Bite Marks Page #4

Woo! Woo!

Hey! Vampire lady!

C'mon!

Vampire lady! C'mon!

Come and get me, Fang Girl!

Walsh?

Well, hey, little brother!

What are you doing here?

Why, you act like you ain't happy to see me!

Well, hell, I'm letting you f*** my wife.

Shouldn't I get props for that?

You forgot. I'm the religious

one in the family, remember?

Hey, you're in my

head, aren't ya? Ya bastard!

I can't help it. You make it too easy.

Now, let's see what we can find here.

Uh oh! Looks like trouble in the bedroom!

Why, little brother! I am

shocked! Really, I am!

I never figured you for a latent pipe-puller!

You shut up!

You're right. Time for talking... is over.

Hey! Hey! Hey, are

you trying to bite my ass??

God, I'm too old for this!

You're so cool, Brewster!

Cary? Cary, are you back?

Who's there?

Cary? Brewster? Where are you guys?

Help me! Help me! Please!

It's all right, I've got you.

Set you down.

If you see anything with pointy teeth

and a thirty-eight inch chest, yell out.

What idiot locked the door?

How do you make a vampire cross?

Oh, man...

Come and get me, Fanghead. I'm juicy!

C'mon, Toothy! Take a bite!

Who's your dentist?

Bet you've never seen this in

a horror movie before!

Down for the count... Count!

Vogel, if that's you?

Gross!

I'm sorry.

She was a good dog.

But... I was just so... thirsty!

Look! You can eat the dog! It was your dog!

I'm gonna taste bad, all right! I'm bitter!

There are two guys back at

the truck! Eat them!

I'm not a virgin! Don't you

need virgin blood??

Did you just fart??

You disgusting man!

For sure!

Vogel! I did it! I killed a vampire!

Me, too! The chick?

No, McDougall! Who'd you kill?

The mechanic!

Oh, right! He was a vampire, wasn't he?

Have you seen Brewster?

No. Did you get a signal?

No, there's too much interference

from all this metal.

Hey, maybe we need height, not distance!

I get it! Toss it up!

Overhand, Cary! Overhand!

What are you doing?

YouTube.

Yes! I told you! Scars of f***ing Dracula!

So-earlier. What did

Brewster say he'd do for you?

Okay, okay! Later.

Cell phone?

It's a chocolate mess.

Sh*t. I saw some wire over there.

Why don't you grab me a piece

so I can gimmick open the door.

What idiot locked the door?

I thought you did.

Hurry it up, will ya?

I'm trying. This is harder than it looks.

Brewster!

Hey, B-Man! You look like sh*t!

We each killed a vampire! Did you?

No.

So there's still one out there.

I got it!

What's wrong?

C'mon, Brewster, it's not safe out there!

You're freaking me out!

Brewster, will you get your ass in here?

Okay. No cell phone. No rescue. Broken axle.

Vampire prowling the grounds.

Did I leave anything out?

They hate pages from

the bible. It kept them out.

They couldn't have gotten in, anyway.

Why not?

They have to be invited.

Really? How do you know that?

Remember that fantasy about how you want

to spend your last moments on earth?

Yeah...

I don't think you're going to make it!

Do you think any of these cars work?

I doubt it.

These things are sold for

parts, not operation.

Damn it! If there was just one vehicle

in this entire place that actually ran!

No! No! No! No! No!

It's out of gas.

Well, of course it is!

It's only been idling here

for the past three hours!

Hey! There's a bucket and a hose back here!

We can siphon gas out of Brewster's truck

and put it in the pickup!

Do you wanna suck it? Or should l?

C'mon, c'mon!

That's good! Let's go!

Sister, you've got the wrong guys!

She didn't like that!

I guess "diesel" wasn't her scent!

Can vampires make you sh*t your pants?

Cause I think I'm about to!

Did you always get a stuffed bear?

Yeah, why?

Because I think I have an idea.

Ready?

Will you still love me

if I have black eyes and fangs?

You kidding? Have you seen

yourself after five appletinis?

Now!

Hurry up, Vogel! She's twitching

like a monkey getting vajazzled!

Okay! Let her go!

You ruined our vacation, you b*tch!

Man, think of all the hits I'd

get if this was on YouTube!

Hey, take my picture!

Well, what about Brewster?

He isn't our problem.

Is he still in there?

I can't... see anything..

Guess I'm your problem now, huh??

Vogel, run! Save yourself!

Okay!

Don't move!

If you run, I'll find you, and

when I do, I'll make it hurt!

So what... you're evil

now? I mean, you were a jerk

before but you weren't acting

like some B-movie bad guy.

Is that what dying does to

you? Turn you into a twat?

He sounds bitter!

I'm gonna f*** you,

then I'm gonna drain your blood,

then I'm gonna f*** you again!

But you... I'm just gonna kill!

I guess that doesn't

change when you go all toothy!

Vogel! Grab his arm!

I hate closet cases! Even dead ones!

I still think... Cary is a girl's name!

Oh! Nasty!

Burning vampire smells like a

flaming bag of spicy dog sh*t.

I love you.

Me, too.

What the hell happened in here?

Funny story.

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