Billboard Dad Page #4

---

-Sure, slow.

We can do slow.

We can go however you'd like.

-So how's Saturday?

-Saturday's good.

Hello. You look gorgeous.

-Thank you. You look nice too.

-Thank you.

Shall we?

-There you go.

-Thank you very much.

-So thank you.

-lt was very nice getting to know you.

-My love.

-Thank you.

-lt was fun.

-Yeah.

-There you go.

-That door.

-Good night.

-Good night.

-Good night.

-Yeah.

Well, it's about time, Maxwell.

Who is this woman

keeping you from your work?

We're two weeks away from the show!

You should be in your studio,

not frolicking with some trollop.

Language! Besides...

...when have l ever let you down?

There will be plenty of pieces

for the new show.

This new direction l'm going in

is very exciting.

New? No, no, no!

New is bad.

The buyers want to see a sculpture

like the piece that made you famous.

Remember that? Stick with

the old stuff. l can sell it.

Oh, posh, Nigel!

You could sell igloos to the Eskimos.

We all know this. Besides....

Brooke's encouraging me

to broaden my focus.

And you know something?

So l tell you what, pal, you stick

with the money. That'll be your job.

l want to do my job, my friend.

Don't listen to her.

l made you famous, my friend.

Nigel, my friend...

...good night.

l'm the one with the massive

credit card debt.

l'm also the one with

the astronomical car payments.

He's in love.

That's wonderful, yeah.

They're trying to ruin me.

Great, thanks.

Wake up!

-Time to hang ten off the long board!

-What time is it?

What time? Time to go!

Come on!

He's back!

Let's see what you got.

You're gonna get wet

in a minute, Emily.

Less than a minute.

Watch where you point

that thing, jerk!

l got you a tape and shirt

from the No Doubt concert.

Wow, thanks, Cody.

That's awesome!

Everybody, listen up!

As you know, the Regional Diving Meet

is coming up at the end of this month.

You remember last year, we got robbed

by those snobs from Palos Verdes.

This year, we've got a chance to

win back first place, and our dignity.

Let's all work hard to put

a trophy in our case!

They added a new dive.

A reverse pike off the high platform.

Palos Verdes has it.

Well, l'm not great with heights.

But l'll give it a shot.

That's my girl.

-He called you his girl?

-Get over yourself, Emily.

Okay, you can do this.

Just pretend it's like the low dive.

Only higher.

Much higher.

Like Mount Everest higher!

Concentrate, keep your legs together.

Nice, clean entry.

Darn.

We got a couple of weeks.

Gonna do that at the regionals?

You'll be in the Losers Hall of Shame.

You think you can do better?

Let's see it.

all right.

Like he can dive.

He's a total spazoid.

Oh, my gosh!

He's gonna hurt himself.

Oh, my gosh!

He's better than Tess!

You're on the team!

l don't want to be

on your stupid team.

-That jerk!

-What an idiot!

There are only six spaces on the team.

lf he's on, somebody's

gonna get bumped off.

l'm number six.

lt's gonna be me.

Wow! Where'd you find this place?

-l built it.

-You built it?

Designed it.

Supervised the building.

-Why do you have a tractor?

-Forklift, actually.

About half the pieces l work on

are pretty large.

Some are upwards of 18, 20 feet.

l don't feel like lifting that much...

...so a forklift comes in handy.

My son would love to get his hands

on some of these tools.

ls he mechanically inclined?

He tinkers with gears and parts.

Or used to, until he hit

this rebellious stage.

l think all kids go through

that ""testing the limits"" thing.

Yeah, l know.

He's upset about his dad

getting remarried.

He wants to make a statement

at the wedding.

All right, speaking of statements...

...this is one of my newest pieces.

Eavesdropping? Naughty girls.

We're kids.

Nobody tells us anything.

How else can we find out

what's going on?

l'll have you know that when

l was a boy, we didn't have intercoms.

To find things out,

we had to peek at keyholes...

...and root through trash

just like everyone else.

-Okay, Nigel.

-Whatever.

It's a bit of a departure, the finish.

l love all the movement in it.

lt's great.

-Girls? Come on down.

-Blast it!

Brooke's here for your field trip.

Brooke was great.

She took us to do fun things.

Girl stuff.

-Enjoying yourselves?

-Are you kidding?

When are we gonna meet your son?

Definitely soon.

You'll get along great.

Would a college guy fall in love

with a younger woman?

Much younger.

Emily's crushing on our coach.

She almost drooled on his clipboard.

You would too, if you saw him.

He's totally dreamy.

He was on the calendar

""The Men of USC.""

Dreamy is good, but the most

important thing is trust.

Without trust, you have nothing.

-l'd trust Brad with my life.

-Duh! He's a lifeguard.

Go ahead, laugh. At least l know

when a guy sends me signals.

-What does that mean?

-Figure it out.

l'm going to get my legs waxed.

You don't even have hair on them yet!

l'm talking about the production run,

you imbecile!

How long is it going to take you?

Stop complaining or l'll send you

back to where l found you.

At that factory, making lawn gnomes.

Hey, Nige. How's it going?

Who was that on the phone?

Where's your daddy?

-He's with Brooke.

-She's the coolest.

He spends all his time with her.

l think they could fall in--

Don't say that!

Not the ""L"" word.

-Don't say it.

-Don't you want him to be happy?

lf your dad gets happy,

his art might change.

lf his art changes,

it won't sell.

And if it doesn't sell, poof!

There goes your

shiny little lifestyles.

Bye, ladies.

Shiny lifestyle?

He's driving a Range Rover.

And wearing a Rolex.

lt's probably fake.

How about these?

That looks great. Look.

So how's it going

with the billboard hunk?

-Fine.

-You set a date yet?

l know rebound relationships.

He falls for the first girl.

Then l find out he's cheating.

So don't go pick out china patterns.

Miss Cynic, not every guy

is a cheater like your ex-husband.

And you brought up china patterns.

You can admit you like him.

-l don't want to get hurt.

-That doesn't happen every time.

Emily, your food's here.

Guess who's cruising

on his skateboard?

Let's go.

That kid Ryan was such a pain.

He wanted everyone to think

he was a punk.

We'd teach him a lesson.

That's enough, we'll miss him.

-Wow! You two look nice.

-Where we going?

Well, tonight's our

two-month anniversary.

Brooke and l are spending

a nice romantic evening alone.

That's cool.

lt's about time you two got romantic.

Do we need to give you

the safe-sex talk?

Emily Danielle!

lt's okay.

My son asked me the same thing.

Compare notes when he comes over.

He's coming over?

lt's his dad's honeymoon,

so l get him.

-You'll be with Nigel. lsn't that fun?

-Yeah.

That must be him.

Will you get it?

Oh, my God! Ryan, what happened?

-l wiped out on my skateboard.

-Are you okay?

No permanent damage.

Let's get you upstairs and changed.

-Right this way.

-Come on, sweetie.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes