Billboard Dad Page #5

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-How come he didn't tell?

-l don't know.

Have fun, all right?

Come here. Give me a kiss.

l'm counting on you two

to make Ryan feel right at home.

-You ready?

-You bet.

Ryan.

Your clothes are in the dryer.

Be good.

We won't be late.

Any problems at all, just...

...well, talk to Nigel.

Pretty cool stereo.

lmpressive.

We have an alarm system.

-Why didn't you tell on us?

-Because l'm not a rat.

Spare us the prison code.

You didn't tell because you want to

use this when you really want revenge.

-For a betty, you're not so dumb.

-Don't call me a betty.

What's this about ""growing up

in foster homes""?

Are you some kind of

pathological liar?

You're right.

lf this guy's your dad's agent,

why is he asleep on your chair?

Does he live here?

-No. Our dad's his only client.

-Whatever.

Bye, dorks.

Why are you so rude?

You wouldn't understand.

You're perfect people

with this perfect life.

-We're not perfect.

-Nobody is.

And our life's not perfect.

Like everything you've tried

hasn't worked out?

l can't do a reverse dive.

That's just a stupid dive

in a dumb competition.

Why does it matter that much to you?

My mother was a ballerina.

This is as close as l could get.

That's the lamest excuse

l've ever heard.

Just because your father remarried...

...doesn't mean he won't love you.

Who asked you, Munchkin?

-l'm Monster.

-l'm Munchkin.

Whatever. And l'm joining

the diving team after all.

Guess who's off it?

No, no, no! Not polyester!

You're right, honey. He's here.

Hey, what's up?

Just waiting to go home.

Where's my mom?

She's out in the car.

l'll give you both a lift home.

Your mom told me about your dad

getting remarried.

That's got to be a tough one.

-No biggie.

-Yeah.

Well, l'll tell you...

...l've been outnumbered

by women for so long...

...it'd be nice to have a guy around.

-Ready to go?

-Yeah.

Let's hit the road.

Careful, you idiot!

l can't afford another broken one.

That's my new BMW you're holding.

What's with the phony

Tyler sculptures?

Who knows how the new stuff will be?

lf not for the woman,

he'd be making the stuff that sells.

Don't throw a fit.

Just tell Tyler to dump the chick.

Problem solved.

all this hoopla over this stuff.

Nigel, hi.

-l sat on my glasses.

-Oh, no.

-Max said you could help.

-l'll see what l can do.

-Do you think you can save them?

-They're almost not worth repairing.

-How about a new pair?

-Brilliant.

Brooke, it's so wonderful to see

Max has found someone.

-Admit it, you're head over heels.

-You caught me. l admit it.

When Max was a student in ltaly,

l discovered him.

-Ever been?

-No, but l'd love to go.

Why not just go?

Rent a house

in the ltalian countryside.

-A nice, romantic summer abroad.

-l'd love to rent a house in ltaly.

-The kids would want to stay.

-Leave them with me.

-For a whole summer?

-lt's a new relationship.

lt would be great to spend

some time with Max alone.

lt's not easy with three kids around.

Not that l don't love his girls.

They're great.

Ryan is another story.

He has to come around in his own time.

Can l make a confession?

ln Europe, Max might be inspired

to get some work done.

l know Max hasn't worked much

since we met.

But l put my foot down

and sent him to his studio...

...with instructions not to come

out without his new masterpiece.

-l don't want him going broke.

-Thank you for making my job easier.

-What do you think?

-Honestly?

-They make you look devious.

-l'll take them.

l'll go get you a case.

Emily, did you borrow my Ugg boots?

Nigel's talking to Brooke. lt sounds

like they're moving to ltaly.

-ltaly? Cool!

-Not cool. We're not invited.

I'd love to go to Italy with Max.

It'd be great to spend

some time alone.

And the children? You can't

leave them with a stranger.

They're staying with me!

You'd take the kids?

Of course! Would you send them

to boarding school?

Great idea. It's not easy getting

to know each other with three kids.

-Max would never agree to that!

-He'll come around in time.

-How much is Max worth?

-That's confidentiall.

-l think you're just after his money.

-Okay, you caught me. I admit it.

l'm not gonna let him get hurt

by some gold-digger!

Ducklets! Why the long faces?

Tell me what's got you so down.

-Don't act all cheery for us.

-We heard you talking with Brooke.

Oh, dear. l was hoping

to spare you two the ugly truth.

You're so young and impressionable.

-How much did you hear?

-They're moving to Europe?

She's gonna send us

to boarding school.

And she's after his money.

You missed the part

about the three ex-husbands?

Three of them?

How do you think she started

her business?

She's been lying to us.

-We thought she loved Dad.

-She seems terrific.

People aren't always

as they appear to be.

We can't let her break up

our family!

She's gonna hurt Daddy!

We've got to do something.

l've got an idea how to get rid

of her, but l'll need your help.

Good morning, Max.

l've brought you inspiration.

Nigel, l don't need a model today.

Do a favor for one of my countrymen.

She'll be deported if she

doesn't get work papers.

Make me look good, can't you?

l could do some sketching.

l don't want to hear another word

about wasting time.

You're hired, doll. Go get undressed.

There's a robe in the storage room.

Just throw your clothes anywhere.

What's that for, Nigel?

-l'm thirsty.

-l'll bet you're thirsty.

You're wanted

at your boyfriend's house.

That Max. He promised me he'd

work on his sculpture all day.

He misses you. How cute.

Hello?

Hello?

Thanks a lot.

Anything for Nigel, believe me.

Good.

She looked so crushed. l feel guilty.

She's a gold-digger. We had no choice.

lf we did the right thing,

how come l feel crummy?

l should've seen this coming!

-Maybe there's some explanation.

-There's an explanation:

all men are the same.

They're liars and cheaters.

Those are their good qualities.

What happened?

Billboard Dad turned into a jerk.

l'm sorry, Ryan,

l didn't mean to snap.

l haven't been spending

enough time with you.

l know you're bummed about your dad.

l'm gonna make this up to you,

l promise.

-Any word from the gold-digger?

-She won't return Dad's calls.

Splendid.

Don't say l don't take care of things.

-We gotta go to our diving meet.

-Yeah.

-How's the work coming, Maxwell?

-Fine. Just fine.

l've got my tortured soul back!

Diving for Palos Verdes on the

three-meter springboard, Jenny Smith.

Diving for the Squids, Carol Clarke.

Squirt them, Squids!

Squirt them, Squids!

This concludes the three-meter

springboard competition.

With the score tied,

the five-meter platform...

...will determine the championship

between Palos Verdes and the Squids.

Now diving for Palos Verdes,

Phil Johnson.

Tess, the entire reputation of our

swim club rests on your shoulders.

So relax and have fun!

Easy for him to say.

-Come on, Tess!

-Go, Tess!

Yes!

A very good dive.

A little over on the entry...

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