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Boat Trip Page #5
a raging heterosexual.
I should be so lucky.
Can you imagine?
You know what? Let's get
this party on its feet. Come on.
Inga, it's me, Nicky.
Open up.
Nicky.
- So Mr. Tongue has a name.
- I'm sorry about what happened.
You don't have to hit me.
The deed was punishment enough.
"Nej, nej, nej."
If we ever hook up again,
I want to show you.
- I can reciprocate.
- Reciprocate?
Hey, Nick!
Hey, fresh meat.
Have a seat, Nick.
I can always use
a little extra spending money.
What the hell, I can use
a quiet game of poker.
Sorry I'm late, boys. I had trouble
squeezing into this pantyhose.
- So, what's the game?
- Five card stud.
- Very appropriate.
- Let's play some cards.
- I'm tired. Are you tired?
- Yeah! Wait. One more.
Hector!
You've been on a boat before.
- Is it safe?
- Of course it's safe!
As long as you are responsible.
You mean the storm?
Well, that I do not know.
Hector, let me ask you something.
- How many cruises have you been on?
- Including this one?
That would make it...
one. You see, I only recently
came all the way out of the closet.
Recently, really?
I would've figured kindergarten.
No. Well, let me tell you.
It wasn't easy.
But it's better to be true
to yourself...
than to lie to the world.
It must 've taken a lot of guts.
It's funny, you know?
These guys I'm playing poker with.
Steven, Tom, Ron.
Steven's a doctor.
A gay heart surgeon.
Who would've thought?
Ron's a criminal defence attorney.
He represents some bad-assed dudes.
Tom's cross-dresser
and pastry chef.
Okay, I would have guessed that.
But still,
they're a great bunch of guys.
- So what are you saying?
- What am I saying?
What I'm saying is I kinda wanted
to hang out more with these guys.
But there was a part of me that
felt it was somehow wrong...
to be friends with gay men.
And that...
makes me feel like a jerk.
Sit.
Come on, sit.
You know, my Papa, he used to
think that to be gay was "muy malo".
A big shame.
He no talk to me for 2O years.
His own blood.
Now he's sick, he's dying.
He asks for me. He say to me...
"Hector, I waste so much time.
We're all God's children.
I'm so sorry." He said so.
You see, my Papi, he's like you.
A real jerk.
He just needed to learn.
You learn too, my friend.
I'm hurting.
It feels so good
to get off my feet!
I couldn't agree with you more.
You know what?
I've got to get out
of these clothes.
I couldn't agree with you more.
Listen, would you mind doing me
a huge, huge favor?
Would you spend the night with me?
What?
Yeah, you know, it's the storm.
I wouldn't mind cuddling
under the covers with somebody.
F*** Nick.
or am I too drunk or...
I have a theory.
we might be able to maintain
perfect equilibrium.
I'll try that in the pursuit
of science.
I'll get us another round.
I have a better idea.
I have a fifty-year old bottle
of cognac in my room...
...and I'm gonna go get it.
- I'll go with you.
I could use the exercise.
Jerry, we can get out
from under the covers.
like, half an hour ago.
It was one hell of a storm, though.
You know, I have something
you're gonna love.
- Get ready to have an orgasm.
- What?
Open wide.
- Good?
- Yeah.
- Do me.
- You're so lucky I'm gay.
- Can I ask you something?
- Shoot.
- How do you do it?
- Do what?
- Give head.
- What?
A blow job. I mean, do you start
on the tip of his penis?
Or you stroke it
while you use your mouth?
- Do you tickle the balls?
and receives them...
you must know the perfect way.
Show me.
What?
Okay.
You...
It's a little small.
You know, I got an idea.
Why don't you show me your
technique, and then I'll critique it.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Okay.
So look. First...
I slowly lick the tip
with my tongue, right?
- Right?
- That's good.
Then I gently go down
the shaft with my lips.
And in time, I tickle the balls.
Then I twirl my tongue
all the way...
back to the top.
Then I wet my lips.
I do a little playful nibbling.
"Eso me encanta
porque es maravilloso."
"Eu te amo, te amo."
How's that?
Jerry?
That's fine!
For goodness' sake, Lloyd.
At least kiss me first.
- No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did.
Now, where did I put that bag?
I'm just going to lay down.
Got it.
Now, before we go
back up with the boys...
what do you say
we do a couple of shots?
You're a goddamned genius.
Here you go.
Oh...
my...
God!
What are you doing?
I have a horrible taste in my mouth,
Jerry, and I can't get rid of it.
Did you eat something weird?
Yeah.
- I did a bad, bad thing, Jerry.
- What?
You know how the sea air makes
you disoriented and there was...
the drinking and the partying
and I slept with a man, Jerry.
Very funny.
No, it's not.
I just woke up in Ron's stateroom.
- With Ron.
- What?
I've chased a lot of women, Jerry.
To be honest...
I never actually scored with one
since I was a senior in high school...
and then I had to promise
to marry her.
A fifty-one year old
coffee shop waitress.
And a stroke victim...
with a fake leg...
and a lazy eye...
...and a mole with...
- I got it.
What I'm trying to say is...
maybe I'm meant to do more than
just play cards with these guys.
I'm finally happy.
So happy.
I'm gay.
One, two, three, four...
five, six, seven, eight.
And one, two, three, four...
five, six, seven, eight.
Good.
Good work, guys. Good work.
Hector, try not shaking
your ass so much.
You mean in the dance,
or in real life?
OK, guys. Thank you for coming. I'll
see you back here tonight at eleven.
Jerry, you are looking
fierce up there.
I can't remember when
I've had this much fun.
You know, you're just great.
Hey!
- Are you gonna go to the island?
- I am.
Do you want me to be
your tour guide?
I know the island very well.
- That would be yummy.
- Yummy.
Let's go.
Nicholas... I was beginning
I'm glad to see you finally got that
luscious full figure frame of yours...
...in the right dinghy.
- It's amazing.
A day ago I would've punched you in
the face for saying a thing like that.
- This place is paradise.
- Oh, yeah.
- We're gonna have an awesome time.
- I'll say.
I can already feel the men around here
undressing me with their eyes.
- Hungry? Want something to eat?
- Nope. I have a better idea.
- Let's go exploring first.
- Great.
Daddy, thanks so much for finding
Yeah, I'm sure things are gonna
work out, too.
Bye-bye. Love you, Daddy.
How do I get
to the Olympic Voyager?
Right this way, madam.
Be careful with those bags. They're
worth more than you make in a year.
Bon voyage... b*tch.
- Hi Nick. How you doing?
- Hey, fine.
I'm not sore, or anything.
Hey buddy, about last night...
I understand why it happened.
I mean, I'm pretty charismatic.
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"Boat Trip" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/boat_trip_4409>.
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