Boat Trip Page #6

If the moon hits me in just the right

way, I can look pretty damn tasty.

You're okay too, but I just really

rather we stay friends.

Alright. Me too, Nick.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- Wow.

- Yeah.

If I had said that to a chick,

she'd be a total mess right now.

I'm starting to see the upside

to this whole thing.

You do what Sonya says, team

You do what Sonya says

One, two, three, four.

Woke upwith no tanning cream

Now you're off the tanning team

- One, two, three, four.

- Coach, it's the Hawaiian Tropic team.

Hey, break it up, ladies! Come on!

Come on! Take it easy!

Break it up! Break it up!

Save it for the tanning competition!

Bad! You are bad.

Now everybody move out! Now!

Okay, girls.

Get your heinies on the donkeys.

Now.

Nick.

I just wanted to say goodbye.

I'm going to the airport now.

Inga, it was great almost

knowing you.

Nick, if you're ever near

Gettzemllersteigen, Sweden...

...I would love to see you again.

- I don't think so, baby.

I don't think this is gonna work out.

But, I thought you liked me, Nick.

- I'm confused.

- So am I. You don't even know.

You better hurry.

You have an ass to catch.

And you...

Hey.

And go.

Oh, it feels good.

Hey, Nick. About last night...

you don't think

anything happened, do you?

- What do you think happened?

- Nothing.

You and I drank too much

and then fell asleep.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah.

Inga!

Inga!

Well, I think we lost

that one forever.

A lot of potential in that boy.

He could've been

one of the great ones.

I saw in him

what I saw in Elton John.

Had your Vitamin C today?

You know, you really make me laugh.

I'm so glad we met.

You know...

it really is a shame

to let this place go to waste.

Just a friendly kiss?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I don't want to feel like I am...

pressuring you into doing something

you don't want to do.

I want to do this very badly.

- Really?

- Yes.

So, let me be your guide.

And I promise I'm gonna be gentle.

I'm gonna be patient.

And I'm going to take it

very, very slowly.

Great.

Jerry... Jerry...

You're a really quick stud.

That's enough foreplay.

Excuse me. Could you ring

Jerry Robinson's room, please?

Certainly.

No one seems

to be answering, ma'am.

Could you give me his room number?

I'm sorry, we're not allowed

to divulge that information.

Would you like to leave a message?

No, thanks.

I want to surprise him.

Thank you.

You wanna have dinner

with me tonight?

- No.

- Why not?

Because I'm falling in love

with you.

You are?

Yes, I am.

Of all the dumb, boneheaded, romantic

moves I've made over the years...

...this will be the dumbest.

- Now wait a minute.

- This could work.

- How do you think it's gonna work?

I cannot make you into something

you're not, Jerry.

I do that with every man

I fall for and it has to stop.

- Besides, you already have someone.

- No, I don't.

What about Nick?

That's just physical.

Listen, I have to accept

who you really are.

I really want to be alone right now.

- Hi.

- Hi.

It's kind of nice

seeing another woman aboard.

Tell me about it.

All I've seen are men.

Most of them gay.

Well, it is a gay cruise.

- What did you just say?

- You didn't know?

No! I came on board to get back

together with my boyfriend.

I don't get it! Why in the world

would he be on a gay...

Good luck.

Thanks.

We're just gonna put them

on the stage.

Hector!

- Have you seen Gabriella?

- No, I've been looking for her myself.

Everything is falling apart.

The music is not ready.

Victor, the lead dancer, is seasick.

And look at my costume!

It hangs. It's supposed to drape!

OK, if you see Gabriella, could you

give her this message for me, please?

How could I've been so blind?

I mean, the signs were right

in front of my eyes.

Foreign films... grab a convertible.

Gourmet mustards.

Wait... maybe he's only curious.

I mean, there was that

one time when I was in college...

my roommate Bianca and I,

we shared a Jacuzzi.

That got kinda hot.

- I got to go, pal. Keep the change.

- Thanks.

Think twice before you

blow the man down!

Get everybody ready for the next

number. They have less than a minute.

What?

Nobody told me Victor was too sick

to dance. Who's gonna be the lead?

I' m coming

Comin' out

I' m comin' out

Oh, my God.

I' m comin' out

I want the world to know

Got to let it show

I' m comin' out

I want the world to know

Got to let it show

I' m comin' out

There's a new me coming out

And I just have to live

And I just wanna give

I' m completely positive

I think this time around

I am gonna do it

Like you never knew it

I' II make it through

The time has come for me

To break out of a shell

I have to shout

That I am coming out

I' m comin' out

I want the world to know

Got to let it show

I' m comin' out

I want the world to know

Got to let it show

I' m comin' out

I' m comin' out

I want the world to know

Got to let it show

I' m comin' out

I want the world to know

Got to let it show

I' m comin' out

I want the world to know

Got to let it show

I' m comin' out

I want the world to know

Got to let it show

- Cocksucker!

- Felicia!

I was talking to him.

Felicia!

- Felicia! What are you doing here?

- Don't even talk to me.

- I feel so humiliated.

- Well, how did you find me?

What were you thinking about

when we were making love, Jerry?

- Cabana Boys?

- Hey, I am not gay.

And to think

I wanted to be your wife!

What?

I really missed you, Jerry.

All the special times we had.

We complemented each other.

We could've built a life together.

- Build a life together?

- Yes!

- What about Andr, the buffer boy?

- It was just a fling.

A horrible, thoughtless,

insensitive mistake.

But it showed me

what I really wanted, Jerry.

A stable, decent man who would

always be there for me.

And I thought that that was you.

What are you saying?

You want to get back together?

Well, I did.

Before I found out

that you were gay.

How could you think I'm gay?

You're standing there preening

like a gay peacock...

and you don't want me to think

you're tutti-frutti?

For heaven's sake, Felicia. I'm not

gay and I never have been gay.

Then why the hell

are you on this boat?

Nick! Nick and I got on

this cruise by mistake.

And then I met this girl

and she assumed I was gay!

And then I stupidly went along

with it because...

She's behind me, isn't she?

How could you?

Gabriella, I'm sorry.

- I tried to tell you.

- You're an a**hole, Jerry.

Not again!

That was the girl

I was talking about.

Well, looks like you

had a dumb fling yourself.

I'll tell you what.

If you can forgive me...

I can certainly forgive you.

And we can get married

just like you always wanted, Jerry.

I love you, baby.

What do you say?

Great.

Now one of the bride and groom

staring at each other lovingly.

- You look so beautiful.

- Thank you.

Why don't we both look beautiful?

Take out that earring.

Felicia is good for me.

She planned this entire wedding,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes