Boobs in the Wood Page #3

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- Let's all check it out.

- Sh*t, they're robbing the place.

- No sh*t! As if I didn't know.

- We got to get out of here.

- Let's stay and let them rob the place.

- Then maybe they'll leave.

- Do you know where we're at?

Where's the other one?

I think he's coming.

I've got something for his ass.

Hold on, man. Oh, sh*t!

- Look. There's someone in here.

- Bring them here.

- I just wanted some Tic Tacs.

- Get in the front.

Hurry up!

They ain't nothing.

They go to school with my sister.

- Stacey?

- Don't say my name.

He's got a heart, though.

When I beat him, he took it like a G.

Are you going to the dance?

I remember them dances.

Don't f*** with me.

Get on the ground!

- Do you little n*ggers want something?

- I was kind of thirsty.

- Go and get it.

- No, we're cool.

At least let me give you a ride

to the dance. It's the least I can do.

You're wasting time. Come on.

I'm taking you to the dance.

- Did you get some more Zig-Zags?

- I forgot.

- That's the reason we went there.

- I went to get some rubbers.

- Do you want a hit?

- No, we're cool.

- Are you Muslims or something?

- No, we just don't do that.

I'm just trying to be generous. I don't

understand youngsters nowadays.

Pass that sh*t this way.

F*** you. You ain't getting no Zig-Zags,

you ain't getting no drig-drag.

That sh*t rhymed, n*gger.

I should be a rapper.

I'm harder than DMC.

I'm serious. I'd make

a whole album about smoking weed.

Nobody wants to buy that.

We'll get some beats like these

and sell millions.

Name me one race

that don't smoke bud.

I'd sell millions.

I'd call it "The Weed Album".

Getting contact back here?

Sh*t, the police!

- Put the gun under the seat.

- Open the windows.

- Open the windows.

- Don't panic.

I'm just taking you to the dance.

- Is there a problem?

- Your tail light is out. Licence, please.

- Slowly.

- Here you go, sir.

- Whose car is this?

- Mine. But it's in my mother's name.

- Your last names don't match.

- She just remarried.

Stop crying!

It's amazing how tables can turn.

At the store, Boo was so tough, -

- but now they were kids like us.

Everybody out. Now!

Put your hands behind your heads.

Against the wall.

Get your hands behind your heads.

Get those legs apart.

I don't want to hear a sound.

Don't move. If you've got any

weapons or contraband, tell me now.

Spread them.

Get them apart.

We're going tojail.

I'm going to be on "Scared Straight".

Open those legs.

- They're clean.

- All this for a tail light?

- Speak only when you're spoken to.

- You heard the officer!

- Shut it up.

- Stacey, shut up.

What's going on?

It's just my allergies, sir. I'm sorry.

Unit C6. We'll take care of it.

God, if you get us out of this,

I'll never grab a booty again.

Davis, let's move.

Turn around.

You can go now.

And you, greasy one...

Get that tail light fixed.

Prayer really works. The robbery

they just committed got us off.

Life's funny sometimes.

As long as it doesn't laugh at you.

Get in the back, cry-baby.

These kids have more heart than you!

- I'm riding in the front.

- Get in the back or walk home!

In the front, homeboy.

You, get up in the front.

What were you thinking, alcoholic?

Popping Tic Tacs

when we got pulled over.

I was thinking that this could be

my last meal as a free man.

You smell.

He was thinking it might be a female

cop and he could sweet talk us out of it.

- Get some more Tic Tacs, just in case.

- Don't doubt the mack skills.

It's got me out of a lot of sh*t.

Keep the change, homey.

Get out and go have some fun.

Little man, let me talk to you.

I apologise for beating your ass.

But I was protecting my sister.

She's cute. There's always

some n*gger trying to f*** with her.

Yeah, I know. It's cool.

You like her, don't you?

It's cool.

I ain't gonna do nothing to you.

- I guess.

- You guess?

Well, yeah, I do.

- What's your name?

- Mike.

Big Mike. You got good taste.

She's cool. She's smart, too.

She loves that Luther Vandross song

"If This World Were Mine".

If they happen to play that,

I want you to get your dance.

I'm serious, man.

Go and have some fun... Big Mike.

Stay your cry-baby ass in the back!

- Are you all right?

- What did he say?

- He just wanted to know my name.

- I thought he was gonna get you.

No, man. Let's just get up

in this party, finally.

The party of all parties. I'd never seen

anything like this in North Carolina.

Hormonesjumping, music pumping,

booties shaking... paradise!

I'm gonna be freaking

all the fine skeezers up in here tonight.

Check it out, Ro.

Go, Ro!

That's my boy!

Lay back and let's see who's here.

Look at that freak right there.

That booty is nice!

I'm dancing with her.

You get her friend.

The power of horniness is amazing.

We werejust in a robbery, but

it was like nothing had happened.

Ladies, you want to dance with us?

I was so horny I forgot I couldn't dance.

What are you doing?

I was looking like a fool.

I'lljust get into my own thing.

Hey, watch this.

Or do you like this?

Mike, get it! "Dance Fever", huh?

I'm getting tired. I'm gonna stop.

This party is fly, man!

One from each corner of the room.

Ro ain't messing with me.

Ro, how many?

Six? Damn, I've only got four.

I'd have more if we hadn't come late.

How many you got, Mike?

- None.

- What?

You got to get up off that bench

if you want some numbers.

- He's waiting for Alicia.

- Forget it. Everybody wants her.

Including me.

- I'll tell her you want to talk to her.

- No, don't.

- No, for real. Come on.

- I'm just trying to help you.

- Why not hook me up?

- Why don't both of you talk to her?

See all these honeys?

That one is about to be number seven.

- Where?

- Right there.

You're all gonna owe me some money

after tonight. I'll get it from you later.

I won't pay for that big-headed girl.

I got to get some more numbers.

We're gonna slow it down now.

Grab a fine lady and get close.

That's the song!

I've got to find her. If I could

getjust this one dance...

I expected her to be dancing

with someone else.

Then I'd have an excuse

for not asking.

Maybe I should think about this.

I did grab her butt that day.

But that was two months ago,

and she's been cool ever since.

- Hey, Alicia.

- What's up, Mike?

I just wanted to say hi.

You haven't been alone all night.

I never really did get

to apologise for the bet.

Oh, that's what you get for hanging

around Roland and his nasty behind.

I was nervous as a hooker in church.

- I really like this song.

- It's a beautiful song.

Do you want to dance?

Yeah, sure.

My heart was beating 100 times

a minute. She smelled so good.

All I could think of was,

"Don't get hard"!

Look.

I love this part.

- Why don't you go dance with her?

- You, too!

Can't I call you?

Sh*t, I can't hold it any longer.

Captain, she's going to blow.

- I was in full salute.

- You okay, Mike?

Yeah, this is how we do it

in North Carolina.

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