Boo 2! A Madea Halloween Page #11

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- Don't go nowhere, Ma.

- Go on in the outhouse.

- I'll be right back, Ma.

- Go on in there. Hell.

All right, Ma. I'll be out directly.

- Yes, okay. Go on in.

- All right.

Okay. Ma?

- Yes?

- You still there?

If I wasn't out here, Hattie,

would I be saying "yes"?

All right, I won't be a long time.

Be out in a while here.

In a minute. Just give me a minute.

Just hurry the hell up.

All right, Ma.

It's crazy out here.

All right.

- You still there, Ma?

- [SQUELCHING]

Ma?

[GROWLING]

Ma?

Ma, you still there?

- [MADEA SCREAMING]

- [HATTIE] Madea?

Help me, Jesus! Help me!

You still there, Ma?

Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jesus!

Help me, Jesus!

- Help me, Jesus!

- [HATTIE] Madea?

Help me, Jesus! I need you, Jesus!

- I repent all my sins!

- Madea?

Help me, Jesus!

[WAILING]

Ma?

Madea?

Madea?

[MOANING]

[MOANING CONTINUES]

- [BANGING ON DOOR]

- [SHOUTING] Madea!

Ma!

[SCREAMING] Ma!

Ma!

Madea!

Madea!

Yeah, Bam. Hell. That's what I know.

So, you know, if it don't work

out with them, you know...

Just, I got you covered.

Don't worry about it.

- [MADEA GRUNTING]

- Mabel!

- Get in the car. Get in the car.

- Joe...

- What?

- Uh, I need you to go check on Hattie.

[SCOFFS] Why you ain't help out, bruh?

We got to get the hell outta here.

What happened?

[MADEA] I saw him, girl. He out there.

I saw Derrick, baby. He out there. He real.

What?

- What the hell happened?

- [MADEA] I saw him.

Mabel, what?

I know this gotta be them dumb college kids

playing a game, I know it.

[HATTIE SCREAMING] Madea! Madea!

- Madea!

- [JOE] What the hell is wrong with her?

[HATTIE] Madea! Ma, open the door!

- Madea!

- The hell is wrong with you?

- Madea!

- What?

Ma!

You didn't have to leave me like that, Ma.

I sure the hell did.

You should've seen him

comin' out that damn water.

I had to get the hell outta there.

Around here, it's every man for himself.

[BAM] Ma, Ma.

- I saw her, Ma!

- [JOE] Saw who?

- That little girl.

- That little girl's back there.

How the hell you see her over there?

[HATTIE] Joe, that little girl.

I just seen that little girl.

And she tried to get me!

- You say she was what?

- She was...

She was watchin' me piss!

I saw him too.

Nah, Ma.

Uh, uh, uh.

Joe, don't start nothin'.

Uh, oh... Hell no.

I ain't finna look back there, Joe.

Somethin' back there,

I'mma punch you dead in yo' face.

Look! Look!

Look!

[CHAINSAW WHIRRING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

- [JOE] Oh, hell.

- [HATTIE] Go, Joe! drive, Joe! Drive!

[YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

Sheriff? Sheriff.

Calm down.

My daughter is at Lake Derrick.

We told those kids not to go up there

and they sneak up there all the time.

Okay, well, she needs help

because she says she's in trouble.

Well, I've got a deputy

up there and I'll look in...

No, no, no. I need help now, Sheriff.

I'm working on it.

Have a seat.

I'm not gonna sit down. This is my daughter.

Well, there's nothing you can do.

Oh, God, I shouldn't have let her go.

I shouldn't have let her go up there.

No, you should not have let her go.

I know. I'm sorry, Brian.

But can you please help?

- I don't know what I can do.

- Please.

Do something!

- How are you this calm?

- Okay, fine. All right.

Sheriff, do you think...

[SHERIFF] Okay, come on. I'll take a ride.

I appreciate it. Thank you.

