Bo Burnham: Make Happy Page #5

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-[audience laughing] I don't like explaining jokes that... The joke where I tell everyone

to kill themselves -might deserve an explanation. Do not!

-[audience laughing] And if you're offended,

do not write a blog. I apologize immediately.

Sorry! Right away! -[woman shouts indistinctly]

-[man] Whoo! What's that, ma'am? What did you say?

This is your moment. Who said it? [audience laughing] Do not objectify me, okay? You think it's okay

just 'cause I'm a dude? You think it's okay

'cause he's a dude? That is homophobia.

Just the fact that you find it funny. "Ooh, a guy said take off your pants.

That's not God's way." [laughs mockingly] Jesus Christ, you bigots. I, uh... Show's been pretty rock and roll so far.

You know, I know it. -And I...

-[audience cheering] I'd love to keep it going,

but life is not always rock and roll. I'm not gonna keep life out of my show. I went through a pretty rough...

[chuckles] uh, breakup recently.

It was a long time coming. Uh, we had a lot of conversations

about it, she and I. But recently we had the conversation... It wasn't recent, but I remember it

like it was yesterday, you know? -[piano playing]

-She came out of the shower, her hair wet, her shoulders wet. -It was a shower. It's water.

-[audience laughing] She turned to me and she said it... She said... [singing] It's over We shouldn't fight to stay together

Just to fight again It's over

We're unhappy We need to take a break

From us to make us right again And even though it's not gonna go

Any further I swear I don't regret a second of it And when the dust has settled I hope we can still be friends Then I said... -[rapping] Eat a dick

-[hip-hop music playing] Eat a dick Eat a f***ing dick, like this Put on your dick-eating gloves Get ready to gobble a dick up If you don't like this dick sitch Eat a dick, b*tch -[piano playing]

-[audience cheering and applauding] I think I made the right decision. [singing] Okay, you're angry I can see that But you don't need to make this harder

Than it has to be I try to speak to you But you won't listen-- [rapping] Eat a dick [singing] Hold on

Please just let me-- [rapping] Eat a dick Oh, my God. [singing]

Honestly, are you f***ing five? I am trying to talk this out You refuse to even listen to me [stutters] I'm saying

how I'm feeling, okay? And then you're saying...

"eat a dick" over and over again. Does that seem mature to you? [rapping] No, it doesn't

But see, I think the issue is I've got my father's temper And I'm emotionally inarticulate So rather than being honest

And vulnerable I did a quick switch

Because I'm hurting inside And I'm trying to hide it

So eat a dick, man [sobbing] [voice breaking] I thought we had

a future together, you f***ing whore. [singing] I didn't think

You'd cry for me I didn't think you cared I thought you were

Lashing out in anger But now I see you're scared I'm scared, too Maybe we can work this out And not break up [gasps] Really? [rapping] No, lick my clit Lick my motherfucking clit You think three lousy tears Offsets three years of sh*t? I deserve better than you Get me wetter, then screw Sorry you're not what I need, hun Lick this clit then leave, son -[music stops]

-[audience cheering] Hey, if you guys are having a good time,

make some silence. -[silence]

-Cool. -[audience laughing]

-Uh... What's this show about? What am I talking about, you know? To... to summarize the show, though...

Me! Me! Me! But... if you take one thing away from my show... I hope it's a T-shirt.

We're selling them out there. This is all a front for the brand. But what is this show about?

What do you think, industrial piping? -[air hissing]

-Close. -[air hissing]

-Stay out of it. [audience laughing] It's about... Mute this. -But for real, what is it about?

-[audience laughing] It's about... performing... -I try to...

-[person whistling] ...make my show about other things, but it always ends up

becoming about performing. I started performing very young,

as a teenager, you know, professionally. And as a comedian,

what you're supposed to do... You're supposed to talk

about what you know. And what I knew always was performing. So to talk about...

[chuckles] traffic or laundry felt incredibly disingenuous. But I worried that making a show

about performing would be too meta. It wouldn't be relatable to people

that aren't performers. But what I found is that

I don't think anyone isn't. Could we get the house lights up

for a second? And could you... Let the lights on stage...

Let the artifice fade away. -Now we're all the same.

-[scattered cheers] -I mean, you're all facing this way still.

-[audience laughs] You know, I look out at...

I look out at you and, um... It's a very diverse crowd. I mean, more European

than I would've hoped, but... we'll get there. If I look at the young people... You know, and I feel like...

I was born in 1990 and I was sort of raised in America

when it was a cult of self-expression. And I was just taught,

you know, express myself and have things to say

and everyone will care about them. And I think everyone was taught that and most of us found out

no one gives a sh*t what we think. So we flock to performers

by the thousands 'cause we're the few

that have found an audience. And then I'm supposed to get up here

and say, "Follow your dreams," as if this is a meritocracy?

It is not, okay? I had a privileged life

and I got lucky and I'm unhappy. [audience laughing] They say it's... it's like

the me generation. It's not. It's not... [stammers] The arrogance is taught

or it was cultivated. It's... it's self-conscious.

That's what it is. It's the... It's conscious of self...

[stammers] Social media... it's just the market's answer

to a generation that demanded to perform. So the market said,

"Here, perform everything to each other all the time

for no reason." It's prison, it's horrific. It is performer and audience

melded together. What do we want more than to lie

in our bed at the end of the day and just watch our life

as a satisfied audience member? I know very little about anything,

but what I do know is that if you can live your life

without an audience... you should do it.

And now you're thinking... "How the f*** are you gonna dig the show

out of this weird hole?" Oh, you want me to be funny

and make a point? Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. -Batman. So... how do we do it?

-[audience laughing] [cheering] We do it like this. I went to Kanye West's recent tour,

the Yeezus Tour. It was a big, dramatic, theatrical show. He did something very strange

at the end of his show where he ranted...

for, like, 20 minutes. It was kind of a rant,

kind of a song. He had auto-tune on his voice and there was an instrumental

in the background... -[instrumental music playing]

-...like this instrumental. He talked about his problems... race... power. His $90 T-shirts

weren't selling very well. That was most of it.

And I watched this. I thought maybe I could do this. I'll be honest, my problems are not as high-stakes as Kanye's,

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