come on, man! Give 'em a tour.

What's it gonna hurt?

I can help you.

- Are you OK, Jack?

- Yeah.

We're in a room.

No windows, a few skeletons.

- Where's the light coming from?

- The floor.

With the easing of trade restrictions,

next year we'll start importing

a lot of strange things from Peking.

What sort of strange things?

Are we going up or down?

It feels like down.

Great. Thank you, Jack.

I think we've come up. First we went down.

Now they've brought us up.

Two, three feet thick, I'll bet. Probably

welded shut and covered with brick by now.

- Don't give up, Jack.

- OK. Let's just chew our way outta here!

Lo Pan has plans for us,

or we'd be dead doornails.

Which Lo Pan? Little old basket case

on wheels, or the ten-foot-tall roadblock?

- One and the same person, Jack.

- You know something you're not tellin' me.

Myths and legends.

- I don't wanna insult you.

- No, no. Go ahead.

Insult me.

It's about all sorts of scary things:

an ancient army of the dead,

the Spirit City and monkey sacrifices.

The First Sovereign Emperor of China,

that mad monarch who federated our

seven warring states, defeated Lo Pan

and imposed upon him

that horrible curse of no flesh in 272 BC.

A lot of Chinese hear these things

when we're kids, then we grow up,

and pretend not to believe them.

- No horseshit, Wang.

- No horseshit, Jack.

I don't blame you. I'm Chinese and I don't

even wanna believe it, but it's for real.

Sorcery, the Chinese black magic.

Blindfolds!

You make one move...

Now, let's try that again.

Don't make me kill you, tough guy.

Come on, Jack!

- Come on!

- How?

- Great work, Jack.

- Yeah.

We're all in:
me, Gracie and Margo. Uncle Chu

and Egg are in Egg's bus, ready to get us out.

- Right.

- Here, Jack.

I'll trade ya.

All right, which way?

Fast, before they wake up.

There, I think. Down there.

No pathetic excuses.

I smell the blood of human beings.

Find them. Boil them until their flesh falls off.

You heard me!

Empty.

I need you, Miao Yin.

You, whose eyes flash like emerald lightning.

Ch'ing-ti, make me flesh again soon.

Please.

Let's go. It's clear.

Safety!

Wang!

First time you ever plugged somebody?

- Course not.

- Come on!

You wanna go up or down?

- Up or down?

- Up.

All has become strange.

A world so unreal and yet,

at once, so frightening.

Open up or I'll blow his head off!

Open! Or he dies in the name of Ch'ing-ti

and your souls speed with his

to the hell of the oily dragon!

- You all right?

- Yeah.

- Margo!

- Jack!

- Where's Gracie?

- On the floor next door. She's a wildcat.

- How are you gonna spring us?

- I have no idea.

That way maybe.

Wang, haul ass!

Come on, keep movin'!

Margo, jump in!

- In there? Are you nuts?

- Go!

- Where's Margo?

- I don't know.

Where are we?

- Where's Eddie?

- Beats me.

Where's Jack?

Jack!

Jack?

Jack!

- Sorry, I'm just thrilled to be alive.

- Yeah, sure. Let's go.

- It's like some giant garbage disposal.

- I think it is, sort of.

Will you just stop rubbing

your body up against mine?

I can't concentrate when you do that.

What a pig you are, Burton! I mean, really!

- Where's Jack?

- It's OK. Everybody relax. I'm here.

Jack, I know where we are.

This is a central... what do you call it?

- Sewer?

- Yeah. Water comes in up there.

Seawater from the bay fills this room. They

divert it through pipes to different chambers.

I bet up there's where

we first got on that elevator.

All right, we're almost outta here.

From here on, it gets normal.

Offices, storerooms: a nice false front.

I count to three, open the door, and we go.

- Everybody got that?

- Ready?

Follow the leader. One, two, three.

We may be trapped.

Hide!

- Hide?

- Hide! They only saw me!

We fight together, Jack. Do or die.

Time to go.

The bus is right outside in the parking lot.

Here's the deal. I run interference and

you bring up the rear. Can you handle that?

Can you?

Well, what a night's work!

You got a problem like that again,

- you reach for the sky!

- Let's go!

Come on, come on.

- You're doin' real good, guys.

- Come on, Jack!

Let's go! Open the doors!

- Hurry!

- Move it, Egg!

Duck!

We made it. Holy sh*t, we made it!

- Where's Miao Yin?

- Inside.

Somewhere inside.

Where's Gracie?

Put me down, you overstuffed monster!

Let me go! Let me go!

What does it mean?

Two girls with green eyes?

After all these years.

You bastards! Unchain me! You're not

gonna get away with this. Where's Lo Pan?

This one has fire as well!

Listen,

I've had it up to here with you maniacs.

I wanna see that disgusting

flesh-peddler David Lo Pan in person.

Unless the coward's afraid to see

an unarmed girl one-on-one!

Where is he?

You know what this is?

This is like some radical Alice In Wonderland.

- That's what this is.

- Then you've got a best seller on your hands.

- Call the police. You're not a one-man army.

- Cops got better things to do than get killed.

Here he is, Jack.

No, these are our friends.

These are the Chang Sings.

- Any of 'em savvy English?

- Hey, man. Who is this guy?

All right. You got any guns?

Not against Lo Pan, but here's one for you

to make you feel better, like Dirty Harry.

I'll stick with these. You comin' with us, Egg?

Of course, Jack. It's my destiny. Besides,

if I don't you'll never make it out alive.

- I'm on board too then.

- Yeah, sure, kid.

- You can't keep the press out. It's America.

- You're not going back there.

You're stayin' here with Eddie and Uncle Chu.

- Eddie? But he's...

- He's got a crush on you.

- You mean like you've got on Gracie?

- Are you kidding? I just want my truck back.

What do I know?

She's not even your type. All brains.

Come on, let's go!

Play your cards right, you live to talk about it.

Oh, boy.

Are you OK? Are you Miao Yin?

Yes. Miao Yin.

- Who are you?

- Lo Pan.

You have come to seek me out

with your green eyes.

Yes.

- No, no.

- Yes.

- What's going on here? Some kind of...?

- Magic. The darkest magic.

My soul swims in it, scattered across time,

trapped in the world of formlessness.

Until I find her and marry her.

Marry her?

The girl with green eyes.

The girl who can tame the burning blade.

Miao Yin or Grace Law.

- Great start. It's the other way.

- The front door will get you nowhere.

- Here, let me hold that.

- A brave man likes to feel nature on his face.

And a wise man has enough sense

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