Big White Page #6

in it, somebody else is already there.

Stop that!

Hey, let me ask you something.

Does this look normal?

Oh, Christ!

I read that if it changes color,

you should have it looked at.

Yeah... but not by me!

Hello?

Oh, thank f***ing Christ! Is Tiffany there?

No, well, she's gonna be

back in a couple of minutes.

Do you want to call back later?

Well, you should know, fuckwit.

Do you know there's a man with a gun

in my bathroom right now?

Goddammit, Ted.

Oh, wait, yeah, she's right here.

One second.

Mrs. Barnell?

I'm here, Margaret.

How're you feeling today?

Give me the headset.

What is wrong with you?

Christ! Where do you want to start?

Mrs. Barnell could you speak up a bit?

What's she saying?

Something about the Gay Mafia taking

her to a park to kill her?

Margaret, now are you sure

that these are real people in your house?

Sh*t on toast.

Jesus! F***ing dog.

Watch out for Jodie.

How do you like the bubbles now?

You want to squeak your duck again?

Jesus!

- That really hurts, you know?

- Good!

Why are the flowers talking?

Are you sure this is it?

She specifically mentioned

the cocksucking turnout off the highway

where the snowmobilers like to hang out.

I'll call you later, okay?

I won't be here.

Excuse me?

I know relationships aren't gonna be

all sunshine and roses,

but I'm not really having

that much fun anymore,

and I don't think you are, either.

What are you talking about?

I just I think you need to be

like this right now,

and I'm not in a good space to deal with it.

So, what?

I just, I don't think we should be

like this together.

Psychic Pals.

How are you today, Mr. Williams?

I think she'd be fine with you re-marrying.

But hang on, let me concentrate...

I've been... I've been cutting

you out of my life

and, as a result, our normal communication

channels have been blocked.

And I think that you coming with me

would further the development

of our relationship

and allow us both to realize the...

the potential of our interpersonalism.

If you're gonna be sarcastic...

I'm not being anything.

Okay. Why do you want me to come?

Because if you don't,

then... then I'll have to stay.

And then, then I'll be mad about that.

And then, and then I know that

we'll eventually break up over it.

And as bad as my life is right now, Tiffany,

that would make it a million times worse.

Mr. Williams?

You know, she's totally cool with it.

Listen, listen, you're gonna

have to call back.

I gotta go help my boyfriend.

See this? This has all the symptoms of

that Tourette's thing...

and you don't have half of them.

And?

And... and you're faking it.

Magazines don't prove anything.

Could we please get there

e in some peace and quiet?

Magazines prove everything.

Don't make me pull the car over.

Okay, so it's called The Listening Game.

You talk, I listen,

and I can't interrupt. Then we switch.

I can talk about anything?

Yes.

Let's just drop it, okay?

I'm just saying, she acts like this

'cause you always take her side!

That little prick!

I assume you have our friend?

Of course. Can you let her go now?

Let's see our guy first.

How do we know it's him?

Come on!

Where would I get another one?

You got the money, Mack?

So, this is kinda like a really weird

"Law and Order" episode.

And if Paul Barnell already

killed his brother...

Yeah, maybe his wife is next.

Okay, so my turn?

Yeah.

Now, a healthy relationship...

Here we are.

Can I let her out?

No! Step away from the car!

Why did you gag her?

You know.

- It's all over. Did they hurt you?

- No, no, no...

You don't look so good.

Have you been eating?

- Yeah, I've been. You? Did they feed you?

- Did you drink too much coffee?

No, you know, when I get busy. You know.

Did you fall?

- Yeah, but... Chipped a tooth.

- We'll fix that when we get home.

Boy, you look good.

You smell nice.

- Yeah.

- Musty.

How's Jodie?

She's dead.

Kidding.

Pretty good.

So, do you have a plan here?

You know, I guess I'm gonna

I'm gonna go talk to him.

- Yeah. You don't mind staying here, do

- Sure.

Wait. When do we call the cops?

You know, I mean, if he is doing

something then, Ill just,

I'll wave, okay?

That's a very good plan.

Tourists.

- Wait isn't... isn't that?

- What?

Excuse me! Excuse me!

Aren't you Raymond Barnell?

Go away.

Hey, you know, I don't really know

what's going on here,

but I was just wondering if maybe

you could come with me to my office

just for a few minutes. I mean...

Hey, man, you know,

I don't wanna screw with your life,

but you can't just walk away

with a million dollars

and expect people to be like,

"Hey, yeah, thanks a lot pal. "

How much?

Your brother,

and I use this term very carefully

has stolen a million doll

ars from my insurance company...

For years I've been thinking new meds...

You know, maybe we should...

Honey, I need you to walk over to that

big hill behind me, okay? Okay?

Why don't you put this on now, okay?

I want you to get warm, all right?

You look so good.

No matter what you hear

what you hear,

you just keep walking, all right?

If I'm late or something...

You're never late.

...look inside the coat.

Jimbo?

Million dollars, Paul?

Did you really think

you could take me? Again?

What million dollars?

F***.

What the f***!

She didn't have anything to do with this!

And you do.

Put it down, Nancy.

You first, chief.

You win, tough guy.

Gary.

Sorry.

It was an accident!

- What the f***, man?

- It wasn't me!

Gary!

Please don't shoot us!

Stop! What the f***, Gary? Jesus Christ!

No!

Oh! Oh, God!

Oh, God. Oh, Jesus.

Oh, f***ing hell. I can't breathe.

Can you stand?

Is the Pope a...

Easy.

Thank you.

You're gonna kill me, Gary.

Gonna kill me.

Look at me, you little...

Puddles.

Where do you think you're going?

Ted, leave him alone!

No, no, no, no!

No, I've been beaten!

I've been humiliated!

He kicked me in the balls!

He kicked me in the balls!

And I want an answer now!

Okay.

Well, go ahead.

I can still kind of hear out of this one.

I love my wife, Mr. Watters.

And when you love someone

I mean, really love someone...

That's it!

F***! If I wanted a Hallmark card

or the lyrics to a Foreigner rock ballad,

I would go to the mall, Mr. Barnell!

The Listening Game.

Mr. Barnell... you can go first.

Habeas corpus.

I wanted to help Margaret, you know?

I'm broke

and that's why I came in originally

with that insurance policy thinking,

"I can do this. You'll pay off. "

'Cause, you know,

I hadn't seen Raymond since...

Where do you want to go?

Someplace close.

My three o'clock was moved up.

So you all right about everything?

Yeah.

Good. Good.

I like it when you're okay.

Don't you just love this weather?

Learning to.

SkyFury

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