Boo 2! A Madea Halloween Page #10

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- Hey, quick question.

- What?

How fast can you run?

- Why?

- That.

[CHAINSAW WHIRRING]

[SCREAMS] Oh, my God! Run! Go!

Get out of my way!

So you know what I want for my birthday?

No. [LAUGHS]

You.

[CHUCKLES]

You should take your clothes off.

- Right now?

- Yeah, right now.

[GIGGLING]

- Dino told me this was gonna happen.

- No, no, no.

- No, no, no, no!

- No? Do I look fat?

- Look, look, look!

- It was my cheat day!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

Oh, no, no, no!

[GROWLING]

- [BOTH SCREAMING]

- [JONATHAN] Oh, my God!

No, no, no!

- What?

- We have to look for Leah and Gabriella.

No, Tiffany, they're on their own!

We came here with them. We can't leave them.

- Oh, Tiffany, come on. I don't wanna die!

- We have to find them!

I don't wanna die either,

but they don't wanna die!

Gabriella! Oh, my God!

- [WHIMPERING]

- We gotta go.

- We gotta go.

- We have to go.

- There's something going on here.

- I know. We need to leave!

I saw a road over there. Let's go.

All right, who has a phone?

Um, uh... It's in my b*obs. Hold on.

[TIFFANY STRUGGLING]

[GRUNTING]

I have reception. I have reception.

I can make a call.

- Who are you gonna call?

- I'm gonna call the police!

No! We don't wanna get in trouble again!

I'll call my mom. She'll know what to do.

You're caring about

getting into trouble when we're gonna die?

- Yeah!

- [GABRIELLA] Oh, my gosh.

[LINE RINGING]

- [DEBRAH] Hello?

- Hello? Mom? Mom?

- You havin' a good time?

- No!

- You need to come and get us!

- What's goin' on?

There's something happening.

There's a guy with a chainsaw.

- What?

- I don't know!

- [GABRIELLA] There's ghosts.

- Where are you, Tiffany?

I don't know. I'm in the woods.

Someone's trying to kill us!

- Where? Where are you?

- I don't know!

Stay on the line.

Hello? Hello?

The call dropped.

- What do we do? We gotta get outta here.

- I don't know.

[CHAINSAW WHIRRING]

[ALL SCREAMING]

- [BAM] Mabel, doesn't look good.

- [MADEA] Be careful, Joe. Hell.

[JOE] Here we go again.

Tryin' to tell a man...

[MADEA] Joe, pull over there.

You're going too damn fast.

- Pull right here.

- [JOE] Look here, bruh.

- [MADEA] Pull up, Joe. Hell.

- [JOE] Shut up, dude.

[MADEA] Get off the damn road

before somebody hit my Cadillac.

- [JOE] Shut up, sir.

- [MADEA] Pull up right here.

Pull up. You got to let it cool off, Joe.

- [JOE] Let a man drive.

- [MADEA] Pull up here.

[JOE] We all know you wanna be a man.

[MADEA] Stop, stop, stop! Damn!

- [MADEA] Turn the car off.

- [JOE] Can't run with y'all.

- [MADEA] Turn it off. Hell.

- They have a car out here!

[MADEA] Is this where they supposed to be?

- [LEAH] They were.

- [JOE] Need some air freshener up in here.

[MADEA] The hell? This girl got me

out here lookin' all over for her.

Get on out the car, y'all.

[HATTIE] Ma, you sure?

[MADEA] Yes, hell.

[HATTIE] We gonna get out here?

[MADEA] Yes, this girl got me out here

lookin' for her.

Come on, Bam!

[BAM] There's another sign, Mabel.

Why, we need to...

Why, we don't need to be out here at all.

I just want you to know.

If they don't come back, I'm here for you.

- Uh... [SIGHS]

- Good girl.

Look here, I'm just trying

to be me, you know?

It's okay.

Yeah, you, you over 18, ain't you?

