Boo! A Madea Halloween Page #14

That's all my people from my hood.

How did you get

all these fake officers?

Hell, Brian know

a whole bunch of people.

That's how I got a fake officer.

You know I don't mess

around with no real officer.

Oh, no, Madea.

Those aren't fake officers.

They're not fake officers.

Those are real officers.

Who do you think I am?

Federal prosecutor.

I brought the real officers.

- Say what?

- Those aren't fake officers.

- These the real police?

- Yeah.

- Real po-po? One time?

- Yeah.

Okay, I can handle this.

Oh, sh*t.

Wait, so all the officers

in our house right now are real?

Now there's nothing in there you

have to be afraid of, is there, son?

We found marijuana in the house.

You ain't got no prescription.

You ain't got no prescription.

Hey, don't I know you?

Let's ride.

I know I know you from somewhere!

Madea!

- Madea!

- Hey, where you going?

He ain't gon' never catch me...

That's the way to get rid of them.

Come on, let's go home.

- Madea! Madea!

- I'm sorry.

You are learning.

Madea, come back and get me!

I remember I was sitting there

trying to teach you how to read.

And I told you to use the

word "bishop" in a sentence.

And you said,

"The bishop was at the church."

I said

"Boy, that ain't what that word means."

Then you got mad at me

because I was telling you

what the word really means.

Then you say

"Daddy, use it in a sentence."

So I use it in a sentence for you.

This is what I say.

"Bishop", this is what it means.

"Your mama came in the house

drunk, falling down

and I had to pick the bishop."

Whoop that ass.

- We going. Hold on here.

- Mabel!

That's all right.

This son of a b*tch gonna

start one of these days.

Madea!

Got any oil in there?

That's all right.

I got everything in here.

Don't look like you got

no gas because we still ain't left.

Yo, man, wait.

Remember that time.

Y'all got to stop laughing.

You all over my lines.

Stop jumping my lines.

Who the hell is that

up there walking for real? Now hold on.

Hold the hell on.

Hold the hell on. Who's upstairs?

I told Kanye I could've rapped with him,

he wouldn't let me

go on the road with him.

- You see, I'm on the canes now.

- Yes, I see it.

Yeah.

Hell, I'm killing the cameraman.

All of them got carbon

monoxide poisoning by now.

Here we go.

You got to go home.

After I'm done.

I ain't doing all that

cuddling and holding,

acting like I like you.

I ain't finna do that.

I wanna be in my bed by myself.

Thank you. I'll see you later.

Your 20 dollars is on the dresser.

Look at...

I ain't gonna tell her what happened.

Do you know what a ho is?

No, you don't. Be glad.

Well, you do. Well, your mama.

Your mama was a ho.

But that's all right.

That's all right.

God gotta make room for everybody.

Yeah, when she died I had to bury her

on her belly to give her ass a break.

'Cause she was just worn out.

But last year I was actually a ghost.

Wait, you just said

you don't celebrate ghosts.

Oh, no, the Holy Ghost.

Can somebody just be on a script?

See, we've said some things twice.

Yeah, I've been telling them

that she went down there to the doctor.

And the doctor told her

that she can't have sex for a while.

That's what the doctor told her.

I said, well,

"What did the dentist say?"

Oh, sh*t.

It's too late for this sh*t.

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