Calvin, it may be, uh...

A little dangerous up there.

Do you wanna go with us?

Uh, no, no, it's okay.

You guys got this, right?

I'll stay and, you know, comfort her, okay?

- Yeah, okay.

- Yeah, thanks.

Really, she needs me, you know?

My dad calls it "buice."

"Buice."

Thank you, guys. You got this, you know?

[MADEA] Joe, this car ain't gonna make it.

[HATTIE] Mabel...

[MADEA] I don't know what's goin' on, but

I don't believe it's gonna make it.

[BAM] That's what I mean

about this not a nice car.

[HATTIE] We need to take cover, Ma.

Hell no.

What the hell you stoppin' for, Joe?

This car. That's what she was talking about.

You ain't got no nice car.

Joe, come on, y'all. Let's go!

Do you know what a woman's car say about her?

It tells you if she any good in the bed.

If a woman got a nice car, that means

a man done put down some money

and got her a nice car.

You know what this car say about you?

Don't nobody give a nuts!

You b*tch ass!

[JOE] Look here. We gotta take cover, I say.

What?

Yes. That's what I did

when I was in the military.

Joe, you was a cook in the army.

What you taking shelter for?

How the hell you know

what I was doin' in the army?

Was you there, bruh?

They only allowed dudes in there.

Was it you who was in the [MUMBLES] platoon?

And where the hell

is we supposed to take some shelter?

- Right.

- There.

[WOMEN SCOFFING]

Ain't no way I'm goin' up there.

Now, first of all,

Bam don't climb no steps. Number one.

And she ain't goin'

up in that raggedy-ass house.

Look at that. Uh-uh.

Haunted house. No.

[JOE] Bam, somebody tryin'

to kill your ignorant ass,

and you won't walk up five steps?

- Joe.

- That's somethin', man.

You'll walk up them steps for a honey bun.

I know that.

Your ass'll get up there

for a damn honey bun.

Ain't no dang way I'm goin' up there.

Fine. Sit here and be goat meat

for one of these killers.

You think somebody livin' up in there?

Hattie, that's just ignorance

fallin' out your darn lips right now.

That is ignorance fallin'

from your lips through your brain.

That don't make no sense to me at all.

Look at that house. Do you believe

anybody lives up in that house?

I know all that, Ma. But doggone!

[STUTTERING] Will you just hush?

[MADEA] Please!

Y'all think they got a telephone in there?

Is she serious?

Is she serious?

Why the hell

would they have a telephone up there?

- They windows is boarded up.

- Right, if they can't afford a window,

how the hell

are they gonna afford a telephone?

I don't care if they got a phone in there.

That's shelter. Y'all better go on.

Wait, wait, wait. Wait.

Joe, why don't you just go

up there and knock on the door?

[MADEA] Right. Then why don't you go knock?

Go on up in there and knock?

You go knock. I think a man

should go up there and knock.

Yeah, you just answered your own question.

Go on up there and knock.

You know you got a scrotum.

[SCREAMING]

Hattie, you gonna have to stop that!

[HATTIE] That's that little bim!

That's that little bim!

What's that, little bim?

Ma, look at that little bim!

That's that little bim!

- Hattie!

- Get off, get off!

Get out! Get out of here, Bam!

Here I go!

[MADEA SCREAMING]

[HATTIE SCREAMING]

[BAM] Oh, lordy! Oh, these steps!

- [MADEA] My knees! My breasts! My back!

- [HATTIE] We gonna need a bottle.

[INDISTINCT BABBLING]

[BAM] Mabel, I can't take...

Yeah, got rid of them asses.

I told my dad and uncle

the awful things you said to me.

And they wanna talk to you.

Hurry up! Get the hell in here!

- [MADEA] Why the hell are you so slow!

- [BAM] Mabel!

Mabel! Slow, nothin'.

Y'all tryin' to kill me, ain't you?

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