No. Mmm-mmm.

Oh, hell. Well, never mind.

- No.

- I was just gonna make you feel like a...

- Nope.

- ...a woman.

Where is she at? Come on down here!

- [HATTIE] Ma!

- Come on down here!

We need to get on up outta here

before these here people get back, Ma.

Which is another sign

why we need to get outta here, Mabel.

- Where is everybody at?

- We need to go!

- Ma?

- What?

I gotta use the bathroom.

Well, do like Bam here.

Go on, squirt and just piss on yourself.

I do not piss on myself.

Okay, well, do like Bam

and squirt a little pee then.

- Squirt a little pee.

- Mabel...

Who you know don't squirt?

I don't squirt. I shakes.

I'm gonna need y'all to quit this here now.

I said I got to go to the bathroom.

- Well, where the...

- Look it.

That look like an outhouse over there.

Go on over there and use it.

We'll be right here.

- [HATTIE] Say what?

- That outhouse.

- That's where the bathroom's at?

- Yes.

Over across the waters over there?

Yeah, girl, go on.

Ma, you, you want...

What if that little girl over there?

- [BAM LAUGHS]

- What?

What if that little girl over there, Ma?

I ain't in the mood for this tonight,

I ain't lyin'.

God, we left that little girl way back there.

She ain't round here nowhere.

Go on over there to use the bathroom

so we can get the hell outta here.

Ma, you'll go with me?

Why the hell I gotta go? I don't gotta pee!

Ma, I'm scared to go

over there by myself, Ma.

- I don't wanna go over there.

- [SIGHS]

Look, I just need to find this girl,

let my car cool off,

try to put some air in my tire

so I can get the hell up outta here.

Come on. Go with me, Ma, please.

Hell, come on, then. Hell, come on.

I know I ain't goin' over there with y'all.

- I'll be right here when ya'll...

- We know, Bam.

I love your little outfit you got on.

You see... What is that? A pussycat?

- [CHUCKLES]

- I'm a leopard.

You're a leopard?

Oh, okay, if you're a leopard,

then I will make sure

your stripes get in order.

[CHUCKLES] Sh*t.

I know you want me.

They say once you go black,

you never go back.

Once you go old,

you might get mold. [LAUGHS]

Molded into what I want you to be.

- [CHUCKLES]

- Ugh.

Yeah. You know, they call me a mule.

[GASPS] No! No, no, no!

[SHOUTS] No! Ah!

That's pretty much what happens

every time I tell a woman that, that I'm...

They call me "mule." [CHUCKLES]

- 'Cause I'm hung.

- [CAR SEAT STRAINING]

[CHUCKLES]

I know she run.

You better run, 'cause once you go old...

Little girl,

I don't know where your mama and daddy at,

but I'm not the man you wanna mess with.

They should have warned you about me.

I'm a pimp from back in the day.

I would slap your ass silly.

Go on somewhere with that bull, little girl.

[SOBBING]

That's just what the hell I thought.

[MADEA] Come on, Hattie. Hell.

Walk on over here to the bathroom.

[HATTIE] Ma, that sure is a long way

- across the bridge.

- [MADEA] Go on across the bridge! Hell!

Scared of everything.

[HATTIE] Ma, this here water

look kind of spooky here.

[MADEA] Ain't nothin' wrong with it.

Just an outhouse over here.

We used to have these back in the country.

Outhouse? Well, I don't know

nothin' about that.

[MADEA] Go, come on! Go ahead.

This bridge bouncing.

[HATTIE] I don't like the looks

of things around here.

This here... What is that?

Uh-uh, I play about a lot of things,

but my life ain't one of them.

Ma, make sure you stand here with me, hear?

Fine, there, the outhouse is there.

[HATTIE] All right.

You stay here. You wait right here for me.

I'mma wait right here. Go on in there.

- All right.

- I'mma wait right here.

- Go on in.

- All right.

I'm right here, Hattie.

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