Blended Page #6

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Oh, no!

Okay-

All right.

Let's see what we have

in the magic bag here.

Oh. Perfect.

All right. La, da, da.

You're pretty.

You're prettier.

I said you are.

Shut up and let me do your makeup.

Don't worry. They're around.

Oh, I'm not worried.

Maybe that's where they are.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Tyler?

- Hold on, now!

- Excuse me.

- Hold on, big time!

- Aah!

Aah! Oh, my God! I'm gonna kill him.

Yeah, baby! Hold on, now!

Whoa! Whoa!

Easy, homey. easy!

Tyler! Get off that dodo bird right now!

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Everything's fine.

The safety instructor's on top of it.

Ugh.

Look at me, Mom! I'm a cowboy!

Well, partner, I bet I can stay on

longer than you!

It's on, sheriff.

No "longer"! No "staying"!

- I can't be beat!

- I can't hear you! You're going down!

I'm never gonna fall off! Never!

Whoo! One hand, mama!

Whoo... Aah!

Ooh!

Good!

Yes! I win! I'm the king of Africa!

- Whoa!

- Tyler!

A winner!

Are you kidding me?

Yee-haw! Yee-haw!

Wow. Whoo, boom!

You're a moron, okay?

Because he could've broken his neck!

Mom. Mom, Mom. Did you see that?

I stuck the landing and did the bull dance.

I saw it.

Thank you so much

for taking me on this trip, Mom.

This is the best day of my life!

Okay. Great! Oh, good! Oh, good.

I love you so much.

- I'm so glad you're having fun.

- Aw.

You're welcome.

Thank you so much.

- Why you flipping my dad off?

- Huh? I'm not.

Yo! Check out white girl

in the neighborhood.

Am I right, my brothers? Woo-woo!

I can't believe your dad's into my mom.

He doesn't like her. She's into him.

No way. He's goofy and flabby all over.

My mom's gorgeous with a rocking body.

Hey, that's sick, man.

That was out of context!

Was it?

You know, you should just go talk to him

because he probably won't bite.

Oh! No, no. I can't.

Got a boyfriend back at home?

Please. All the guys at my school pretty

much assume I'm a lesbian.

And not the hot kind.

Well, have you ever considered,

say, like...

...changing your hairstyle?

Our barber only really knows

how to do this and crew cuts.

- So...

- A barber?

Like the kind with a pole outside?

He cut our grandfather's hair.

He cuts my dad's hair.

- And now he cuts our hair. Heh.

- May I just...?

Yup.

You have such a beautiful face.

You know, it's funny because

I was actually on my way to the salon.

Do you wanna come

check it out with me?

For what?

For a hairdo...

...for a girl...

...in this century.

I would but I'd have to ask

my dad for the money.

No. No, no, no. It's on me.

Really?

It would make me so happy.

Because I don't get to do this

with my boys.

- Come on, Prince Valiant.

- Heh.

- I don't know who that is but okay.

- Okay.

Where do you buy your clothes?

Oh, Dad gets most of our clothes

from work.

Oh, then I guess we should be grateful

he doesn't work at Hooters.

No, my mom worked at Hooters.

She what?

Oh, my mom, she used to work at Hooters.

She managed the one over on Lake Street.

Oh. Heh.

So then he gets down

on one knee and proposes.

Right in the middle of kickboxing class.

He's lucky he didn't get kicked

in the nuts.

Oh, my nuts! Ha-ha-ha.

Espn. This is the best passion fruit

I've ever tasted. Try it.

And I got some for your mom too.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

So how'd you two sexicans meet?

Yeah! Hitting them with the hard questions.

I like it.

Well, we met on a blind date.

- Argh. Those are the worst.

- Oh.

I've been on 10 blind dates in my life.

All fatties. Ten for ten. All fatties.

No offense, Jim.

What?

So what happened?

Where'd he take you?

Actually, Hooters.

Here we go.

Which was wonderful service,

nice people, really great.

Aw. How romantic.

- Oh.

- Aw, everyone's shimmying now.

Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy. Ha-ha-ha.

Why you no shimmy, Jimmy?

Shimmy.

Jim?

Where's Larry?

What happened to Larry?

I'm right here, Dad.

Why were the, uh...?

How did this, uh...?

What's happening right now?

Um, well, Lauren gave me

her salon appointment...

Uh-huh.

...and they put in hair extensions

and makeup...

...and she even told them how to style it

and what to do, what not to do.

She was pretty amazing.

She was amazing, huh?

Do you want to go get some sushi

from the bar?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, scarecrow!

She's gotta bulk up!

Pork chops! Lamb chops! Tri-tip!

Uh...

Let's go get our beef on?

Uh-oh. I think someone new came to dinner.

A flying baby named Cupid.

- Heh-heh-heh.

- Ping.

Aah! You got me!

Now we're both in love.

What's the matter?

What's the matter?

I just looked at my daughter,

and I didn't really recognize her.

Kind of threw me off for a minute.

Well, she's 15, you know?

She's bound to grow up at some point.

I know. Call me crazy.

I just thought maybe that would be

my decision because she's my kid!

Okay! Awkward moment.

Uncomfortable. Tension.

I'm leaving the table. Who's with me?

- Me! Me!

- I'm going.

Wow.

Whoa. I just...

Can I ask you?

What made you think you could tart up

my daughter without my permission?

You're right. I'm sorry. I am.

I just find it hypocritical from someone

who nearly killed my son.

So it was getting even? Is that it?

No, it's not getting even but I just...

- She's beautiful.

- Right.

With that pageboy Prince Valiant haircut

you gave her...

She looked very nice with that haircut.

...and the tracksuit, are you kidding me?

Dying on the inside to come out!

Her mother was tomboyish at her age

and that was fine with me.

You knew your wife when she was 15?

I knew my wife when I was 13.

I had a crush on her.

I have no idea why she liked me back.

I was 90 percent goofy

and 10 percent loser.

Well, I was 60 percent Urkel

and 40 percent Screech.

If I didn't have braces,

my teeth would be hitting you right now.

I'm sorry I yelled at you. I feel like a jerk

because I put your kid on a gooney bird...

- ...and I didn't ask your permission.

- No, but listen. You're right.

I need to let go of the reins a little bit.

I just want to say on behalf of Thathoo...

...how happy we are to see you

two lovebirds finally...

...blending.

No, we're not blending.

We were just having a conversation.

- Just happy we haven't killed each other yet.

- Heh.

Yes, yes, you are blending

We don't feel that way about each other!

Yes, you'll be touching

Like wine and bobotie

All right, let's go and get our beef on!

And like malva pudding

All right, thank you.

I think they're blending over there!

Come now! Come now!

They're blending over here! Yes!

Daddy, look!

Ha-ha-ha. Woo-hoo!

What? I thought I saw an eagle.

I saw a camel! Ha-ha-ha.

Hey, Hilary. Uh...

You wanna come in our truck?

Shouldn't you be in your coffin?

The sun's out right now.

Take a walk, homes.

Eh, yo, yo, yo.

Go ahead.

Oh!

- Oh, my God.

Ha-ha-ha.

Look, children.

The bush pig has lost its parents...

...so it is being cared for by Mama

and Papa Lion.

Even in nature

there are blended families.

- That's nice.

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