Bon Cop, Bad Cop Page #7

after all!

- I don't know what that means.

(whispering):
It means

he wants to have sex with you.

(chuckling)

- Come on, it must've hurt.

- No. Itjust felt,

like, this big electric shock.

I was waiting to die.

But nothing. No pain.

Huh, Martin? Isn't it true?

If the bullet goes right through,

it can take up to 10 minutes

before you start to feel any pain.

- I usually try to solve most

of my cases without getting shot.

- What happened

to the guy who shot you?

- I shot back. He was dead

before he hit the ground.

But because of the bleeding,

I started to feel, uh...

etourdi.

- Dizzy.

- Dizzy, that's it.

So I'm, like, "Okay, let's go outside,

get some fresh air

and wait for the back-up."

So I handcuff the dead guy,

head for the backyard.

- That seems almost cautious.

- What?

- Handcuffing the dead guy.

- Yeah, I know.

But the night before that,

I saw "Fatal Attraction."

- Oh, yeah.

- You know?

She's in the bathtub,

you think she's dead...

And then... argh! Yeah.

So I didn't want to take any chances.

So I'm in the backyard,

light up a smoke,

try to get some air,

and tout a coup...

- All of a sudden.

- All of a sudden,

the dead guy's dog jumps on me.

And, I mean,

he's mad en tabarnac.

- That's really, really bad.

- Is he bullshitting us?

- I don't know.

- It's true, swear to God.

Look, I have a scar.

(laughing)

So I'm bleeding like crazy,

I'm fighting the dog

with my, uh... mains nues.

- Bare hands.

- Yeah, that's it.

- Why didn't you just shoot it?

- The dog was only doing its job.

- Exactly.

So last thing I remember,

I had the dog in a headlock.

- Oui.

- And we both passed out.

A few minutes later,

the back-up arrives,

they find the dead guy with

handcuffs in the living room

and me and the dog

in the backyard,

endormi en cuillere.

- Spooning.

- Lucky dog.

(glass tinkling)

- Jonathan?

(gun cocking)

- If you're such a hotshot cop,

show me where your gun is.

- Search me.

- Jonathan?

(gasping)

(gunshots)

Argh!

Argh!

(grunting)

(groaning)

- Dad!

- Argh!

- Leave my dad alone!

- Argh!

Tabarnac!

Sorry, kid. Argh!

(grunting)

- Teach me something else.

- Leo et Lea go to school.

- Leo...

- Et Lea...

- Leo et Lea...

- You all right?

- Yeah. That was cool.

- Thanks!

That was great!

(panting)

- What else?

- Long live a free Quebec!

- What's that mean?

- Oh, Jesus!

Bouchard!

- Vive le Quebec libre!

Oh, long live a free Quebec!

Long live a free Quebec!

(moaning)

Oh, Quebec... uh, Quebec free...

(moaning)

- What the f***

are you doing here?

- Iris, it's for you.

- Of course it's for me.

It's my... Hey. Oh, God...

What are you guys doing here?

- I saved Dad's life.

- From what?

Cardiac arrest

watching curling on TV?

- From Therrien.

He's alive, he was in my house.

- What the f***

are you talking about?

- I kicked his ass.

- He got away.

- You're sure it was him?

- Yeah, I'm sure.

- Why would he try to kill you?

- He was trying to kill us!

He had no idea

you'd be with my sister.

- So who was in the trunk

of my car?

- I don't know,

but the body's in Montreal,

and Therrien is here.

(phone ringing)

- Last call! Last...

Allo?

- Jeff?

- Yes?

- It's Dave. Have you identified

the body that blew up in my car?

- I was just working on it,

Do you know how much overtime

I'm doing because of you?

It's like a 5,000-piece puzzle

that you lend to a cousin

and it came back half-empty,

'cause there's a piece in the sofa,

there's another one

stuck to a sock in the dryer...

- Jeff, I don't have time for this.

- If it was a guy in your car,

then the operation

was a complete success.

- What are you talking about?

- The guy was a girl.

I didn't have a DNA match,

but late yesterday

I got some dental records.

So I gave her a toothbrush

and she's really happy now.

- Jeff, who is it?

- Hold on a sec.

Her name is...

Rita Beaumont. Rita Beaumont.

Not a really interesting name,

is it?

- Rita, the barmaid?

Thanks, Jeff.

- Hey, by the way,

you know that...

Rita spelled backwards...

Uh, never mind.

- Thanks, Jeff.

- No problem.

- That would've been helpful

to know.

- F***. She was trying to call you,

that's why.

Therrien must've known

and gotten rid of her.

- No, no, no. Therrien was

in the trunk of the car.

He would've had to have broken out

of the trunk, stolen a car,

driven back to the bar,

grabbed the girl,

grabbed a bomb

that he prepared for that purpose,

driven back to your car,

put her in the trunk,

and then rigged the bomb?

The show wasn't that long.

- He's not alone.

(phone ringing)

(phone ringing)

(phone ringing)

- Allo?

- Suzie?

- Oui. David?

Nice time to call someone.

- How's everything at home?

- Fine.

You sound strange.

Have you been drinking?

- No. No.

It's just... I don't know.

I'm a little Ionely.

Can I talk to Gabrielle?

- David, she's sleeping.

Like normal people do

at this hour.

- I know... I...

I just need to hear her voice.

- What aren't you telling me?

- Please, Suzie.

- What is it?

- Suzie!

- I'm going, I'm going.

I'm upstairs.

She slept in your room.

She misses you too, you know.

Gabrielle...

Gabrielle?

Gabrielle!

David, the door is open!

She's gone!

She's not here!

I put her to bed earlier

and now she's gone!

(phone ringing)

David!

David, answer me!

- Hello?

- David?

- Who is this?

- Oh, it's Detective Ward.

I have a call for Mr. David Bouchard

from his daughter.

Is he available?

- If you touch my baby,

I'll kill you, motherf***er!

- Your daughter is fine.

Gabrielle, it's your father.

- Daddy, come get me, please!

I'm scared!

- Gabrielle!

- Daddy, help me!

- Shut up!

I have nothing

against your daughter.

But you are really starting

to piss me off!

- What do you want?

- I assume

that a smart fellow like you

would know who's next on my list.

Stay out of my way.

Let me do my grand finale.

And after that

you'll get your daughter back.

Safe and sound.

- My daughter has nothing

to do with this.

Take me instead.

- True.

And it wouldn't be right

for anything bad to happen to her.

Because of you.

(laughing)

(crying)

- Suzie...

(Suzie screaming)

- What is going to happen?

Tell me, tell me.

What have you done?

Don't touch me.

Get your hands off me!

I want my daughter!

Do you understand?!

If he touches her...

If he does anything to her,

I never want to see you again!

- I'm sorry.

(both crying)

I'm sorry.

- Bring back our daughter.

Bring back our daughter.

- Okay.

- Is she okay?

(car approaching)

- Salut.

- Salut.

- Everything you asked for

is in the car.

- Thanks.

- Can I do anything else?

- Stay with Suzie, okay?

- Hey, Mike.

- Hey, Stef.

- We have to go.

Let me drive.

- Give me some privacy.

- Okay, boss.

- Hey, is this press conference

going to happen or what?

Some of us have deadlines.

If you want us to write about this

before next season starts...

- Sorry for the delay, everyone.

Mr. Buttman will be here any minute.

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