Boat That Rocked, The Page #9

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with your girlfriend twice in a night.

- Three times if you count a... Hey, Bob.

- Hey.

- Dear. That is not a good record.

- What?

I think it's time we got the f*** out of here.

Come on.

To all our listeners,

this is what I have to say.

God bless you all.

And as for you bastards in charge,

don't dream it's over.

Years will come, years will go,

and politicians will do f*** all

to make the world a better place.

But all over the world,

young men and young women

will always dream dreams

and put those dreams into song.

Nothing important dies tonight.

Just a few ugly guys on a crappy ship.

The only sadness tonight is that,

in future years,

there'll be so many fantastic songs

that it will not be our privilege to play.

But, believe you me, they will still be written.

They will still be sung

and they will be the wonder of the world.

Hit it!

I think we better go.

Okay. Do what you gotta do.

Chicken.

Go ahead, Harold.

Come on up, Bob. Well done.

- Hello, Bob.

Sh*t!

I think we're actually going to die.

Why?

I'll explain later.

So...

Tell us, Mark, now at the very end.

What was your secret?

- How did you get all them girls?

Simple.

Don't say anything at all.

- Nothing?

- Nothing.

Then, when the tension

becomes too much to bear,

you finally, finally, you just say...

"How about it, then?"

- "How about it, then?"

- "How about it, then?"

"How about it, then?" Works every time.

F***!

How about it? Well, how about this?

How about this situation here?

Try and f*** your way out of this one, Mark!

We're gonna die!

Come on, Harold!

We are gonna live forever!

- So this is where the party is.

Gavin!

- Dude, come on up. Relax, enjoy yourself.

- Good to see you, mate.

Come on.

- Hold on.

And the Count. Any sign of the Count?

No.

It's not... It's not getting better.

This is it! We are gonna die!

Wait!

- What?

- A boat!

How big? How big a bloody boat?

It's not actually just one boat.

Two boats.

- Three boats.

It's ever so slightly

more than three boats.

How many boats?

I think the technical term

is a fuckload of boats.

There's more!

They're everywhere!

Mark!

Get in the boat!

- Hang on.

Gavin!

Let's go! Let's go!

Gavin!

One, two, three...

All right, there must be another way!

One, two, three...

Angus...

- I don't want to go!

- Follow me.

- It's water, I can't...

- You just jump!

- No!

Angus!

Mark!

There he is! There he is!

Angus!

Help me!

Over here!

Grab it!

Bob!

Bob, over here! Come here!

Keep swimming!

- Bob!

- Bob!

- Give me your hand.

- Thank you.

Thanks very much, very good of you.

Give me your hand.

- We've got him!

- Thank you.

Let me look at you. You're gorgeous.

- Angus!

- Yes! I'm alive!

Simon!

Come over and we'll have a warm bath!

Margaret!

Keep swimming, you're doing really well!

Carl!

- Marianne!

Carl!

It's lovely to meet you.

Thank you.

I don't know what I would have done

if anything would've happened to you!

I listen to your show every single morning.

- Who are you?

- I love you.

My name is on your boobies.

Oh, my God!

Calm down.

There's plenty of Dr Dave to go around.

Yeah!

My man!

Yeah, man!

Rock 'n' roll!

That's rock 'n' roll, baby!

Rock 'n' roll!

Rock 'n' roll!

here, "Coolest man on the planet. "

And that is, strangely,

in his own handwriting.

Some people say that

they don't bother listening to it.

Who says that?

- Well, Dave said that he didn't really like it.

And he did that.

- Yeah.

- Actually, from out there they glint

and make you look sort of satanic.

- See you later, John.

- Okay.

So, Dr Arthur Sea Measure.

That's an interesting name.

Do you mind if I just call you

Doctor For Short?

Yes, that's fine.

Good. So, Doctor For Short,

tell us, oceanographer...

Dr Dave. Not quite so nutty,

but good for your medical requirements.

It does not surprise me that you are single.

Yesterday's anti-war demonstrations

in Bolton...

- Today will be mainly wet. Hey...

- I'm trying not to...

- I didn't mean what I said.

- You didn't?

No, I think you're a good guy

and you're a good egg, you know?

Thanks.

What a prick.

It's a shame you're a lezzer.

I would be nuts deep.

I'm gonna talk into the microphone of love.

And that was Spirit from their first album

entitled, not surprisingly, Spirit.

He's doing it. He's doing it!

You can't see this,

but he has just clicked on this record

with the right boot of his Cuban heel.

Very nice.

That's how you do it, isn't it?

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