Black Irish Page #2

I can throw like that, too.

All right, Terry.

Don't be late tonight.

It's Kathleen's

going-away dinner.

Good hitting.

Yeah, you, too.

Mmm. Smells good.

Fancy dishes.

It's the good china.

From your mother, remember?

[chuckles]

Haven't seen these

in a lifetime.

You kids were in diapers

when I saw these last.

You kids were all

beautiful children.

Weren't they?

[Father chuckles]

They were.

Even Terry.

[laughs]

Terry? No way.

Yeah.

Where is he?

I think I saw him outside

with Anthony.

Ah, the brain trust.

Go get him, will ya?

It's your sister's

going-away dinner.

It's okay.

I'll go get him.

[clears throat]

It ain't fair.

The whole ball of wax

ain't fair.

There's going to be

another adjustment as well.

Concerns you.

Adjustment?

In order to pay

for your sister,

we're taking you

out of St. Mark's,

putting you in public.

[Cole sighs]

That's Terry's school.

I don't want an argument

out of you.

I'll make do.

Raiders are the best team

in the city.

I won't even

make that lineup.

And Father Magruder said

I have a good shot at being

on the varsity starting

rotation this year.

Why you worry about

something as trivial

as baseball

when you know your future

lies in the priesthood.

There you are, Terry.

Perhaps you can show

your brother around

when he gets to your school.

Gets to my school?

Yes, Terry.

You and your brother

are going to be attending

the same institution.

You want me to give him a tour?

That's a beauty.

I-I don't know if that's

such a good idea, Margaret.

He's two years behind me.

What am I gonna show him?

Oh, I'm catching up, though.

Have a seat, please,

so your sister can say grace.

I'm not hungry.

Yes, you are. It's your

sister's goddamn dinner.

You want me to eat

all my vegetables?

That's enough!

Ah, this is just great.

The Brady Bunch

got nothing on us.

What a sham all this is.

Is anyone here

really happy?

Terry, calm down now, mmm?

You all think I'm dumb.

I'm not dumb. I'm smart.

Smart enough to know

that if I study,

I get a "C,"

if not, I get a "C" minus,

so why bother, huh, Ma?

You and I both know

you could do much better

than a "C"

if you just applied yourself.

It's easier bein' a loser.

Nobody expects anything

out of Terry McKay.

Nobody here gives

a good goddamn about me

or what I want,

and none of you care.

Terry, that's not true.

Oh, it's not?

Then what's

my favorite color?

What's my favorite

baseball team?

Hey, Dad,

how come I didn't wanna

go to camp when I was eight?

Terry, I don't wanna hear it!

It's not about you tonight.

The money pitch.

Come here!

Think you're smart?

That's enough.

Stop it!

[blows landing]

[dog barking]

[Dad]

Damn it!

[engine starts]

[door closes]

[footsteps approaching]

Add one more

to the collection.

You'll have to take on

this wonderful chore

while I'm gone.

I'm so sorry they had

to pull you out of St. Mark's.

It's all right.

I'm actually--

I'm kind of

looking forward to it.

Change is good, right?

Yeah, and you'll do fine.

You'll be so far ahead

you won't have to do

any homework for two years.

There'll be girls.

I heard rumors they exist.

[sighs]

Yeah.

By tomorrow this should be dry.

Then you hang the hook.

Three inches above the hole?

Mm-hmm.

Are you gonna be okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm gonna be fine.

You should go to bed.

Pulling you out

is probably

a temporary thing.

I'll land another job.

I got part-time work

lined up already.

As soon as your sister's

taken care of,

I get back on my feet,

you're back on track

for the seminary.

It is what you want,

isn't it?

I'm not exactly sure

I'm cut out for it.

Since when?

You know, since--

since I've been

doing some thinking

on some of the vows.

Vows? Which ones?

Well, chastity,

for one.

You know, I'm not

exactly comfortable

with the idea

of being...chaste.

That's a doozy.

Are you getting laid?

Are ya?

Stop. No.

But besides playing ball,

it's all I can think about.

Perfectly natural.

Listen, from age 13

through my late 20s,

all I could think about

was pus--

w-was sex.

Really?

Really.

Then I met your mother.

Wait a minute.

You know about the birds

and the bees, right?

You know how the whole

thing works, don't you?

Yeah, Dad, I know.

Yeah, well, I know you know.

Attending that institution

doesn't exactly expose you

to the world.

Yeah, well,

I got it figured out.

Well, you know, it's not

like you see in Playboy.

You know,

it gets all wet--

I--

You know, this--

That's okay, you know?

But not too much.

And, uh,

[clears throat]

always, always gift wrap

your package.

You know, protection.

We're gonna--

We're gonna be late.

Uh--

[clears throat]

Yeah.

[car approaching,

radio blaring]

# Everything that we

believed in, it all

turned out to be a lie #

[car, radio off]

[car door opens, closes]

Taking matters

into your own hands?

Is your boyfriend David

gonna drive the bus?

The f*ggot.

Go away, Terry.

I don't wanna deal with you

right now.

Come on. Get in.

I'll drive you...

wherever you wanna go.

You know you have a fine,

young ballplayer here.

Why, next season I'd wager

he'll make it into

the starting rotation.

There isn't gonna be

a next season, Father.

We're taking our son

out of St. Mark's.

Out?

I've always thought

that Cole was here

because his faith

was central to him.

Have you found something

more important in your life?

No. No, Father.

Not-- Not at all.

It's, um--

It's the most important work

a man can do.

It's just--

It's-- It's just that--

Yeah.

Right now--

No one becomes

a priest nowadays.

I don't want my son

to become some sort of freak.

He's going

in a different direction.

Isn't that right?

Mr. McKay, I'd hardly

label our calling freakish.

Well, you might wanna consider

getting the Church

a good publicist then,

because, uh, you know,

your calling's been taking

a serious hit lately.

Here's the bottom line:

The kid's hormones

have finally kicked in.

He's no longer

interested.

Isn't that right?

Not exactly.

Have you made any short

or long-term plans?

I'm gonna

go to public school,

and, uh, I thought

I'd work as a waiter.

For now.

[sighs]

You've been such

a promising student.

Exemplary in all ways.

And now you'd prefer to serve

hamburgers instead of God?

It's a lot more practical.

McDonald's has served a few

more than Catholicism has.

How many billions

they up to now?

[chuckling]

This is not to be

made light of, Mr. McKay.

By choosing this path,

your son may very well

be stepping into the abyss.

Here he has a home and--

and a future.

Out there--

Every man has these urges

that you're feeling.

By denying them,

we make ourselves stronger,

holier.

Am I not right, Cole?

Yes, Father.

Yeah, that's a crock

if ever I heard it.

No wonder you guys

are so out of touch.

What you feel right here--

that tingle in your nuts--

is the most natural thing

in the universe.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes