Boo! A Madea Halloween Page #9

Please, please get back to me.

Call me back, please.

Hattie! Turn the water off!

Hattie.

Hattie...

Hattie, you got to start

turning the water off

when you come in here.

What the hell?

What the...

Huh?

Wait a minute.

I know I turned this, I said turn off.

What the hell is that? Get... Get...

What the hell?

Mabel! What the hell is this?

Get your fat... They talkin' to...

Mabel! Madea! Madea!

And Halloween

is going to the dogs this year,

at the annual Halloween

dog costume contest.

Dogs are hard at work,

trying to come up with a...

Came dressed as fairies, dinosaurs,

superheroes, pirates, and royalty.

But what really surprised the crowd

was a guest appearance...

Even the dogs were

getting into the festivities,

doing a little trick-or-treating

of their own.

But not all dogs

were enjoying the festivities.

But overall, it was

a wonderful day had by all.

In other news, two people

were killed when the driver of a...

What the hell wrong with

this here remote control?

Hattie... Hattie...

Oh, hell no,

now you gonna call my name?

Hattie.

Yes, Lord?

You don't need the Lord.

I know him.

It's not the Lord.

We interrupt your

regularly scheduled programming

to bring you this special notice.

I'm Mr. Wilson.

Mr. Wilson? Oh, hell no! Hell no!

Madea! Madea! Madea! Madea!

Madea! Madea!

Hattie, what the hell

is wrong with you?

- Ma! Madea!

- Mabel!

What the... What the hell

is wrong with y'all?

Ma, I've seen something in my room.

My TV won't go off.

- What?

- I was in that bathroom

- and the water wouldn't go off.

- Get up.

Mabel, I'm not playing with you,

listen to me.

I looked in the mirror, Mabel,

and there's something wrote,

"Get your fat ass out of here. Or die."

- Mabel, they're talking to me.

- Y'all believin' that girl?

That ain't nothing but Joe

playing a trick on y'all.

No, Joe's downstairs.

He's still downstairs.

He's sitting in that chair.

He's still sitting in that chair.

- He's still... Yeah.

- Where he was before?

Y'all go to bed.

Stop acting like y'all scared.

Ma, don't try to act like

you ain't scared.

- You scared, ain't you?

- I am not scared.

- Mabel...

- Honey, I'm not scared.

Mabel, why are you up here in this bed?

With your good running church shoes.

Mabel, you got every light on in here.

I was reading.

Reading what?

I was trying to read the Bible.

- You weren't reading no Bible, Ma!

- Where is the Bible?

It's on the table in my heart.

Mabel, we gotta get out of here.

- Okay.

- I'm having a...

- Did that come from the attic?

- Yeah.

Did she say he was in the attic?

Get the hell on up out of here!

Y'all get the hell up out of here!

Mabel.

Y'all know I can't

run down these stairs.

What the hell?

Now, Joe, stop playing games

on these old ladies up there!

I ain't playing no damn jokes.

I'm playing with myself.

Joe, I know it's you.

I know you're down here doin' it.

Look, everybody out here out of breath.

Can't breathe at all.

Bam tired running down the stairs.

Damn, you out of shape.

How the hell you get this out of breath

running down the stairs, Bam?

Now Joe, stop it.

Now, y'all come on, we only got

a few more hours to be in this house.

Now, come on, let's go on

up there and go to bed.

- Madea! You heard that, Ma?

- I heard hollering like a damn fool.

- Ma, I know you heard it upstairs.

- No, I didn't. I didn't hear nothing.

Yes, you did, Ma. You know, they say

that's where he killed

his whole entire family,

up in the attic.

Joe, you see these ladies is worried.

Get up and be a man and go on up there

and check and see what's in the attic.

B*tch, please.

Mabel, come on, take me home.

Hey, I'll take all you hoes to a hotel,

if you hoes don't tell.

Shut the hell up!

Ma, go on up there

and see what's going on.

I'm gonna stay down here with Joe.

Me too.

I'm gonna go.

- I ain't scared.

- Okay, great.

I ain't never scared.

- You're not scared.

- I'm never scared.

- Then go up there then.

- I'm going up there.

- You bad.

- I'm never scared.

- You bad.

- I'm bad. Who's bad?

- I ain't scared of nothing!

- Okay, great.

The hell I got up here

making all this noise?

Probably nothing but these pipes

rattling like they do in my house.

I don't know what's going on up here.

Okay, great. Bye, Mabel.

- I ain't scared. I'll be back.

- Okay, great.

- Bye, Mabel.

- Okay, great.

If she don't come back I just

want y'all to know, that's a dude.

I wanna go home, Mabel.

I ain't scared of nothing.

I ain't scared of nothing.

I ain't never been scared of nothing.

I've been big all my life.

I had to be brave.

All my life I had to fight.

I ain't never thought

I'd have to fight in Brian's house.

Ain't nobody up here.

Nobody. Ain't nobody up here.

Hey, ain't nobody up here.

I don't see nothing.

Yeah, ain't nothing up here.

Got all these crazy-looking costumes

and everything, ain't nothing up here.

Damn clown was back there.

I know the damn clown did not just

move from where it was.

Madea, you think she's all right?

Ain't nothing to worry about.

What? What?

Oh, Jesus. Ma!

Mabel, are you all right?

I thought there were a herd of buffalo

coming down the damn stairs.

- Shaking up the whole damn house.

- Dea, what happened?

We got to go to my house.

We got to get the hell up out of here.

I thought you'd never ask!

- Yes. Yes. Let's go.

- Ma, let's ride!

What the hell is wrong with you, Hattie?

Uh-uh.

- Ah... Look!

- I don't see nothing!

I'm not gonna fall for that.

There's a clown.

You saw a clown?

- Yes.

- What'd he look like?

Oh, a dirty-looking clown.

He's a crazy-looking clown!

I saw one upstairs in the attic, too.

I'm looking at three damn clowns.

Put y'all three side by side,

you shaped like a one-oh-one.

Get the hell on up out of here.

Joe, I'm telling you there's

something in this house.

I gotta get out of here.

We got to go.

We got to go.

I don't see nothing. He gone.

- Yeah.

- I know.

Mabel!

I'm getting ready to choke

the hell out of her.

- I'm gonna punch her dead.

- Mabel.

Hey, girl, I'm getting ready to clog

your esophagus. Shut up!

It moved!

- What the hell is wrong with you?

- It moved!

Yeah, if something is behind me...

- Mabel. Oh, Lord!

- I'm gonna...

I'm telling you right now, girl...

There's some... What?

Mabel, no! No, look!

What's that breathing?

It's a clown, Ma!

I don't like no clown.

Run! Run!

Get the hell out the door!

Get the hell out the door!

Mabel!

Hell no! Hell no! Hell no!

Hell no! Hell no!

Hell no, girl! Hell no!

Get in the car!

Get in the car!

Get in the car, Hattie!

Get in the car, Bam!

Come on, Bam!

Get in the car!

Get in my car! Get in the car!

Open my door! Y'all know

I had hip surgery!

Mabel, be careful!

- Why we just sitting here?

- I forgot the keys, girl.

Ah! Hotwire it!

Barn, what kind of lady

do you think I am?

I'm a lady, I don't know

how to hotwire a car.

Who the hell do you think I am,

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